The rest is up to you!

Our leadership team just returned about a week ago from our 2nd Annual Legacy Moms Leadership Team Retreat. It was such a great time for all of us to get refreshed and refocused on what God has in store for us personally as moms, but also for Legacy Moms as a whole. We are so excited to see what God has in store for all of you through this ministry!
One of the things we talked about is the healing and restoration that we go should through after a time of wandering away or after a dark time in our life. The steps can be found right there in a familiar passage, The 23rd Psalm:

"The LORD is my shepherd; I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name."

You see, we are often just like sheep: stressed, cast-down, wandering away. But Jesus, our good shepherd, wants to restore us and strengthen us, but we have to take that first step. The first step is to REST.
Rest???!!!! Do you even remember what that is? As moms, our lives are often so full of noise and activities that we think we have no time for rest. God gives us rest. But we have to go to Him for that. He knows we need it and when we honestly come before Him weak and weary, He will give us rest. It is easy for us to keep ourselves busy and "productive" and distracted, but we must take time to be still, to be quiet, and let him give us rest.
AFTER we have rested, then He strengthens us, refreshes us, and heals us. But it starts with rest. Many times, after we have gone though a season of darkness and stress and are worn down, if we allow Him to restore us and build us back up, we are more refined and better than we were before. Finally, after rest and strengthening, He takes us by the hand and gently leads us back along the right path. The path that is full of peace and brings honor to His name. That is the place where we are truly leaving a legacy to our children. A legacy that teaches that we all go through hard times, we all feel cast down at times and burdened. But there is hope and healing and restoration available if we take our burdens to Jesus.

It starts with resting in Him. Take time out from the hustle and bustle of your life and just spend time with Him and let Him give you rest. It will do you some good! God Bless!

Think Before You Speak

Have you ever noticed how judgmental we parents can be of other parents? How we tend to make assumptions about other people and their situations and diagnose their problems (as if we have all of our own stuff figured out!) Shouldn't we, who are in the trenches of motherhood, be the most understanding and helpful to other moms in need? Instead of giving them dirty looks, jumping to conclusions about their lack of parenting skills, or making rude comments? And if we see a child that is different, shouldn't we be kind and caring to that child instead of adding to their feelings of isolation by staring and pointing?

A few years ago, I got a tiny taste of what it must feel like to have a child that is different. Caedmon, (who is now a very healthy 5-year-old) was diagnosed with a kidney condition called Nephrotic Syndrome when he was just 1 year old. He was put on steroids for almost 4 months in order to solve the issue. During that time, the steroids caused him to balloon in size. (The photo was taken during treatment.) At one point he got so big he looked like an obese child. Once, a woman walked up to him and said, 'Well honey, does your mama ever tell you no? You don't look like you've ever missed a meal." Another time, as we walked in to a restaurant as a family, I saw someone gesture over to us and point to my older two children, then they puffed out their cheeks and pointed at Caedmon, laughing, I guess trying to figure out why he was the only one that looked so "fat." It crushed me to think that there are children (and moms) who go through this kind of thing their whole lives.

Recently, I received an e-mail from a mom of an autistic child that broke my heart and I felt everyone should read it. I edited the names to protect their identity. This is what it said:

"I don't know who I am sending this to or why I am sending it, I guess I just need to vent so I am putting it in writing. Most of you know G. and know the issues we have dealt with his entire life. He is such a great boy and works so hard at school and at therapy to overcome his obstacles the best he can. What most of you aren't aware of, except my playdate friends, is the rudeness we encounter from strangers on a weekly basis when G. acts up in public. I have been very strong and normally don't let people get to me, but the person today just sent me over my threshold of patience where I felt that I need to tell and ask for help from my friends and family.

So let me just re-enact the scene. I took the kids by myself to Chik-fil-A and G. has gotten really good playing in the play area. C. was sitting at a table with me eating and G. had finished eating so had gone into the play area. There were about 15 kids packed in this small play area and only one way to get into the jungle gym. There were about 5 kids (two of them under two years) clogging up the tunnel to go up. G. climbed right over them, pushing along the way. He does not have a problem pushing kids for no reason, but when they are in his way, he just pushes through because he can't say, "Hey kid, please move so I can get by."

Anyway, he pushed a little girl, who was about 18 months old and shouldn't be in there anyway and she started crying. I immediately went into the play area to have a talk with him, which he responds really well to and the three parents in there were looking for his mom and I heard this man say, "Well obviously there is something going on with him" and I asked who they were talking about and they said the boy in the blue shirt. I said it was my son and he had autism and he doesn't understand how to wait for the tunnel and not push his way through.

