The Journal

When God Closes a Door......

2011-12-16T09:15:00.007-06:00

He always opens a window. We’ve heard this popular quote all our lives. I’m not even sure who said it, but I bet we have all said it, or been told it at some point. But is it true? And more importantly, do we set ourselves and our children up for unrealistic expectations when we repeat popular phrases like this? I don’t know for sure.
I think that it is true, but it doesn’t always happen immediately. In my life, sometimes God closes a door, but instead of then immediately opening a window, He says, “Now that the door is closed, I have something to work out in you. So for now, you need to be still in this place and trust Me. I will open the window in My timing. Be patient.”
I have been in this very position for the past couple of years. Knowing that a door was being closed, and wanting it to just hurry up and close so God could open a window and I could move on from this particular trial and we could be done with it. But instead, it has been a long, drawn-out process. And in that process I have experienced such a growth in my relationship with Him.
Paul said in Romans 5:3-4 “… we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
What I have realized also through this process is that my precious children are watching me. They are watching me to see how I respond to the waiting and the suffering and not knowing. It is as if they are asking, “Mom, is God’s Word really true?” Is He really trustworthy? Does He really love us and want what’s best for us, even when there is suffering?”
And in this, like many other times, my attitude and my example is either going to reinforce God’s Word in their lives, or it’s not. I have not been perfect in this area….trust me! But I have gotten better. Maybe that’s what God has been waiting for, for me to get better at trusting Him.
So, have hope my friend. If a door is being closed in your life, and it doesn’t look like there is an open window that you can see, be patient. Sit in the presence of God and enjoy the view and understand that the closed window is protecting you from more storms. God is using this time of waiting to perfect His plan for you. Teach this to your kids and remember their little eyes and ears are taking in more than you know. God will plant your family where He wants in His timing so that you all can grow deep roots in Him and bear much fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8
7 “But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
8 He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

Have a blessed day!

~Kym

From One Mom to Another: A Few Things I've Learned To Keep Your Teens Safe On Facebook - Part VII

2011-12-06T11:10:00.005-06:00

So, we have covered a lot of ground in this series, but like I said in our very first post, this is not a comprehensive list of everything you can do to be prudent when it comes to your teen and social networking. We cannot overlook the important role that prayer, training your teen's heart, and instilling Christ-like character play in preparing your teen to handle all areas of life with dignity and self-respect. These are things that hopefully you have been doing for years, and will see the benefits of as you enter those murky waters of the teen years and the changing world of technology. Stay on top of it, be alert and informed, and communicate. Most importantly, keep Christ the center of your home.

To wrap up, I want to share with you the two best parts of Facebook in my opinion:

1) Facebook is a FANTASTIC way to find out who your teen's friends really are and to keep you in-the-know about what is going on at school, in sports, etc. It can create some great dialogue between you and your teen. Don’t be afraid to be Facebook friends with your son or daughter's friends. As moms, we can all help each other to keep our teens safe and keep an eye on them, but it is also a great way to create relationships and stay in touch with those kids that we don't see as often. Several of my friends are Facebook friends with my kids and vice versa.

2) Facebook (and technology in general) is a great privilege to be earned or taken away for a time if situations warrant that! Quite simply: Facebook can be a great motivator.

Now for a word of caution when it comes to "mom etiquette" on Facebook: be sensitive to your teen and resist the urge to comment on and “like” every single one of their posts. Also, ask them before you share a picture or mention them in a post. Talk to your teen and see how they feel about you interacting with them. Some don’t care, but some will! We want to supervise them in a healthy way, but not be intrusive or (gasp!) embarrassing! Communication and clear expectations can prevent a lot of conflict in the future, and showing your teen respect and understanding will help build a relationship of trust between the two of you.

I hope this series has been of some help to you!

Blessings,

Kym

From One Mom to Another: A Few Things I've Learned To Keep Your Teens Safe On Facebook - Part VI

2011-12-04T19:34:00.004-06:00

If your teen is on Facebook, it is so important to tell him/her to report to you anytime a stranger tries to engage them on Facebook, and you might want to come up with some boundaries about going to "Pages" and commenting on posts by pages, because unlike your friend's walls, those pages are public.

What I mean by "pages" is anything your teen has "liked", like music groups, tv shows, celebrities, etc. For example, a couple of years ago my son was on a Lego Collectors page where someone had asked a question about a specific piece that is not available in Europe. This person commented on a post by the page and wanted to know if anyone had this piece in the US and could describe it. My son innocently saw the question, and knew the answer so he commented on the post and answered his question. This person continued to ask more questions. Within a day, he sent an “inbox” message to my son saying, “Hey, I tried to send you a friend request but it won’t let me. You seem like a cool guy, send me a friend request.” (If you recall from a previous post, I mentioned how important is was to set your teen's privacy so that only people with mutual friends could send a friend request.)

My son thought is was suspicious, and he immediately showed it to me. As I investigated, this guy had a cartoon as his profile pic and only had “liked” pages that young boys would be on and had only a handful of Facebook friends. Suspicious, to say the least! My son replied with “Nah, man, sorry I don’t friend people I don’t know,” then promptly “blocked” him from ever contacting him again. It was lesson learned, but please be aware that when your kids post and comment on pages they have “liked” they can be targeted by predators.

Bullying can also be a problem on Facebook. Experts say that the younger the teen group, the meaner the bullying can be. A recent study said that 9 out of 10 teens say they have seen some type of bullying on social media sites. It seems that Facebook is trying to address it and provide some solutions for it. This is a great link for you and your teen to take a look at:
https://www.facebook.com/help/?page=178608028874393

Some of the bullying takes place in private groups and pages created with the intention of spreading rumors etc. This should be discussed and my suggestion is to have some real clear expectations and consequences for gossiping or bullying (ie: no more Facebook). Hopefully this isn't even an issue for you, but it is good during the training period to talk about what is acceptable.

As we went through our "training period" we talked about being careful not to just "like" a page or join a group just because your friends have, but only like those things that you truly like and want more information from. More liked pages just means more unfiltered posts and advertisements, so teach your kids to be prudent and selective.

On the upside: not ALL Facebook pages are bad! Legacy Moms is pretty good, right? Find out if your church's youth group has a page, and find other ministry pages or Christian groups or singers that they like. There are some great pages that post encouragement, Scripture, and truth. It's all about making Facebook work for you, not against you!

Next post: The two biggest benefits to having your teens on Facebook - stay tuned!

Blessings,

Kym

From One Mom to Another: A Few Things I've Learned To Keep Your Teens Safe On Facebook - Part V

2011-12-01T10:09:00.003-06:00

When it comes to friending on Facebook, I have realized that most teens will send friend requests and accept them from anyone who they have mutual friends with (ie: classmates) even if they really do not know the person. Because of this, be aware that your young teen may end up being Facebook friends with older siblings of friends, college students, etc. and you may need to watch the content on their news feed for age-appropriateness.

If you come across a friend using language or posting things that are objectionable, your teen does have the option to just "un-friend" the person. Note that although the other person won't get a notification that they were deleted, if they truly are friends with your teen, "un-friending" someone in teen world is like saying "I'm not your friend." One way that we have handled this tricky area is to just "hide" their posts by "unsubscribing." You do this by hovering over the upper right corner of one of their posts until the arrow appears. Click it to reveal the drop-down menu. You then can select if you want to see some of their posts, all of them, none of their status updates, or just click "unsubscribe." When you unsubscribe, nothing they post will appear on your newsfeed anymore, but you are still Facebook friends. Please note that because you are still friends, your teen can still go to that persons page and see everything they have posted, and that person will still be seeing your posts like normal.

As parents, I do think we need to watch out for one another and our kids, but do it in a helpful, not harmful way. If you see another teen posting something harmful or inappropriate online, don't be afraid to let the parents know. Many times parents are just not aware of what is going on or do not check. If my child posted something harmful, I would want to know!

This goes into a whole other area we will address later about being Facebook friends with your teen and your teens close friends. We'll address that in another post. But for now, just let me say that if you see something dangerous, contact the parent quickly but in private. Facebook walls are for the most part public and NOT the place to question or confront every post that you are concerned about. (This goes for everyone! It's not Biblical to confront someone like that Matt. 18:15) If you see something that is questionable or could be something inappropriate but your aren't sure, save yourself some embarrassment from over-reacting. Keep in mind that you might not know the whole context and should probably give the person the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions and publicly admonishing them. Be diligent and wise, but don't be intrusive and become the Facebook police. It's best to just have an agreement with a few close friends to watch out for one another as your teens learn Facebook, and unsubcribe to those you don't really know and don't find their posts appropriate.

ONE IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW: there is a setting so that no one can search your teen or send them a friend request without having a mutual friend first. This is SO IMPORTANT. There are “fake” pages out there that search out and send requests to (especially to teen boys) with a profile picture of a scantily-clad female, then say, “If you want to see more pictures of me, click this link” to either get them to a porn site, or for phishing. This can be avoided simply by getting your settings correct. This also protects you some from predators who might be trolling around on public pages, looking for young teens to "friend" and communicate with. I have a personal story on this issue - more on this tomorrow.

Have a great day!

From One Mom to Another: A Few Things I've Learned To Keep Your Teens Safe On Facebook - Part IV

2011-11-29T14:11:00.009-06:00

So, last week we left-off talking about having a "training period" with your teens on Facebook. One of the most important things you can do is to teach them to avoid clicking on a link unless they are 100% sure it is legitimate.

There are spyware pictures and videos posted everyday on Facebook that have shocking headlines or comments to entice you to click on them. Once you do, the spammer now has access to your account and reposts the link to all your friends as you…and so it spreads. These links usually look suspicious and end with things like .cn or other two-letter endings.
Some of these malicious links that I have seen include a link that claims to have a video of Osama Bin Ladin being captured (see pic above), or a link to a video that says something like "You'll never believe what this dad saw on his daughter's Facebook" or "Such-and-Such celebrity caught on shocking video." There are also all the claims of free stuff if you click certain links. Another popular ploy you will see a lot is “you can see who looks at your Facebook page” or "Click here to find out who has deleted you." According to Facebook, this is impossible and there will never be an app that lets you circumvent their system to see who looks at your page, or who has deleted you, etc.

In short, if it sounds too good to be true, or if it seems too shocking, it’s probably a scam. Do not click on it and report it immediately to Facebook by hovering over the right corner of the post and when the arrow appears with the drop-down menu, click “report as spam.”

Once you click on these malicious links, the spammer now reposts the same link as YOU. This is important to know because this is how these bad links get perpetuated. Even my pastor-friend got hacked and had a pornographic picture posted with the comment "OMG! You'll never believe this video!". Clearly his friends knew it was a fraud and warned him to change his password immediately and we reported it to Facebook, but teens are pretty gullible and their curiosity will get the best of them if they don't know what they are dealing with. If you are going to help your teen navigate safely through Facebook, then you must help them understand the fraud that is out there, what the risks are, and how to avoid it and then report it.

Tomorrow we will discuss issues with friending and fraud that takes place there, too!
Hang in there, moms! I know this can be overwhelming, but your kids are worth it.

Blessings,

Kym

From One Mom to Another: A Few Things I've Learned To Keep Your Teens Safe On Facebook - Part III

2011-11-21T10:14:00.003-06:00

Today's tip: If you decide to let your teen get on Facebook, it is advisable to have a "probationary/training period" with some extra limits to ensure they know how to us it properly before you just "set them free" on the site.

When my kids first got a Facebook account, we had a training period where they weren’t allowed to be on Facebook without me right there, to help them navigate their way and so I could show them what is safe and appropriate to do on Facebook and what they must avoid. (My husband doesn't "do" Facebook, so I had to do the training on this area - but get Dad involved if he is a Facebook user too!)

For example, I would sit next to them and show them that things in writing don’t always come across the way you want them to. To avoid misunderstandings, or hurt feelings, or misinterpretations, I had to teach them to think carefully about the words they choose and what they post, comment on, etc.. As we went through their Facebook page together, there were plenty of examples to use and we had some good discussions about how the things you post reflect who you are in a very public way.

Also, as they got more and more friends, and as a result had more posts to see on their newsfeeds, I had to teach them how to recognize the bad, spyware links, (more on that on my next post) and how to block or remove posts that they didn’t need to be getting, and who to “friend” and who to decline (more on that in a few days).

When they demonstrated good decision-making and trustworthiness and an ability to understand and use Facebook in a beneficial way, then they earned the privilege of getting on without me watching their every move, and the ability to post things, etc.. without asking me to check it first. (The good news is, they still run things by me if they aren’t sure!)

We have drilled into our kids' heads that they are representing Christ and our family when they make decisions away from us. This includes posting things on Facebook. It is easy for them to forget how public things are and that anyone can be reading their conversations. So we remind them not to say anything that they couldn’t say to their grandparents or pastor or on a stage in front of all their classmates - or don't post any picture that you wouldn't want the world to see - period. Believe me, this takes time to learn. Facebook is just another piece to a bigger puzzle that you are creating with your kids in understanding how to handle themselves with dignity and respect in life away from your watchful eye. In this day of technology - you have two options. You can forbid it all, and risk having your teen using it without guidance, or you can get intentional, learn about it, and train them to use it correctly.

True character is being who you say you are even when no one is looking. If they are authentic, this shouldn’t be a problem, but with the pressure of "being cool" and fitting in, etc..some teens might find it easy to blur the lines, which is why it important to continue to monitor them now and then, and have honest discussions.

By the way, there is a "delete post" option...and with teens and their impulsivity, you might want to get them familiar with it, because you will probably want to use it a time or two! In addition, access to Facebook can be a great privilege and motivator, so removing the privilege for misuse can be a useful tool in your training "toolbag."

Next post: Malicious/dangerous content on Facebook

From One Mom to Another: A Few Things I've Learned To Keep Your Teens Safe On Facebook - Part II

2011-11-19T10:04:00.004-06:00

This is the second installment on a series of posts I am doing. If you missed yesterday's post, be sure to go down and read that one. Today I want to share with you what you need to know about privacy settings.

Privacy settings are super-important and must be checked regularly! As the parent, you do have control over who can see what on your teen’s wall. It's not about being over-controlling and suspicious. It's about being smart and doing your job to protect your kids and equip them to be smart when it comes to internet safety. My suggestion is to make everything “friends only.” I have been on Facebook since 2008 and they make changes and “updates” FREQUENTLY, and many times these changes affect your privacy settings. You can’t be too careful, so check them often.

Here is a link that details Facebook’s privacy settings for minors as of now: https://www.facebook.com/help/?page=214189648617074

To check your teen's privacy settings:

Click the arrow next to HOME in upper right corner and from the drop-down menu, go to privacy settings. First, you can set the overall default setting to "Friends". Then go down to “edit settings” next to “how you connect.” This is how my older teen’s page is set:

• Who can look up your profile by name or contact info? Friends of Friends
• Who can send you friend requests? Friends of Friends
• Who can send you Facebook messages? Friends
• Who can post on your Wall? Friends
• Who can see Wall posts by others on your profile? Friends of Friends

You have the option to make each one of these either: everyone, friends of friends, or just friends. I would suggest not having anything set to everyone for your teen, regardless of whether Facebook says minors are protected. As I said, things change. We will address these settings again in a future post, and I can not stress enough how important it it to get these correct!

On the topic of privacy, one of the prerequisites for my kids was that I have their passwords and can access their FB at anytime. I have heard that some teens are creating a decoy Facebook page for their family members to see, then secretly creating another page with an alias that they actually use. A friend told me she had a teen family member whom she searched for and found she had two pages, one with her real name and one with her middle name that her parents knew nothing about. You have to have another e-mail address to create another page. Beware of that! If you know your teen is on Facebook frequently, yet you see very few posts from their friends and nothing new being posted, you might check into that. Personally, if my child did that, there would be no more access to technology – but that’s just me! People that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. If your teen is hiding their Facebook page from you, there is probably a reason and it’s your job to find out!

Coming Monday: Training your teen to understand how to use Facebook appropriately and recognize fraud.

Have a blessed weekend and please share with your friends!

From One Mom to Another: A Few Things I've Learned To Keep Your Teens Safe On Facebook.

2011-11-18T10:28:00.006-06:00

First let me say that I am no “expert” on Facebook. I am just a mom, like you. But if you and I were having coffee together and the topic of teens and Facebook came up, there are a few things that I have learned that I would share with you, because I know that you, like me, are an intentional mom and would want to be smart when it comes to your kids and their well-being. As I wrote out my list, I realized I had A LOT to say - too much for one post. So I will be posting one point a day for the next couple of weeks. Obviously, this series of posts is not going to be a comprehensive list of everything a wise mom needs to know about Facebook, but just the things that stand out to me as very important. Also, Facebook is an ever-changing place, so if you’re reading this anytime after November, 2011, the detailed information may not even be accurate anymore, but some will still be helpful. My hope is that you will “share” these posts and pass them along to every mom you know, so that we can all keep our sweet kiddos safe and help them navigate through the murky waters of social media.

So here we go!

1. Facebook might be great for some teens, but could be very unhealthy for some others. Although it seems to be a reality we need to accept, you can say no to Facebook and be perfectly fine, but be prepared for a battle. If your teen wants to be on Facebook, my suggestion is you really get to know it and know your teen and decide if it is something that will help them or hinder them. For example, for some teens it can be a great way to build community and friendships with people they don’t see as often, like the people in their youth group at church, for example. For social teens and those that are mature and have good friendships, it can be an enhancement for them. However, if your teen is likely to suffer with feelings of insecurity and being left-out, you might think twice about Facebook, or at the very least have a discussion about the negative side of being on Facebook. That is; they will find out about parties, sleepovers, and get-togethers that they were not invited to. For some teens, this is no big deal, but for others it can lead to depression and insecurity. Another important thing to discuss is that people portray the best, most exciting parts of their life on Facebook. If your teen begins to compare their “real” life to the seemingly “amazing” life portrayed on FB by their friends, it can seem as though their life is boring in comparison, which can cause some teens to become depressed. Doctors are now identifying what they call “Facebook Depression” in teens, so just be aware of it. You can read more about that here:

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42298789/ns/health-mental_health/t/docs-warn-about-teens-facebook-depression/#.TsZpqlb4J8s

Talk with your teen about why they want to be on Facebook and what their intentions are with it. An honest, open discussion about it can really help you decide if it is a good choice for your teen now, or if it is something that should be delayed a bit.

Next post: What you should know about your teen's privacy settings.

Stay tuned!

Belts, Binders & More

2011-11-10T07:24:00.005-06:00

"Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” ~Mathew25:40

Each year, Legacy Moms families reach out to our community and provide Christmas gift and basic needs for needy children and their families in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. This year for our annual Christmas outreach, Legacy Moms will be serving the families at Travis Middle School in Irving, Texas, and we have several ways you can participate with us! Many of the kids attending TMS are in such severe poverty that they are having to wash their school uniforms at school and many of the kids go without lunch, and for some kids, school lunch is the only meal they will get that day. The vice-principal of this school has asked for us to help. Please pray about helping in one of the following ways:

1. The biggest need is for Legacy Moms families and their friends, small groups, etc., to “adopt” a family to provide Christmas presents for them. There are families of all sizes available and it is great if several families want to go together to take care of a family. The needs would be something like school shoes, clothes, and maybe a fun toy for each child and a grocery card or paying the utility bill for the family would be great if you would like to bless the parents as well!

If you would like to adopt a family, please e-mail Brooke Andrews at Brooke@ashleytayloragency.com or Jessica Gaudin at jessicagaudin@yahoo.com and let them know you are interested as soon as possible.
Families will be available to choose from by November 11 and you can begin shopping! Then, on December 17th at 9:30 am, we will participate in a Christmas Family Celebration in the school’s cafeteria, where you will be able to meet your family, have breakfast, and bless them with your gifts. What a great way to show your kids what being the hands and feet of Christ really looks like and serving the needy together as a family!

2. Belts and Binders!! These kids are in desperate need of 3-ring binders for school and belts to wear with their uniforms per school rules. Belts for size 38+ are especially needed. Belts and binders can be new or used. Please bring your donations of belts and binders to our November Legacy Moms meeting.

3. Donate any spare change you may have sitting in a jar somewhere. This money can go toward a “lunch fund” at the school for kids who aren’t able to eat that day. You can bring your spare change containers to Legacy Moms in November. This is a great way to get your kids involved- let them see how much spare change they can collect!

We will also need volunteers on Dec. 17 to help set up at the school cafeteria (1600 Finely Rd in Irving). If you would like to help with that as well, please e-mail Brooke or Jessica above.

Thanks for being a part of our Christmas outreach! We look forward to seeing God move in the lives of the children as a result of your love and generosity. Don’t forget to bring your belts, binders, and change to Legacy Moms in November! We’ll see you there!

God Bless,

Kym

Passing it On

2011-11-04T10:10:00.005-05:00

I think most parents would agree that we want to pass on good things to our kids because we love them, and we hope in our heart-of-hearts that we aren't passing on too many of our "bad traits" to them. Most Christian parents I know would say they really want to leave a godly legacy to their children, but in the day-to-day grind, we sometimes lose sight of our real purpose as parents and we get lost in the details. Sometimes we just need a kick-in-pants to re-focus on our purpose and be reminded that our purpose as Christian parents is to leave a biblical legacy.
God gives a mandate in scripture to parents. He tells us that our job is to teach our children about Him.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (New Living Translation)
“ …you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

It is our job as parents to teach our children about the Lord and how to live in obedience to His word. You may be thinking, "But I send my child to Sunday School, and a Christian School, and VBS, and he/she is learning it from people who are trained to that sort of thing. Why should I have to do it?" The answer is simple: because as parents, we are the biggest influencers in our child’s life.

In Exodus 20:6, God tells Moses:
“I lavish my love on those who love me and obey my commands, even for a thousand generations.”

What we do now matters – it impacts future generations. The fact is: You WILL pass on something…the question is, what are you passing on?

Everything we need to know about passing on a Godly legacy to our children in found in scripture. The Bible is as valid for us now as it was for all the generations of parents before us.

So, there’s good news and bad news:
The good news is: You have tremendous power to shape your child’s life
The bad news is: You have tremendous power to shape your child’s life!

When we as parents really understand that the choices we make today affect the way our children remember their childhoods, that those decisions mold who they are and how they see life, that’s when we get serious about making changes that create a godly legacy. That's when we bring some balance to our decisions and become intentional as parents. Children thrive best in an atmosphere of genuine love and affection, supported by reasonable, consistent discipline and boundaries.

In this day and time, with so much trying to win the hearts and minds of our children, we can’t just rely on hope or luck to raise "good" kids that might someday live a godly life. We must be intentional and make a CHOICE to parent according to God’s Word and make it a priority to INFUSE that into every choice we make.