The man and ladies seemed fine and I pulled G. aside and had a long talk with him and then I headed back to the table to check on C., who was all by herself. The man said, 'You aren't leaving, are you?"'and I said, 'My three year old is out there by herself, do I need to stay?' and he said, 'Well the other kids shouldn't have to be punished because of him.'

I just stood there for a second soaking that statement in and the fire in my head started to boil. G. was so scared at that point that he was playing with a wheel at the bottom and not even near another kid. I told G. he was a good boy but that we needed to leave and I took him back to the table and just started crying. I just want him to be able to play in a play area with other kids. He has had 5 years of multiple therapies, thousands of thousands of dollars spent on getting him "normal" enough to take into public and not have someone say rude things like these. It breaks my heart for him and for me that we are treated like this. This is about the millionth time something like this has happened to me, in fact, I have been trying to come back with a good line to say with when this happens.
So, I don't have a clue to what you guys can do to help me. I guess, I just wanted to let people see some of the daily life of autism and what we have to deal with on top of all the other things we are dealing with, like insurance and not knowing if our son will ever read or not. It is not an easy life and we don't complain much about our struggles or the path that God choose for us, but we have them and sometimes it can overcome someone when a rude person makes a comment like this. If you can just take the time when you see a child that has special needs and don't judge them or stare at them or say mean things to their parents. Instead, ask if you can help with anything, tell them you know someone who has a special little boy and he is the greatest gift ever!

Well, thanks for reading my story, or if it was too long, I am sorry, like I said I just had to vent. If you can pass this along so that people can be made aware of what parents of special needs kiddos have to face just to get a chicken sandwich..."

My heart breaks for that mom and her little boy. We moms need to stick together and be advocates for ALL kids, not just our own. I hope that we can all learn to think before we speak and give people a little grace. You never know what someone is going through and making a rude comment or making assumptions about what you think is going on is never helpful in a situation. Our children need love and acceptance. They need understanding. They need someone to stick up for them and be their friend. Are you teaching your children to be kind to others, or to be critical and judgmental? They are watching every move you make. If we are Christ followers, our hearts need to break for those in need: be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. We need to teach our children and model for them what it looks like to reach out to those in need and give a kind word or some encouragement.

"Then the King will say to those on the right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.' " Then these righteous ones will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?' And the King will tell them, 'I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!' " Matt. 25:34-40

God Bless!

Jump in!

Many years ago, after my (now) husband and I had been dating for a couple of years, it became obvious that our relationship was headed toward marriage. I suddenly became very discontent and felt wish-washy about everything. I found myself obsessing about every little thing and worrying about the future. I was constantly asking myself, "What if...." this and "What about...." that. I was worried about making a mistake. I would think, "Is this the man God has for me?" I knew I loved him and wanted to marry him, but I was desperately afraid to make a mistake and commit. Even though I really wanted him to be "the one," I kept expecting some "sign" from God so I could know for sure. So, I spent the next 6 months in turmoil, worrying, and over-analyzing everything. Now, keep in mind that all of this was mostly taking place in my own private thoughts, and he was basically oblivious to my inner struggle. He thought things were great! (Isn't that so typical!)
Finally, after seeking wise counsel and much prayer, I decided to trust God that this was, indeed, the man for me, and just in the nick of time! Soon after he proposed and I accepted.
Here is why I tell you this story....after I decided to commit and made a decision and knew for sure that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with, all those little "issues" that I was so worried about just went away! I had peace, the little things didn't matter that much anymore, and I knew where I was headed....even if I didn't know all the details....I knew I was committed 100% to being his wife and it felt great to have some clarity about it.
So, are you feeling discontent and worried about where you are at in your life? Is it possible that you are "on the fence" in your relationship with Christ, and that if you would just commit 100%, you could find peace and contentment? Or maybe you have given your life to Christ, but your have not committed fully to His calling on your life. Maybe you are afraid to make a mistake, over-analyzing everything, or waiting for a "sign" before you commit to what you know He has called you to do. I went through the same cycle again when I felt God was calling me to start Legacy Moms. (Why don't we learn our lessons the first time!!!!)
We may not know everything about where we are going, but maybe committing to it is half the battle. Life is like a rushing river and it is going by.....fast! You can either stand by wondering where the river is going, worrying about all the unknowns......or you can trust God and jump in! I say, "Let's jump!"
God bless!