Legacies are built one day at a time. What can you do today to get your family back on track? Read the Bible together, pray together, and learn to filter everything through the truth of God's word.

Have a blessed day!

Kym

Obstacles to Mouth Peace

2011-10-28T10:25:00.006-05:00

At our last event, we talked extensively about how we communicate with the people around us and how it can set them (and us) in the right or wrong directions based on what we say and how we say it. I quickly went through a list of common trouble-spots for women and asked you to evaluate which ones are your biggest problems so that you can get to the source of it and get it under control. As promised, here is that list in writing so you can really take it in:

Gossip: Do you enjoy hearing and repeating the latest news or rumors you hear about others?
Slander: Do you use your words to cast someone in a negative light?
Nagging: Do you repeat yourself over and over to get what you want?
Meddling: Do you get in the middle of other people’s issues, or try to be a go-between a lot?
Bragging: Do you seek attention by pointing out yourself to be greater than you actually are?
Lying: Do you leave out facts and/or misrepresent facts?
Embellishes: Do you make things seem dramatic, more exciting, or more horrible than they actual are?
Argumentative: Do you feel the need to have the last word and prove yourself to be right?
Anger: Do you have a bad-temper or get defensive easily?
Talking Too Much: Do you monopolize conversations, interrupt, and give your opinion frequently?
Withholding Reconciliation: Are you slow to forgive or admit you are wrong?
Disloyalty: Do you betray confidences or repeat things that should be private? When you are hurt, do you feel the need to share it with someone else instead of the offender?
Critical Spirit: Do you easily find faults and focus on people’s shortcomings?
Complaining: Do you whine and go on and on about your circumstances or let people know when you are inconvenienced or busy or tired? Is your first instinct to tell people all the things that are wrong in your life?
Wrong assumptions: Do you analyze and assume the worst about people’s motives and intentions? Do you accuse others of having motives that are bad? Are you suspicious of others, in general?
Record-keeper: Do you make list of other’s wrongs and bring them up as evidence to hurt them?
Sarcasm: Do you mock others and/or use humor to put others down or put them in their place?
Harsh words: Do you speak before you think? Do you use your words to hurt others?
Flatterer: Do you compliment others to your advantage? Do you use flattery to manipulate?
Potty Mouth: Do you use swear words around certain people just to make a point? Do you use the latest phrases or words even when they are generally considered not curse words, but are still unwholesome?
One-sided conversationalist: Do you fail to really listen to others? Do you start jumping to conclusions about what they are going to say before you are sure you have really heard and understood what they said? Do you spend the time while others talk thinking about what you are going to say next?

James 3:2 tells us that when it comes to our mouths, no person is perfect and we all stumble in many ways. Looking at the list above, that is obvious!
We all start to get off-track from time to time, and it happens so subtly that we don’t usually notice until we are having big problems. A true Legacy Moms realizes that it is good to asses ourselves from time to time and make adjustments before we run our family off into the ditch with our mouths. When we find mouth peace, we then can be God's mouthpiece and share hope, love and truth with our mouths and be a breath of fresh air in the lives of our loved ones and those we are building relationships with. If you were at the event, I'd love your feedback and how our discussion impacted you or what meant the most to you!

Have a blessed day!

5 Parenting Mistakes that Create Entitled, Self-Absorbed Kids

2011-09-12T12:54:00.006-05:00

1. Bribing for desired behavior. Take a trip to your local grocery store and you'll probably see at least one mom pleading with her child to behave, and it usually ends up with the mom telling the child that if she will be "good" she can have some candy. I'm all for rewarding our children when they succeed at something, but when we set up a system where there is no real standards for obedience, self-control, respect, etc. and then we use bribes to get the desired results when we are desperate, we have essentially trained our child to act like a brat and expect something in return if they don't.

2. Giving your child too many options. Be honest, sometimes we give our child a choice simply to avoid the conflict that will ensue when we don't. But this is a dead-end road. I'll never forget the day we announced to our three children that we were eating out and they all piped-in with which restaurant they wanted to eat at. Really? When I was growing up we were just happy to get to eat at a restaurant every now and then. When we constantly ask our children "Do you want this one or this one? Do you want to watch a movie or play outside? Do you want to go now or later?", we are teaching them that what they want is the most important thing, regardless of other people's comfort, convenience or preferences.

3. Giving gifts to the non-birthday child at a sibling's birthday. This one really confuses me. I'm not sure when this trend started, but I guess in order to make things "fair", parents have started this practice and requesting that others do this for their children as well. Children need to learn that life is not always fair. But more importantly, they need to learn that the world does not revolve around them and that there are days where we celebrate someone else and make them feel special. Believe me, this will lead to sibling problems BIG TIME if you are doing this. Let the birthday child have their own special day in the limelight, and teach your children to be happy for the person being celebrated instead of jealous that they aren't getting presents, too. This will also teach them the art of delayed gratification. More on that in #5.

4. Underestimating what your child is capable of. If you consistently do tasks for your child that they are physically and developmentally capable of doing, you are handicapping your child's ability to be an independent, productive person. Chores are good for kids, and they need to do them because they are a member of the family, not just so they can get paid for them. Children as young as 2 can start learning how to clean up toys, put plastic cups in low cupboard, etc. Teach your children life skills as they become able to do them, and then LET THEM do it. When I child says "I can't", they are usually meaning "I won't".

5. Giving in to immediate gratification. As parents, we sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that if our child wants something, and we have the means to do it for them, that we should. One of the best lessons you can teach your child is to wait for something, and work toward it. If you give into your child's every whim, they will learn to expect that when they want something, they are not capable of waiting, and they will struggle with patience and self-control their whole life.

Entitled, self-absorbed people don't make good spouses, they don't make good employees, and they don't make good citizens. They also don't make good parents, either. Remember you are raising the people that will raise your grand-children!

Many Blessings,

Kym

The Masquerade

2011-08-24T15:19:00.007-05:00

Many times when I speak to women, I say that women are sometimes still that 7th grade girl inside who just wants to fit-in and be accepted. Let’s face it, most women are pleasers and desperately want to connect in some way with other women.

Recently I was doing a little mother-daughter Bible study time with my daughter (who, by the way, is now a 7th grader). We were talking about the temptation for young girls to masquerade as someone else in order to fit-in and be liked. She confessed to me that even she has been guilty of putting on a mask (Gasp! Shocker! ). She described times where she has been with a group of older girls that are talking about “such-and-such” TV show, or some popular singer that they like, and although she has never seen it, or heard of it, she pretends to know what they are talking about so she can be a part of the group and seem cool like them.

Sounds familiar, right? Haven’t we all been there at some point? We put on our mask, our “public persona” and go through life pretending that we have it all together, that we are little happier, a little cooler, than we actually are. The reason 7th graders do this is the same reason we might do it as grown women: because we are afraid of rejection. We are afraid that if people know who we really are, if people know the truth of our situation, or know that we aren’t quite as “with-it” as we pretend to be, they won’t like us. The truth is: if a girl goes through life masquerading as someone else, then she will be left feeling empty and unaccepted anyway because no one has gotten to know the real person and therefore doesn’t really accept and love her for who she really is.

It’s important that we talk frankly about this stuff with our daughters. It’s also important that we be frank with ourselves. If you are masquerading, ask yourself why. When we find our identity in Christ, and trust His plan for our life, then we are free to be real. We are free to be transparent with our struggles, our weaknesses, and just free to love ourselves enough to risk rejection, but also risk being loved for whom we really are.

That’s one of the purposes of Legacy Moms. Motherhood can be both rewarding and challenging for many women and moms need a place to be open,real, and loved for who they are. Women also need other women in their life that love them enough to speak the truth to them, even when it challenges them, or to give them encouragement through a rough time, so that they can reach their full, God-given potential as mothers, wives, and friends. So whether you are still wearing your fancy party-mask, or if you haven’t worn a stitch of make-up since your last child was born- will you join us? We need each other! Another great year of Legacy Moms events starts the last Monday in September.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” `Proverbs 27:17

Blessings,

Kym

Generational Sin

2011-06-23T16:04:00.002-05:00

I saw a news story today about the son of one of my high school coaches who has gotten in trouble for some of the same things his dad had been accused of many years ago. I was reminded of how God put boundaries and rules of acceptable behavior in our lives to protect us. Following God's word protects us from ourselves, and protects those we love from being unwilling sufferers in the poor choices we make.
Unfortunately, many people disregard truth and choose to tear down those boundaries and get involved in sin and disobedience to God's word and leave a legacy to their children (and others that they influence) to follow them down that same, well-worn path to sin. Each generation then continues the same patterns. But each generation has a choice to follow the footsteps that lead to rebellion and the same pain they witnessed in their life, or to rebuild the wall and stay within God's boundaries. We're going to leave a legacy, the choice is ours which one we choose to leave. We are wise when we recognize generational sin that may be present in our own families and take extra precautions in those areas. The evil one just isn't that creative. If your parents or grandparents struggled in an area, you will probably be tested there too. But if you are in Christ, you have the power of the Holy Spirit in you and you can overcome even the biggest temptations. You can be the one to change the legacy in your family and stop the pattern.

Galatians 6:7

Blessings!

Kym

What's Within You?

2011-03-25T14:17:00.004-05:00

Last night we were doing a family bedtime devotional with the kids and somehow got on the topic of how you can use what God has given you to serve Him. Our 8-year-old suddenly blurts out, “I know EXACTLY what I am going to do when I grow up!” “Really?” we ask. “Yes,” he says, “I am going to become a builder so that I can go to Jerusalem and rebuild the temple! Because God says the temple will be rebuilt and I can do that!”
Wow! Big dreams from such a little guy. It reminded me of these verses:

Isaiah 6:8 NIV
“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Nehemiah 2:5 NIV
“and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.”

Do I think my little guy is a modern-day Nehemiah, being called to rebuild the temple? Probably not. But I do know that my God is capable to fulfill His purposes any way He sees fit. I also know (from personal experience) that He is not looking for the most talented, the most skilled, or the most famous person to do His work. He’s looking for hearts that are totally submitted to Him and willing to do what He calls. Hearts that say “Send me.”
One of my greatest desires in my ministry is to see women find their great purpose in life and live the life God truly intended for them. That becomes part of our legacy because living a life of Kingdom purpose is CONTAGIOUS and our kids can’t help but pick it up.

Eph 3:20 NLT

“Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.”

Have you ever felt like there is something great inside you, something that you would never ever dare to ask God for or even hope that it could happen? What keeps you from fulfilling the great purpose that God has for you? Fear? Laziness? Insecurity? Have you lost yourself in feelings of being unimportant, unimpressive or just plain invisible? Have you convinced yourself that where you are right now is not part of your great purpose…or that your current situation is somehow keeping you from that dream, instead of embracing it? Believe me, I NEVER would have imagined that God would have called me to write for, speak to and teach women. If He can use me in that purpose, He can use ANYONE for anything! Not only could I have convinced myself that I was completely ill-equipped for such a task, but I have had a host of really good excuses to try to get out of doing it.
Have you ever considered that God has you exactly where He wants you – right now - so that you CAN discover your great purpose? He wants you to find whatever is “within you” and use it for His glory, today!
So go for it! Dream big! Take that first step toward finding out what God wants to accomplish through you. Brick by brick, you might find that it’s not as difficult as you thought, because His power within you can make it happen.
The question is, are you willing to say, “Here I am Lord, send me?”

It might not be rebuilding the temple, but it might be rebuilding a Godly heritage for your family by creating a legacy for your children that is beyond what you thought you were able to do. And that is something great, indeed.

Blessings to you!

Hello, I'm Distracted

2011-02-15T14:40:00.003-06:00

As moms, we wake up each day and put on a name tag. No, not an actual, visible name tag, and most people may not even notice the name tag we are wearing. But our kids read the name tag loud and clear the minute they see your face. They see by our expressions, the way we listen (or don't listen) and they see it in our attitudes. They see when we are wearing the "Worried" name tag, the "Too Busy" name tag, and the "Quick to Speak, Slow to Listen" one. They know when mom makes a habit of wearing the "Not Now" name tag and when she never takes off the "Unhappy" one.

There are times when each of us will wear these name tags from time-to-time, and for legitimate reasons. In the interest of full disclosure, I've found myself in a very busy season and have several challenges and issues vying for my attention and I have been wearing the "Distracted" name tag a bit too frequently these days. I guess that's why I felt compelled to write this.

However justified we may feel in wearing our inner struggles on our faces, we must be aware how our name tags affect our ability to create a meaningful, trusting relationship with our kids. If we want our kids to tell us the truth, share their lives, and open their hearts to us, we need to make sure that we put on name tags that say "I'm Here", "Patient", "A Soft Place to Fall", "Trustworthy" and "You Matter".

Proverbs 15:13 says, "A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit."

Our heartache can sometimes spill out and crush the spirit of the little lives we are trying to mold also, and a simple change of our heart and face can make a huge difference.

So today, try responding to your children with a big smile and focused attention and eye-contact, even if you are deep in thought and they are coming to tell you a detailed description of the level they just completed on their favorite video game....for the fourth time. The connection you make will be much more valuable than the one minute of time it took to give your child your undivided attention, and your smile and approval will make their day.

Who knows, you might even find yourself wearing a "Greatest Mom in the World" name tag, even if no one sees it but you. You'll know you are wearing it when you see the look of contentment and love on your child's face.

Blessings,

Kym

The Inside Scoop on Gossip

2010-10-02T10:46:00.005-05:00

Someone comes to you and says, “You’re not going to believe what I just heard about so-and-so….” And in the blink of an eye you find yourself caught up right in the middle of it. Gossip. The dirt. The inside scoop. Whatever you call it, we have all done it, we’ve nearly all been hurt by it, and we all know better. Then why is it so hard for us to not do something that the Bible clearly tells us is wrong? Is it because society treats it lightly, even promotes it with entire TV shows and magazines and websites dedicated to it? Is it because it makes us feel good to be “in the know” about someone else? Or is it much deeper, much more personal than we would really like to admit?

I recently taught on this subject and got several requests to blog on it. Although I can’t include everything from that lesson in this post, I’ll try to hit some key points and answer some really tough questions about gossiping so that we can all learn to get a handle on this problem that seems so minor, but can lead to a legacy of sin that we will hand down to our children if we don’t get a handle on it.

There is a big misconception out there that if you are sharing something that is true, then it’s not gossip. Gossip is anything we say that raises questions or doubts about another person or their character. It is conversation that occurs behind someone’s back that puts them in a bad light (even if that was not the intention). And then there’s gossip’s evil twin: slander. Slander is to speak critically of a person with the intent to hurt their character or their reputation

I don’t think we usually begin our day with intentionally gossiping about someone or harming their character on our list of things to get done. Sometimes we have a real concern or compassion or curiosity for a person and/or their circumstances and we convince ourselves, “If I can just get more information about this situation, or if I just share this with someone, we can pray for them or help in some way.”

But, if we are really walking with Christ on a daily basis, you know when your talk has become gossip. You get that tug, that pit-in-the-stomach- feeling from the Holy Spirit that tells you that you have shared too much.

Several years ago I encountered a difficult situation with a person that I disagreed with and felt justified in my opinions. I was speaking at a parenting conference and one of the speakers was teaching techniques and opinions that I whole-heartedly disagreed with and even worse…the speaker wasn’t even a parent! I thought it was outrageous. I couldn’t wait to talk about it with a couple of my friends because I knew they would agree with me that I was right…..it was outrageous what was taught and especially coming from someone with no practical experience. I repeated word for word for my friends what was said, even imitated the inflection and gestures used by this person. Then I got that feeling…that tap on the shoulder….uh oh…I was gossiping.

So, why do we talk about others even when we know gossip is wrong, harmful to us and others and we don’t really want to hurt other people? I think it’s like this: I once forgot that I had left a cast iron skillet in the oven and the oven had been preheating. Without thinking, I just grabbed the handle and burned my hand pretty good. Later that day, as I was taking a shower, I realized that the hot water was burning my hand further. However, it was too hard to use my left and hand and wash my hair with just one hand, so I decided to just go ahead and use my hand even though it was hurting, because it was easier to do what I had always done. That the same thing we do with gossip. It’s hard to change habits or to be the one to stop the conversation, so we just go ahead and do what’s easy if we know we are going to pay for it later. That’s the lie of sin. It seems so minor…or fun….for the short term. Then it turns around and bites you. Habits are hard to break.

We as women are naturally talkers and relationship oriented. (That’s not to say that men don’t gossip too) but we as a whole tend to be characterized by having loose lips from time to time. We are by design social creatures. Many of us desire to be included, to be in groups, to fit in and know what is going on in other people’s lives. These things all create the perfect storm for gossip.

We want to be valued, feel connected and get affirmation from those around us. When you share a certain opinion about someone, you are being vulnerable and laying it on the line. When the other person affirms your opinion and shares their true feelings, there is a “bond” -an intimacy that is formed by sharing a “secret” or knowing “inside” information.

If we are really going to get real about gossip and do something about it, we have to feed that root need behind the gossip in a more productive way.

The question is what is your root need that you are trying to fill with gossip? Is it that your self-esteem is low and you need to feel superior to someone by criticizing them? Is it that you feel left out in a group and want to be “in” the group? Do you just need someone to tell you that your opinions are valid?

Let’s be honest, at times we are all that 12-year-old girl inside that still wants to fit in and be accepted. That girl that needs to be in the “in” group and wonders if people really like her and if they are talking about her and judging her behind her back. And the tactics we used in jr. high to feel like part of the group are sometimes the same old tactics we use now, except that now the stakes are much higher! Now there are careers, marriages, testimonies and church unity that can be damaged by our words. Not to mention our children and our legacy.

So, here are five reasons to avoid gossip:
1. It tears apart homes and families.
Proverbs 14:1
“A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands.”

One of the ways we tear down our own homes and families, as well as other’s families is with our foolish words.

2. It leads to bitterness.

Hebrews 12: 14-15
“Try to live in peace with everyone, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that no bitter root of unbelief rises up among you, for whenever it springs up, many are corrupted by its poison.”

One little comment made about you or made by you about someone else can start a root of bitterness and pain that can grow into weeds that choke out even the closest of relationships.

3. It changes how you perceive other people.

Proverbs 18:8
“What dainty morsels rumors are – but they sink deep into one’s heart.”

Someone asks a leading question like, “Is everything okay between Mark and Susan? I’m really concerned about their marriage.” You’ve had no reason to think anything was wrong….but now you start to wonder.

Even if the gossip you share isn’t a big deal to you, or if what you hear about someone isn’t even true and you know it’s probably just gossip, it plants a seed of doubt in your mind. Your mind is then forever changed about that person. You sometimes then analyze it and make it into something huge in your own mind. Then begins the speculation, the suspicions, and the judgment- all which may be based on hearsay or something that may not even be true.

4. It defiles you.
To be defiled means to be made unclean. It makes you dirty…basically. Jesus, talking to the Pharisees who were all wrapped up in the religious rules about what was clean and unclean to eat, says the following:

Matthew 15: 11-12 and 16-20a

“You are not defiled by what you eat; you are defiled by what you what you say and do. ……Anything you eat passes through the stomach and goes out of the body. But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all others sexual immorality, theft, lying and slander. These are what defile you.”

Slander is right there on the list with murder and adultery as things that defile you. What comes out of our mouths is a reflection of what is going on in our hearts. If the heart is right, the speech will be also

5. It has lasting impact on your circle of influence: your friends, your family and your children.

We are supposed to be discipling our children - that is, leading them and teaching them to follow the Lord. They are our first and most important mission field. I know we would all tell our children not to be gossips or tattle-tales. But we can’t take our children any further than we ourselves are willing to go. We must get this right now - if we don’t, we are creating an open door of generational sin to flow right down to our children. Is that the legacy we want to leave our kids with? Is that how we want to be remembered, “My mom was always on phone with her friends talking about people?” It’s a hard question, but we must take it seriously.

There is no doubt that as women we will fail many times in the area of gossip. We will talk too much from time to time in an effort to deepen our relationships. If we are going to talk though, let’s at least make our words encouraging and beneficial. Let’s commit to use our words to build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Wouldn’t it be great to know that the women in your life have your back no matter what? They aren’t going to slander you, they aren’t going to criticize your weaknesses, and they aren’t going to talk about you to other people? We can do that for each other! As Legacy Moms, we can commit to be women of integrity, women who stand for what is right, and women who have the self-confidence because of who we are in Christ. We don’t need to drag other people down with gossip. We don’t need to gossip to feel more connected and included.

We are all in process of becoming more like Christ by growing in faith and in spiritual maturity. We have all failed. Don’t focus on your own failure and the failure of others. Instead, let’s forgive each other and help each other to grow, improve and move forward from here. Let’s encourage one another to be better moms and better women today than we were yesterday.

Helping Your Kids See the Big Picture of the Bible

2010-09-02T08:49:00.005-05:00

Did you know that if you want your son or daughter to become a teenager with authentic faith that lasts, then he/she first needs to be able to articulate their God-story? I got some great information from my oldest son's pastor at church and I wanted to share it with you (with his permission.) He is reading a book called "Almost Christian" by Kenda Creasy Dean, and in this book they lay out an extensive survey on American teen spirituality, and found that being able to articulate a God-story is one of the keys of having faith that is consequential (meaning it lasts.)

What does is mean to articulate a God-story? I think of it as being able to articulate the big-picture story of what God is doing from creation to the end. Here's how our youth pastor explained it: It ..."means that your son or daughter needs to know a basic understanding of what God has done in history and what direction He is taking us. As Christians our God-story is based on the revelation of Scripture. I know that it is easy to feel inadequate and insecure about teaching the Bible to your children. We are uneasy because we don't really know the story ourselves. The good news is that God doesn't need you to be a Bible scholar or pastor to teach your children well. A simple, clear understanding of the flow of the Bible is what a middle schooler needs to understand. This is something you CAN help them with."

Here is one basic overview of the Bible that may help you develop a God-story of your own:

1. God has created all things (including humans) for His glory and purposes.- Gen. 1-2
2. Humanity rebelled against God, causing a devastating rift in our relationship that leads to death and separation.- Gen. 3
3. In His great love, God chose Abraham and his descendants (Israel) to be His people through whom he would bless and save the world.- Genesis 12-Exodus
4. Israel failed to faithfully serve God and therefore a Messiah was needed to represent Israel and save the world.- Deuteronomy-Malachi
5. Jesus, fully God and fully man, came as the long awaited Messiah who fulfilled God's promises to rescue us from our sin.- the Gospels
6. Jesus established his church, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to continue His work on the earth until His return.- Acts - Jude
7. Jesus will return to earth to judge those on earth, completely destroy Satan and sin, and restore creation to an unhindered relationship with God.- Revelation

I hope this helps you as you lead your son or daughter as you talk about the Bible and Biblical truth and help them to see the "big picture." I have found it helpful with my kids to always take them back to the big picure, then help them understand how the stories and lessons in the Bible fit in that story so they can see that God is working, He is in control, and that we are a part of a bigger plan.