Being a Better Me

The new year usually motivates me and causes me anxiety at the same time. On the one hand, I'm excited to get back to life as normal: regular schedules, regular meals, etc... but even better. I'm always ready to turn over a new leaf and be a better version of myself. I'm going to get up earlier! I'm going to have a quiet time first thing everyday! I'm going to work out and eat right! I'm going to be a great mom! I'm going to be a great wife! I'm going to floss everyday! But then I feel all this pressure....because the new year is HERE and it's time to get started! (Oh no! I have to get up earlier? Uh oh...I was supposed to work out today! GUILT is setting in already!) And I know that more than likely a year from now I will be trying once again to be the better version of me for as long as I can sustain it, but truth be told, I will probably be the same old,average, imperfect me.
Now, I know that I will never be perfect this side of heaven. I also know that in my strength alone I will never be the best version of myself. In fact, the more I try to improve myself with my own will, the worse I seem to get! This year, instead of focusing on the kind of person I want to be, I am going to focus on the kind of person God wants me to be. I'm going to lay all my imperfections at His feet and ask Him to mold me into the woman He wants me to be. If I trust in Him for everything, and obey His word, I have a feeling that through His power, I will just naturally be the better version of me. I'll be a better mom, a better wife, friend, etc.. Not for my glory, but for His. Besides, where would I be if I hadn't learned all that I have through the lessons of my failures? Being a Legacy Mom isn't about being perfect, it's just about doing the best you can with what you got, doing the best you can today and giving the rest to God. I am praying for you to do just that!

A Great Gift!

If you have a son or husband that loves action/adventure/fantasy movies like Pirates of the Caribbean or books like The Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia, then I have a great gift idea for you! (Okay, to be fair, some of you moms might like that kind of stuff too!) Let me recommend the book The Legend of the Firefish by George Bryan Polivka. I bought this book for my son, Cameron, and he devoured it, stating that it was by far his favorite all-time book. Then my dad read it and now I am currently reading it. We gave an autographed copy of it away at Open Book night, and I talked about it briefly at that time. It is the first installment in the "Trophy Chase Trilogy" and has been compared to a pirate version of the show "24." Let me share with you three reasons why you should get this book:

1. It is a Christian fantasy/adventure, so there is no worry of mystical/magical themes that are dark and might be objectionable for you as a parent. However, it has all the action, suspense and adventure to appeal to the most serious reader who might otherwise overlook Christian fiction. I would recommend it for anyone 12 or over, because the thematic elements do deal with the reality of good and evil in our world. The author says this, "Although the kingdom of Nearing Vast is mythical, it is not magical. Like our world, it is populated with people who have very real limitations. The world, the flesh, and the devil press in, and threaten destruction. But here, as in our world, there is power in faith, and all people have hope for redemption. This is not a 'sword and sorcery' tale, but one of 'sword and spirit.' There is no magic....but there are miracles."
2. As a mother of two boys, I have at times struggled to raise boys that are Godly young men, yet still masculine MEN. (Thank God I have a husband who is a great example of a Godly man to lead that process!) This book beautifully addresses this struggle that I have no doubt many men struggle with as well. How do you obey God's word and follow Jesus' example (like turning the other cheek), yet avoid becoming weak and pushed around? When do you fight and when do you just walk away? Packer, the hero in this story, is a great example of what it means to be a man of faith in the face of trials and temptation. He exudes biblical "meekness" which is really strength under control.
3. The third reason I love this book is that Polivka creates a heroine that is strong because of her God-given female traits, not in-spite of them. You gotta love that! Panna faces trials and temptations with perseverance and overcomes her human flaws with faith and persistence.

Well, in the spirit of full-disclosure, I must tell you there is one more reason I love this book. The author, George Bryan Polivka, is incredibly talented, and he gave me my first job out of college and taught me many of the skills that I now use in my ministry of speaking, teaching and writing (even though we were working in television and not in a Christian environment!). God used him in my life many years ago to prepare me for the path He would eventually call me to, long before I was even a mom or had any notion of starting a ministry. We crossed paths again recently and I was so happy to see how God is using him through these books. He is a fantastic writer and I hope you enjoy it as much as we have. By the way, don't forget to click on our Legacy Moms "store" and order it through Amazon. When you order anything through Amazon by going through our store first, Amazon gives Legacy Moms a referral fee. 100% of the money goes back into our ministry so we can continue to equip and encourage moms. Thanks for supporting us. Blessings!