By the way, if you have little kids, I know that Big Ideas just produced a series of dvds called "Whats in the Bible" to help little ones see the big story as well.

(Thanks to Kevin Libick, Middle School Pastor at Christ Chapel Bible Church for allowing me to share his thoughts!)

Blessings,

Kym

PG 13 - Is it really suitable for your teen?

2010-08-21T11:53:00.002-05:00

This issue has really been on my heart this week and I felt led to share my thoughts. My heart breaks when I see children being exposed to things that they are neither spiritually or developmentally ready for, or when they are exposed to just blatant raunchy, rebellious behavior all in the name of "humor." Don't get me wrong, I love comedy and love to laugh, but I am seeing a trend that concerns me. I think that we sometimes get numb to sin when it is presented as humor, and I think we need to be accountable as parents as to what we allow our children to see on TV and in movies. When we tell our kids to obey God's word and to make wise choices based on His word, yet we allow them to see movies that make light of sexual purity, drug use, and present clearly sinful behavior as normal or something to laugh about, we are sending our children mixed messages.

Take, for example, PG-13 movies. Do you assume that because it is rated PG-13 that it is appropriate for anyone over 13? A new movie came out this week that is aimed at teens and is billed as a spoof of the Twilight movies,Vampires Suck. Here's just a part of what is in this PG-13 movie: (from www.pluggedin.com)

Edward shows up in Becca's room at night, ogling and/or cuddling her. After making out with him, Becca strips down to an S&M-style bra and panties. Wielding a whip and other bondage-oriented accoutrements, she throws Edward down, lies on top of him and kisses him passionately. (She's trying to make him "do everything" since they're both virgins. He resists her by breaking a lamp over her head. She responds by saying she likes it rough.) When Edward bites Becca, the act becomes very sexualized as they writhe and groan.

Jacob is portrayed as effeminate and his pack of "wolves" as homosexual dancers. Two men kiss for a prom photo. (Prom is portrayed as a sexual free-for-all.) "Lesbian" is used as an epithet. Becca says that she and Jacob played doctor as children, and that she once gave him a prostate exam. Couples make out. "Humping" and incest are mentioned. Virginity and abstinence are mocked. A girl describes how she still can't ride a bike because she and her lover had such rough sex. A paralyzed man complains that he can't feel his penis. Frank remarks on the size of his daughter's breasts, and he makes disgustingly inappropriate sexual comments to her. He even parades his blow-up sex doll—a running joke—around in her presence. Male and female genitalia are crudely referenced, as are various sex acts. One f-word and at least 15 s-words. God's name is abused about 10 times, twice coupled with "d‑‑n." Christ's name is misused once. Other language includes "h‑‑‑," "b‑‑ch" and "a‑‑." "Blow," "balls" and "douche bag" are also used. A man displays a "single-digit salute."

I saw first-hand similar issues with another teen favorite Dinner for Schmucks. My husband and I actually went to see this one for ourselves and were shocked to see not only young teens, but families coming out of this film, some with kids as young as 8-10 years old.

I wonder how many parents assume that the MPAA has their back, and that if they give a movie a PG-13 rating, that means it's appropriate for everyone 13 and over? Nothing could be further from the truth. The real deal is that teens bring in a huge chunk of money to the movie industry. PG-13 allows movies to be raunchy and rebellious, yet still open to teens and put the responsiblitly on the parents. Here's how the MPAA themselves describe the PG-13 rating: "PG-13 places larger responsibilities on parents for their children's moviegoing. The voluntary rating system is not a surrogate parent, nor should it be. It cannot, and should not, insert itself in family decisions that only parents can, and should, make. Its purpose is to give prescreening advance informational warnings, so that parents can form their own judgments. PG-13 is designed to make these parental decisions easier for films between PG and R." From my point of view, movies that are PG-13 now are overwhelmingly similar to R movies from when we were teens.

Obviously, YOU are the parent of your children, and no one can or should tell you what is best for your kids. But I want to encourage you, as Christian moms, to not make decisions about media without knowing what you are allowing. When we tell our kids that something is wrong, but then we expose them to 100 voices telling them that it is okay, we become one voice in 100 and the majority will win out.

Listen, today's culture is absolutely battling for the hearts and minds of your children. Get your sword and shield and don't be afraid to fight for your kids. Ask questions. Do your homework. Don't make assumptions. Don't be afraid to say "No." Your kids may not understand now, but they will thank you later.

Remember, you are creating a legacy with the decisions you make each and every day and the choices you make now matter. They affect your family now and they affect future generations.

By the way, www.Pluggedin.com is a great resource for parents to review movies, video games and more for content. We use it frequently.

Many Blessings!

Summer Family Event

2010-07-16T13:21:00.001-05:00

Legacy Moms,

Hope you are having a fun summer with your children. I don't know about you, but have I been blessed with so much I take for granted such as being able to take my kids to the movies or go out to eat. Sometimes I feel more entitled to these things then thankful. Jesus tells us to remember "the least of these". Those that are struggling just to provide the basics for themselves and their families this summer.

Legacy Moms wants to provide you an opportunity made easy to serve those in need. On Monday, August 9th we will serve at the Beautiful Feet ministry in FTW from 8:30-1 (www.thefeet.org).

We will help them prepare/serve breakfast and lunch and do whatever "feet jobs" they have that day, like unloading trucks and organizing donations and food. Older children are encouraged to come and serve by your side.

Also, please collect any donation items you could give including food, clothing and toys. You could even have your kids collect things from neighbors. They are especially in need of men's clothing and kits that they pass out to the homeless that include travel size bathroom items.

Anyone is welcome to join us so spread the work and let's bring an army of servants (and train a generation of servant leaders!)

Blessings,

Elizabeth Fowler
Legacy Moms Leadership Team

"If you have done it to the least of these, you have done it unto me." Matthew 25:40

A Word About Loyalty

2010-06-26T15:04:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago my teenage son had to write an essay in which he was asked to describe our family. Here is a portion of what he said:

“I have a very strong relationship with my family. They are loyal to me and love me with all their hearts. My parents keep me safe and help guide me through my day-to-day struggles, and my siblings are loyal to me and are fun to be around.”

What stood out to me was that of all the things he could have said about us, the thing he mentioned about us and his siblings was that we are all loyal to him.
Then last week, as I was driving my seven-year-old home from VBS, I asked him what the lesson was on and he answered, “Loving your family and being there for them.” Of course, I followed up with, “Well, what does that mean to you?” He quickly answered, “Well, if you love your family, you just have their backs no matter what.”

Dictionary.com defines a loyal person as someone who is characterized by or showing faithfulness to commitments, vows, allegiance, obligations, etc.
This got me thinking. How do we develop loyalty as something we value in our families? I think it starts with setting the standard that the people in your family are your teammates, your allies, and making loyalty to one-another a non-negotiable. That means you don’t share confidences or embarrassing stories with others without that person’s permission. You keep commitments you make to them and make them a priority. You take their side and defend them if you can, and if they are in the wrong you help them see it with gentleness and love, while never letting them wonder whose side you are on ultimately. You don’t let things that don’t matter come between your relationship and you support each other and encourage each other in your individuality even if you don’t share the same tastes and interests.

I’m sure my daughter doesn’t enjoy freezing in the stands of countless football games, or spending hours on end in the sun at track meets anymore than he enjoys sitting through hours of a ballet performance…but they do it in support of one-another. Do they always choose to? No. If they could, they would probably choose to go hang out with a friend or do something else, but we as a family have decided that we support each other and cheer each other on no matter what.
We try to tell our kids that friends will come and go, but your family will be your “forever friends” for the rest of your life.

Proverbs 17:17 (NLT) says: “A friend is always loyal,and a brother is born to help in time of need.”

If we want to have healthy families and leave a Godly legacy, I truly believe that loyalty has to be on our radar of things we are working toward. Our homes need to be places where we are free to be ourselves and loved unconditionally without ridicule or fear of being “exposed” to the outside world. If we can’t trust those that we live with, who can we trust? If we raise children in an environment of distrust and betrayal by those closest to them, how can they even truly learn to trust a future spouse, or most-importantly, how will they trust Jesus with their whole life?

Our families are not perfect, and they never will be this side of heaven. But If I had to choose…I’d rather live with a bunch of sinners trying their best to love one-another and have each other’s backs than a bunch of self-seeking disloyal ones any day! And the good news is this: loyalty and trust can be built over time no matter how far off track you have gotten, you just have to make a priority, one day at a time, and before you know it, you will see the fruit of the changes you have made.

Blessings!

Kym

Looking at Lasts

2010-06-02T16:01:00.001-05:00

“Firsts” are a big deal for us moms. We look forward to and celebrate all those “firsts” - first steps, first birthday, first words, first day of school, first lost tooth, etc… But have you ever considered that there will be a “lasts” too? Last time your child will want to be tucked in. The last time your daughter will dress up like a princess. The last time that feisty little boy will ask you to play Legos. The last time your child will be carried to bed? The tough thing about lasts is that there is no ceremony to it, no big anticipation. It just quietly goes away with little notice, until one day you realize it never happened again. Most of the time, the “lasts” happen and we don’t even remember when they happened. We simply notice that the dolls have been put away, the blankie is no longer needed, and the little boy looks like a man. As my children get older, I am painfully aware that even though we have many “firsts” yet to look forward to, the “lasts” are coming more and more frequently.
With this summer in mind, think about the lasts. What if the time your child asks you to swing him is the last time and you want to say no because you are too busy with laundry, but instead you say yes? What if your child asks you to hold her, and even though she is getting really heavy, you stop what you are doing and make the effort , only to realize later it was the last time you got to do that? Would it be worth it? Of course it would! Make your days count and parent with no regrets, and those “lasts” will be a treasured memory instead of something you wish you could do over.
Many Blessings,
Kym

Making Summer Memories That Matter

2010-05-26T10:22:00.005-05:00

I knew a mom once that would enroll her kids in three or four different VBS programs at local churches because she thought it was a fun, easy, free, yet "good" activity to keep her kids busy and teach them about the Bible. I am all for church camp, VBS, etc., but the truth of the matter is, no one has more influence and responsibility for the spiritual training of kids more than the parents. You are the biggest influence in your child's life and when YOU teach them Biblical truth, it reaches their heart in a way nothing else can.

Maybe you don't feel equipped or that you know enough about the Bible to teach it to your kids. Get an age-appropriate devotional at your local Christian bookstore (or order one through our Legacy Moms Amazon affiliate store and then you help support us too!) and spend a few minutes each day this summer working through it. You'll be surprised at how much YOU learn too!

One book that I would recommend for everyone regardless of your Biblical knowledge is Parents Guide To The Spiritual Growth of Children: Helping Your Child Develop a Personal Faith. It is a jam-packed guide with everything you need broken down by age group, with topics to cover, activities to do, tips for parents, etc.

Doing something like this might take 10-20 minutes a day. Imagine what could happen in your family this summer if you devoted 10-20 minutes a day x 100 days of summer to the spiritual development of your family? That would equal approximately 25 hours invested in the eternity of your child! And it costs you next to nothing.

Here's another "fringe" benefit: this type of focused attention between you and your children will actually fill their emotional cup and create bonds between siblings as they talk about different issues, pray together and spend quality time with you where they are getting your undivided attention. You'll be surprised how it reduces the nagging, clingy, needy behavior some kids show when their need for your attention is filled in a positive way and they know they can count on it each day.

Many blessings to you for a productive and meaningful summer. Keep following us on Facebook and Twitter for more summer tips. Longer ones will be posted as blogs, shorter ones just as updates.

Kym

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-07T14:37:00.002-05:00

I wrote this to our Legacy Moms back in in 2008 or 2007, but so many new moms have joined us that I decided to post it for all of you for Mothers Day:

Being a mom can be the most fulfilling and rewarding experience we as women will ever have. However, we all know that there are times when it is challenging, disappointing and there are times when it feels like the loneliest and most thankless job in the world. As I was trying to decide what I wanted to say to each of you this Mother's Day, I wondered what Jesus would say to me and to you if we were to talk to him about being a mom. So humor me here, but this is what I imagined Him saying:

"My beloved, I have loved you since the day you were formed in your own mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13-16) I have watched you grow and mature and become a mother yourself. Remember that time you looked at your baby and your heart filled with so much love that you thought it might burst? I was there, and I feel that way about you. (John 15: 9-17 )Remember that moment when your child did something that you knew was so amazing, but you dared not share with anyone because you knew that no one could really understand how great this small accomplishment really was? I was there, and I rejoiced with you. I also rejoice over your accomplishments great and small. (Luke 15:8-10) Remember the time your heart was broken because your child was disappointed and hurt and you couldn't give them what they needed? My heart broke too, but you both remain in the palm of My hand.
(Rom. 8:28) Remember when you worried that you weren't doing enough, that you aren't a good enough mother, and that you have "messed up" ? Well, I chose you to be the mother of your child for a reason. (Psalm 127:3) Please come to Me and listen to Me and I will show you the way. (John 10:3-10) Remember the time you cried alone in your room about the problem that seemed too much to bear? I was there to wipe your tears and comfort you. All you have to do is ask. (Matt. 7:7) I know this journey can be hard, confusing and wonderful all at the same time. I know that you think no one understands. I do, and I am molding you to be the person I created you to be. (Phil 1:6) Trust Me, walk with Me, and I will hold your hand and lead you to the blessings I have in store for you. Beloved, I have much in store for you if you will just follow ME, and lead your children to Me as well."

"Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her saying: Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all." - Proverbs 31:28,29

Happy Mothers Day, from all of us at Legacy Moms.
We pray for each and every one of you!

Love, The LM Leadership Team

Why?

2010-04-07T20:30:00.002-05:00

A weird thing happened to me today. I found out that an organization that has nothing to do with us, Christian ministry or parenting had created a website using our name and a welcome video using our stated purposes, requesting that you give your name and e-mail address to join the “Legacy Moms Movement.” Well, I’m still not sure what their real intent was in this, but needless to say since Legacy Moms® is a registered trademark, those things have all been removed from the internet.

This got me thinking today about why some people will do things that they clearly know are illegal, unethical, immoral, or deceptive, just until they get caught. My guess is that when you have no moral compass or framework to judge right and wrong, then it is easy to think that the ends justify the means and that rules, laws and boundaries only matter when someone enforces them. The question is, how can we; as moms, teach our children to do the right thing-just because it is the right and moral thing, whether or not anyone would ever find out or not?

I believe the answer is in the way we present rules, boundaries and consequences. If we tell our kids what to do and what not to do, and imply that the only reason we obey rules is to avoid to consequences, then we are raising kids that can act moral when they need to, but don’t really have morals in their heart. This leads to adults who only stay within boundaries and laws when there is a risk of getting caught, and spend a lot of time finding ways to sneak around and hide their actions and choices. It also leads to the false belief that whatever pleasure or benefit comes from the choice is worth the consequence if and when it comes.

The remedy for this is to know why we do certain things, and why we don’t do other things in light of God’s Word because He is God and His Word is Truth. There is an absolute standard of right and wrong and it is found in the Bible. If we do the right thing because we love Him and have a personal relationship with Him, because we want to honor Him, and because we know that the boundaries of right and wrong laid out in the Bible are there for our own good, then we more often make moral decisions that hold others in high esteem and show personal dignity and responsibility. It’s not to avoid consequences, it’s because it sets us apart as believers. It’s all in the “why.”

By the way, if you happened to go to a site that you thought was us, and it sounded like us and what we are all about, yet required you to give your information to join, please let us know, especially if you are contacted for any reason.

Genesis 50:20 (New Living Translation)
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good."

Blessings!

Easter activity that creates memories!

2010-04-01T07:58:00.005-05:00

If you have young children or grandchildren, this is a simple yet meaningful activity to do with them that really helps them grasp the true meaning of Easter. We will be doing this with our kids on Saturday night, hope you will too!

You will make these cookies and explain each part the night before Easter.

You need the following:

1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 cup sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon
tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300 degrees (this is important-don’t wait until you’re half done with the recipe!)

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces.
Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life.
Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl.
Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar.
Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isa. 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. Read Matt. 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.
Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.
Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed. Read Matt. 27:65-66.

GO TO BED!
Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter, Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matt. 28:1-9

Have a blessed Easter!

Martha, Martha!

2010-03-22T12:11:00.004-05:00

My brother used to teasingly call me “Martha Stewart” when we were younger. I wish I could say it was because I am a wonderful cook, a brilliant hostess, keep a perfectly clean and organized home, and an artistically gifted decorator, but that wasn’t it. Actually it was because I can be a bit of a perfectionist, a “jack of all trades, master of none” and a Martha Stewart Wannabe in all things domestic.

Not long ago, as I was busy with all I needed to get done for the day, feeling quite proud of myself for how productive I had been and all that I was getting done, you know…doing my “Martha” routine…I walked into my teenage son’s room to clean it up and got in a huff. “Look at this mess!” I thought to myself. It wasn’t really that bad, his bed was made, but wrinkly, there were books and things on his bed, it was just “cluttered.” I thought to myself, “If you are going to make your bed, at least do it right, and why lay stuff on top of it after it is made?” (See, I told you I can be a bit picky!)

So, as I began to vacuum all the little “paper pieces” that fly out when you rip paper out of a spiral notebook, (a mom definitely did not invent spiral notebooks!) I closed his bedroom door so I could vacuum behind it and noticed a post-it note on the back of the door. It read “Do your quiet time” and it was in my son’s handwriting.
Suddenly, the story of Mary and Martha in The Bible came flooding into my heart and mind. Here’s how it reads in The Message:

“As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Master, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand." The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her.” Luke 10:38-42

After reading his reminder on his door, I took a closer look at the “mess” on his bed. I then saw it was his Bible and daily devotional he got from Kanakuk, which quickly made me realize that in my hurry to get things “done” that day, I had not taken time out to read The Word or pray....but my son had, even if it meant he had to quickly make his bed before school. Martha indeed! No Martha Stewart here…but another kind of Martha for sure. He made time for the most important thing, while I was all worked up and missing out on time sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Don’t you love it when God uses your kids to speak to you and gently rebuke you when you are wrong?! I do! My hope is that I can change my legacy - not to be a “Martha Stewart Wannabe” and not to be “Martha” at all. I hope my legacy is that I was most like Mary.

God Bless!

Can a family change in just one month?

2010-02-23T13:18:00.006-06:00

Do you believe in the power of prayer? What do you think would happen if we humbly approached the throne of God for 31 days straight on behalf of our children in order to bring about Godly character in their lives? I think we might see amazing things happening in our families and our communities. Join us as Legacy Moms all over the country embark on a powerful month of prayer for our children in the month of March. Here's how it will work: through our Facebook Fan Page, each day in March we will send out a specific character quality with verses for you to pray for your children following a program developed by Bob Hostettler. Just make sure to check each day for the update. (Become a fan at www.facebook.com/LegacyMoms )

Can you imagine all of us praying about, focusing on, and discussing with our children the same thing on the same day? WOW! If you are not already, make sure to become a fan on Facebook so you can join us. And make sure to "suggest to friends," share the links on your own page and see how many moms we can lock arms with in prayer and witness the radical transformation of our families that can only come through prayer.

Are you ready? Well, here's a few tips. First of all, it's great to silently pray each day for your children, but consider also saying the prayer with your children and let them in on what you are asking God for in their life. Discuss each quality, point it out when you see it, and help them understand what it would like in your family. (For example, on the day we pray for responsibility...use the verses and the prayer to open up a dialogue about what that would look like in practical terms in their life.) Also, keep in mind that you can not expect God to take your children any further than you yourself are willing to go. ( Ouch...I know! ) But, if we are going to pray for our children to possess Godly character, we must be showing it in our own lives. So start praying now and ask God to convict you and show you where you have fallen short and ask Him through his grace and mercy to mold you into the Legacy Mom He created you to be....passing a truly Godly legacy to your family through your thoughts, your words and your actions.

We can't wait to hear how God moves in your family. Write on our wall on the Facebook page or send us an e-mail and let us know about the victories big and small!

Blessings,

Kym

Special Announcement for DFW Legacy Moms!

2010-02-16T13:30:00.002-06:00

Covenant Christian Academy in Colleyville, Texas is hosting a Live Via Satellite Event with Beth Moore entitled "So Long, Insecurity" on Saturday, April 24th from 9 am to 3 pm. Tickets are $25 each (includes lunch) but one lucky (blessed!) winner at this month's Legacy Moms is going to win 2 free tickets courtesy of Covenant Christian Academy! Make sure you are there for your chance to win! (We will have a limited amount of tickets for purchase there if you don't win.) To purchase tickets online or to get more detailed info click here www.ccanet.org/beth-moore-so-long-insecurity-simulcast-event/

I will be there, along with lots of other Legacy Moms, and I hope you can join us for this fun day of fellowship. I hope to see you Monday and I hope YOU win!!! : ) See our events page on Facebook or our website for info on this month's topic.

Blessings,

Kym

Ink Commitments

2010-01-06T16:43:00.005-06:00

We are blessed with one of the most talented teams I think any organization could have. One of those incredible leaders, Elizabeth Fowler (those are her adorable kids) , wrote this and I couldn't wait to share it with you. I pray it helps you think about the commitments you make this year and which of those things will really impact your family in a positive way:

"I ordered my 2010 calendar online so it could be just like I like it: Month-at-a-glance with space on the side to make notes. Now it's time to go back through last year's calendar and transfer important dates to remember like birthdays, anniversaries, and hopefully schedule a vacation! Some things go on the calendar with pencil (like gym classes) but some go in ink. Legacy Moms is one of those ink commitments and I'd like to share why.

In Ezekiel 3:17 God tells Ezekiel, "I have made you watchman for the house of Israel." I believe God has made me a watchman over the house of Fowler and also, in a sense, a watchman over my children's hearts.

My #1 goal as a parent is to raise Godly children, but is so easy to lose sight of that goal in the busyness of day to day life. And what do "Godly children" look like anyway? Legacy Moms keeps me focused on my goal and gives me the tools to define what godliness looks like in my children and in my parenting.

Over my years with my legacy friends, I have learned things like what to do instead of counting to three to have my children obey me, how to establish healthy sleep patterns for my baby, how to encourage my children to become each other's best friend, how not to "carry the rock" but parent WITH my husband with him as the leader of our home, detailed advice about how and when to tell my children about sex, how to make summers memorable and fun for my children (and me!), how to teach them to make wise choices and how to make it right when they sin, just to name some of the material we have covered.

No question or topic has ever been off-limits. We have shared our struggles, hurts and disappointments. When I have been at my lowest parenting low, I have turned to Kym and/or another Legacy Mom for comfort and advice. My Legacy friends have also been there to celebrate the highest highs. I truly feel we are on the parenting journey together.

As you consider the mom role that God has given you and you look to the year ahead, I pray you will make an "ink commitment" to Legacy Moms and join me on the last Monday night of every month a time of re-focusing and encouragement. Together we will strive to be good and faithful watchmen over our children's hearts and raise Godly children.

Elizabeth Fowler

Thanks, Elizabeth, for sharing your heart with us. Did this inspire and motivate you?! It did me! I love getting to parent with a "villiage" of other Christian moms to support and encourage me! Join us this month, on January 25th at 7 pm as we talk about teaching our children to have forgiving spirits. We will look at the difference between "I'm sorry" and "Will you forgive me" and what it really means to forgive someone and get past hurt and resentment and revenge. Those patterns begin early in childhood and can rip a family apart. Forgiveness is the key to a life of peace. Join us and find out how to bring some PEACE to your home!

Your Feet are Beautiful......

2009-12-19T10:00:00.008-06:00

We had an incredible time last night delivering gifts and groceries to needy families in Fort Worth in partnership with Beautiful Feet Ministries. We were all moved and I think our children were impacted forever by seeing God work and what it means to truly be the hands and feet of Christ. Here's what one mom had to say about the night:

Kym-

All I can say is that I'm speechless tonight and SO THANKFUL we were able to participate in delivery - loved that God worked that out for us. It was a huge perspective check for our family, one that left us in tears. We so live in a bubble - and it's time to get out more and help people who REALLY need it. I think what blessed us most was to hear them talking about how good God is. I asked if I could pray for them and they said "yes, of course!" and then we all held hands. The son of the grandmother we were there for said, "Now I would like to pray for your family." My prayer sounded like a baby Christian compared to his- his faith was strong and you could tell he had experienced more things than I could even fathom with the Lord. Then, I was moved by the prayers my children prayed in the car on the way home for that family. Count us in for next year! And please let us know if you do anything in between.

Another mom recounts her experience like this:

My family was able to engage with 4 families and they were so thankful for the few things we gave them. One though, has my heart. She is about my age and has three teenage kids, and is deaf. She was home alone and I signed a little to her and my kids signed and sang 'Jesus Loves Me." We embraced several times and sobbed together. In her deaf language she said in my ear "best Christmas ever." She kept hugging me and my kids. I found some paper and wrote "what do you need?" and she wrote "clothes for my kids." I am going to see if I can take her and grant her that wish sometime this week.

I hope that inspires you and your family to get out of your "bubble" and share the love of Christ with others. There's no better Christmas gift you could give, and that's a legacy that will last for generations.

Isaiah 52: 7 says, "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation."

Merry Christmas to all of you! I am blessed by all you do for your families and your communities. Thank you for being a legacy mom.

Kym

Two Gifts for the Price of One!

2009-12-08T11:06:00.003-06:00

I have a favor to ask of you. If you believe in what we do at Legacy Moms, there is something that you can do to help us continue our ministry and it won't cost you a dime! As you are doing your Christmas shopping, would you consider buying at least one gift online through our Amazon Affiliate store? It is super-easy and for every item you purchase, Amazon gives Legacy Moms a referral fee! Here's how it works: simply go to our store at www.legacymoms.org/pages/store.html and you will see at the top of the page some "featured products" which are some books we recommend. Scroll down a bit and you will see a search box that says "search Amazon" with the words "Beth Moore" in the box (as an example of something you might search). Just type in whatever it is you are looking for; maybe it is something broad like "bikes" or something specific like "Mario Kart Wii game". That's it! Think of our page as a "doorway" into all of the hundreds of Amazon stores. Once you go through our door, we get a referral fee for anything you purchase! You can find books, toys, electronics, perfume, appliances...just about anything! You buy a gift for a loved one and give a gift to Legacy Moms at the same time. It's like getting two gifts for the price of one! Please tell your friends and family as well and help us continue our ministry to moms!

Thanks so much and have a very Merry Christmas!

Kym

Teaching the true meaning of Christmas

2009-10-31T12:59:00.002-05:00

In Matthew 24:40, Jesus said, "'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

At Legacy Moms, we believe that one of the best ways we can leave a Godly legacy is by serving others and putting our faith into action, and by doing so, teaching our children to follow our example. That's why this year, Legacy Moms is partnering with Beautiful Feet Ministries in Fort Worth to provide Christmas presents, coats, and other items for needy families who otherwise would not be having much of a Christmas. This is a hands-on opportunity for your family to serve a family in need and actually deliver the gifts yourself, and meet and minister to the family you are helping. If you are not available to that, you can still adopt a family and purchase and wrap the gifts, and someone else will deliver them to the family. If you are not familiar with Beautiful Feet, it is a place where the homeless and needy people in the inner city can get food, clothing, shelter and be taught the word of God. My family has served there and fed the homeless the past couple of years, and it is a wonderful organization. You can check out their website at www.thefeet.org . We will be meeting at Beautiful Feet on Friday, Dec. 18 where they will give you a map to the home you have selected, and a they will give you a box of food items for that family's Christmas dinner...you just bring the gifts! We have already gotten 17 families adopted by Legacy Moms just like you, but there are many, many more that need gifts. Please contact me at kym@legacymoms.org and let me know if you would like to join us, and I will work with you to select a family for you adopt and get you more detailed information!

Many blessings to you and your sweet family,

Kym

Journal Questions for Gratitude

2009-10-28T08:12:00.004-05:00

At our last meeting, we talked about how you can begin to harvest gratitude in the heart of your family, even in the midst of difficult times. One of our points was that we need to remember (literally, make a "memorial") of the stories that inspire us to feel gratitude to God. We all have those "God" moments; times when we feel so blessed by something small but meaningful to us, or that answered prayer, or that time that God intervened in our life in a miraculous way, yet many times we forget those moments quickly and can become just like the Israelites wandering around and complaining in our daily life. We need to write those "gratitude" stories down, go back to them when our faith is shaky, and share those stories with our children.
For our journaling time, I gave a list of questions to help you remember some of your own stories, and I promised to post them to here. So here they are:

What “little moment” happened today with your kids that you need to remember forever?
When do you feel the most complete and secure?
What childhood memory still makes you smile today?
When did you experience so much love and joy that you thought your heart would burst?
What did God provide for you that you thought was impossible?
What “thing” did you mistakenly believe would bring you happiness, and how did God give you more than you knew to ask for?
What lesson did you learn the hard way – but glad you did?
What heartache turned out to be a blessing in disguise?

“You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!
I will sing for joy because of what you have done.” Psalm 92:4

Encouraging Good Character in a Meaningful Way

2009-10-08T13:25:00.004-05:00

Do you consider yourself to be a "good-finder?" You know, a "good-finder" is the kind of mom who looks for the things that her kids are doing well and offers praise and a word of encouragement. Well, that can be easier said than done (especially if you have toddlers or teens!) Many times, we as moms spend much of our time noticing the wrong things our kids are doing, figuring out how to fix the problem, or at the very least to suppress the negative behavior and attitudes. Of course, one of our duties as moms is to correct and train our children when they are wrong, but how often we forget that one of the best ways to do that is by ENCOURAGING the right behavior and attitudes! And when we find creative and meaningful ways to encourage good character, that's when we really make impact and touch our child's heart.

Here is a story from one of our team members, Jenny Hickl, that I think you'll enjoy:

For several years my family raised chickens in the backyard. Their antics were a great source of entertainment as they learned to catch bugs, established their pecking order and spread their wings to try and fly (the longest recorded flight of a chicken is 10 ft). We always named the chicks. There was Speedy who wasn’t all that fast, Robin who turned out to be a rooster and, much to our chagrin, learned how to crow a 5 weeks, Star, Sparkle, Chick – you get the idea.
Our job was to watch over the young chickens for a couple of months until they were old enough to go to a friend’s farm. Of all of the chickens that passed through our hands, none of them captured our affections quite like Buttercup. Buttercup was a dark golden hen with black laced feathers. She followed us around the yard and my youngest daughter even taught her to sit on our shoulders like a parrot. When it was time for that batch of chicks to go to the farm, we were all a little down.
A few months later, I came across a ceramic chicken that resembled Buttercup. Thinking to amuse my children, I brought it home. They loved it. Now, when one of the kids shows remarkable character, “Buttercup” turns up in their room with a note of congratulations. It is the highest award anyone in our home can earn and is highly coveted.

There are several aspects of the Hickls' "Buttercup Award" that has made it successful for their family:
1. It is personal – Born out of an experience unique to their family. This particular award means something to only the people in their family; so there is a fun "insiders" quality to it. It builds a "team mentality" in your family.
2. It is meaningful – Not overused so when someone receives it, it is a big deal!
3. It is specific – The award is given for a specific action or attitude with a note explaining and congratulating them for what they have done.
4. It was inexpensive – The ceramic chicken only cost Jenny a mere $6.88, but the meaning behind it is priceless!

So how about a character award in your family? I would encourage you to be creative and think of your own "unique" award that you can use to recognize and celebrate your children when they go above-and-beyond. Let us know what you come up with!

Thanks Hickl family, for letting us "in" on your special family tradition! I have a feeling your example will inspire many families to be "good-finders" more often! ; ) You all deserve a "Buttercup!"

God Bless,

Kym

The Cure for Truth Decay

2009-09-17T10:59:00.003-05:00

As our children enter another year of school, one of the many concerns on a mom's mind is, "Will my child be influenced by the wrong crowd? Will he be able to stand up for his faith in the midst of temptation?" What it really comes down to is, "Have I instilled in my children enough Biblical truth, that they can discern truth from a lie, and make good choices based on what they believe?"

The fact is, we are living in a world of rampant truth decay. We can spend years trying to instill Biblical truth and morality into our children, but the fact of the matter is that as our children get older, they are going to get mixed-messages about truth, The Bible, what scripture actually says, and salvation, that can confuse them and make them just another statistic.

Several years ago, I read a study by the Barna Group that revealed that 83% of teenagers say that moral truth is based on circumstances, 53% said they believe Jesus sinned when he was on earth, and 61% said that they believe you can get to heaven by being a good person. Even more shocking is that only 9% of teens who said they were Christians said they believe there are moral absolutes. How can this be? And what, if anything, can we as moms do to prevent this?

It starts by teaching our children a Biblical worldview from an early age. What does that mean? It means that God's word is not just for Sunday, and it's not just some stories about people that lived a long time ago. God's word applies to every area of our life, and it applies as much today as it did a hundred years ago. God's word is Truth, and there are moral absolutes and the lines between right and wrong are there for us in scripture. We need to know scripture and use it as a filter through which we pass everything to see if it measures up or not.

We must teach our kids to understand that they are going to be told things by the media, peers, maybe even teachers, or (God forbid) people in authority over them that do not line-up with scripture, and to be ready for it. Keep in mind that not all teachers are in classrooms and not all preachers stand in front of congregations. I challenge you to sit down and watch a couple of hours of some of your child's favorite TV shows and the commercials in-between. Listen to the music they listen to. How many times is a message taught or implied that is contrary to scripture? You might be surprised. It might be subtle, but how many times a day is your child hearing this? At some point, if we bombard our children with mixed messages, those messages are going to drown out truth, and by allowing so much exposure to those things, you (by default) are implying approval.

As Christian moms, lets make sure we are part of the solution and not part of the problem. The cure for truth decay is to make sure that we are teaching our children sound, solid, Biblical truth, and that we teach them and model for them how to live that truth out in day-to-day life. We can't isolate our children, but we MUST insulate them until a time they have the ability to correctly discern biblical truth from a lie. Then we teach them to be discerning consumers and be in God's Word, and to not just be hearers of word, but doers.

Finally, lets not forget the power of prayer! God promises that He will equip us to do what He has called us to do. Ask Him, and He will show you how to raise your child in a way that honors Him.

Blessings,

Kym

Space and Grace for Father's Day

2009-06-19T15:25:00.007-05:00

I recently watched a couple of re-runs of "John and Kate Plus Eight" for the first time. Yes, I know, I am way behind. I know this show has been around for years, but with all the hype I thought I would check out a few episodes and see what all the fuss was about. (By the way, this blog post is not a commentary on the current controversy surrounding them.) What struck me was the condescending and "mothery" way that she talked to her husband in both episodes I watched. This is no judgement of her, because quite frankly, I can't imagine how snappy and irritable I would be after chasing eight kids around everyday. But it did make me wonder how often I get into my "mommy-mode" and talk to my own husband like he is a child. I think we are all guilty of it from time to time. We get so used to telling little people what to do all day, that we become "Queen of the Household" and demand (either in word or in attitude) that everything within the home and regarding childcare be done EXACTLY as "The Queen" wants it. Then we treat our husbands like they are fools if they dare do something in a way that we deem as "wrong."

Let me give some examples that may look familiar to you. Wife changes the kids clothes after he dresses them because their clothes don't match. Moms sighs loudly and/or rolls her eyes when he tries to feed the baby because he isn't doing it right. Husband does the laundry and wife complains that he mixed the colors or got fuzz from the towels all over her favorite black shirt.

When Sam and I were newlyweds, almost every time he made the bed, I would go back and "fix it" so that it looked "right." I wanted the comforter smooth, and the decorative pillows set in just the right order, and when he made the bed, he didn't make it look the way I did, so I would go in after him and re-do it. You know what happened? He quit making the bed! In his mind, why bother if I was going to re-do anyway? And I can tell you that he hasn't made our bed in about 13 years! If I don't make it, it doesn't get made!

When we get in mommy-mode with our husbands, I truly believe we are setting ourselves up for trouble. We get into a cycle that can ruin a marriage. When the wife constantly criticizes or “corrects” the husband’s’ efforts around the house, he will simply quit trying. He will just withdraw and quit doing things to help. Then, the wife slowly starts to resent her husband because she is doing everything. She may think to her herself, “How can he just sit there and watch ESPN while I do everything!” The wife then over time starts to lose respect for her husband, and once that is gone, romance and intimacy seem to fall apart also. The wife may think, “Yeah, like I’m going to meet your needs tonight after you haven’t done one thing to help me today!” She may even feel that she is no longer even attracted to her husband, which would be normal since she is acting more like his mother than his wife.
At that point, when a man isn’t getting his intimacy needs met, he is even less motivated to help his wife and so the cycle just continues. Psychologists say that when spouses get into a "parent-child" relationship, it is headed for disaster because the "child" will eventually rebel and leave (either emotionally or physically.)
I just don't think God intended for us as women to treat our husbands like they are children. Isn't it amazing that some men can run companies, manage difficult situations, and make life-and-death decisions at work, but at home they can't remember where the bowls go, how to change a diaper, or how to cut the kids' sandwiches the way they like it? Is it possible we have created this with our micro-managing and nagging?

I wish I could say that I learned my lesson from the bed-making incident and that I have never corrected my husband again. But sadly, I too fail in this area. However, I am trying to do better. Here is proof:

I stood by and bit my tongue when my husband dressed our then 5-year old daughter Jordan in Capri pants and short boots. I wanted to tell him that she looked ridiculous but I resisted the urge.

I once thanked him for helping me fold the laundry even though the towels were folded too big to fit in our little cabinet. I wondered if he ever noticed the way I fold the towels, but I just crammed them in the way they were and figured he’d notice when he went to get a towel. Later he said, “Hey, sorry I didn’t do the towels right.” I just smiled and said, “that’s okay.”

I have repeatedly over the years walked in the kitchen in the morning to find dirty bowls or plates filled with water and just sitting in the sink. Sam’s theory is that if it is full of water it will be easier for me to get the food off. My theory is that just rinsing the food out would take just as much time and not be so gross the next morning. But, I have learned to appreciate that it at least made it to the sink. It could be sitting there with dried food. (However, in the interest of full disclosure, this area is still one that I struggle with "commenting on" from time-to-time!)

I have witnessed him take off a pair of jeans that he has decided aren’t dirty and throw them in the top of his closet or drape them on something in our room. Sometimes those jeans stay there for several days. (I call this his "clothes purgatory" because it is an area where they are too clean to put in the hamper, but too dirty to hang back up.) Sometimes this happens with multiple jeans but I don’t nag because I know that he will either decide to wear them, hang them up, or he will run out of clean jeans before laundry day. When that happens, he then remembers to put them in the hamper if he wants them washed.

So, for Father's Day, I am thinking that maybe we should all give our husbands a little space to do things their own way, and grace if they fail to do it right. Who knows? Maybe all this space and grace will give him the freedom to actually become the Dad God intended him to be, and you might just realize that you do have a partner you can respect and trust! So when I see you around town and your kids look like ragamuffins, it's okay! I'll know what happened.

God Bless,

Kym

The Best Summer Ever!

2009-04-30T11:25:00.007-05:00

I hear it every year around this time. Moms declaring, “Man, this time of year is sooooo busy! I can’t wait for summer!” Then five minutes later they mention all the stuff they are planning to keep their kids busy in over the summer because they fear having their kids home all day for three months! (“Gasp…what would we do all day???) They mention everything from sports camps, art lessons, season passes to water parks, etc.. I even know one mom that would enroll her kids in 4 or 5 different churches’ VBS programs so that her kids would be occupied for a month or so!

We live in a busy society…and there are lots of “good” things out there for us and for our kids to do. There will always be better classes available , better teams to compete on, more birthday parties to attend, ministries to do, camps to attend, social activities to schedule, etc. (And we wonder why moms seems so tired and burnt out these days.) The point is, these are all good things, but sometimes we have to learn when to say “no” for the sake of our family. I also know that a lot of moms are worried about this summer in particular because their budgets are tight and they can’t fill their days with all the activities that they usually do.

Here’s the good news: you can have the “best summer ever” without spending a lot of money, and without scheduling a lot of camps and classes. This summer, instead of planning to fill our children’s days, let’s focus on filling their HEARTS instead! How do we do that? Well, first figure out what your goal really is. Does your schedule reflect your goal? If your ultimate goal is to raise, healthy, happy children who Love the Lord and know how to love and serve others, then the place to start this training is in a healthy, Christian home. This is their first classroom, and the Bible is the textbook and we as parents are their teachers. Building a healthy family is not a one semester course, it is something that requires, time, patience, repetition and on-going practice. Many parents think that if they are sending their kids to Christian camps and church activities that they have done their part in filling their child's heart. These things are GREAT and should definitely support what you are trying to accomplish. But the fact is, you as the mom are one of the most influential teachers your child will ever have. Summer is the perfect time for you to invest in your children and work on your relationship with them and building a strong family unit.

So let me share with you just a couple of quick suggestions that can get your summer off to a great start. These suggestions will help provide the links that bond you together and create memories in the minds of your child that reaffirms who they are and that they have value to the rest of the family, fill their hearts, and create lasting memories.

1. Plan FAMILY activities as a family. Bring everyone together not only for the activity, but for the planning of the activity as well. Ask your children to list out some things that they would really like to do as a family this summer. You might be surprised at their answers. Sure, they might say, “Take a trip to Disneyworld,” but they might mention things like flying a kite together, going on a picnic, having a silly-string fight, etc.. Make a list of these things and try to do as many of them that you can. When your children look back at their childhood, they will remember very little about the day-to-day routine…..the meals they ate, what they wore, the chores they did, the classes they took, the friends they had over, but they will remember those special family times.
One hint: these activities need to be planned in advance and placed on the calendar. If you are like us, if you don’t set aside time to spend together as a family doing something fun, the summer seems to get filled-up with other stuff and then you wonder where the time has gone. Keep in mind that although it is fun to invite other families or friends, it is very important that your family have time just alone with each other.

2. Plan dates between a parent and child. Make sure it is something fun and that the conversation is positive. Use the time to reaffirm your love for them and point out the strengths you see in their character. Do not use the time to discuss problems. It doesn't have to be anything expensive. In fact, your child will relish the uninterrupted time with you more than the actual activity.
3. Find ways to inject humor into your daily routine. Loosen-up and find ways to find the humor even in the mundane things. Tell your kids jokes, draw funny pictures, have a pillow fight, or just be silly.
4. Serve others as a family. Have your kids help you prepare and deliver a meal for someone, clean up the playroom after being at a friend’s house without anyone knowing your are doing it, gathering items for charity. I like to challenge my kids to find one “secret” thing that they can do to serve their siblings. They might make another’s bed, do a chore for them, or write them an encouraging note. This goes a long way in creating strong sibling relationships.
5. Play board or card games with your kids. Take turns choosing which game to play.
6. Continue to have bedtime routines even as your kids enter the teen years. Don’t let the loosened schedule of summer days take away from the special moments that happen at bedtime. We like to gather as a family and have a family devotional. Sometimes the older kids like to lead it as well.
7. Share family photos and memorabilia with your children. They love to hear stories from the past and research shows that when your share family history with your kids it strengthens the bond between family members. Tell them stories about when you were a kid and what you like to do.
8. Make family mealtimes a time to share. Encourage your kids to share their feelings, opinions, etc.… We love to give a question and have everyone go around and share. For example, “Everyone take a turn and tell me what you love about Daddy.”
9. Take walks together. This is a great time for conversation and planting seeds of truth in their hearts because you have their focus, especially when teaching boys! (I think boys listen better when they are moving.)

10. Read an exciting book together as a family. It doesn't have to take long, but a few pages a day and you can finish a great classic book by the end of the summer.

11. Encourage everyone to share age-appropriate prayer requests and pray for them as a family. This is also a great way to teach them early the difference between a prayer request and idle gossip. Develop a “team” concept when it comes to teaching these character traits by using your last name. We say, “Carters don’t gossip, Carters try to find ways to serve others,” etc.. This inspires your children to be a part of the team.

God gave us the gift of family and we should cherish it and treat it as a precious thing. God designed the family to be a place that is nurturing, a place for training, and place for each member to express unconditional love to the others. Before we can effectively reach out and serve others as Christ commands, we must first learn to minister to the people in our own home. By doing that, we can influence many generations to come. We have such a small window of time to invest in our children. My prayer is that you will embrace your role as "Mommy" and see it as a calling and a privilege instead of something to endure. I hope that next fall your kids' hearts are so full and your family is so strong that they will say, “I HAD THE BEST SUMMER, EVER!”

Many blessings to you and your family!

Get to know a real Legacy Mom...Tricia York

2009-02-22T19:49:00.006-06:00

This installment of "Get to Know" is a little different from those in the past. There is someone on our team that I want you to know because she encompasses everything that we are called to be as Christian wives and mothers. If you have ever sat at Tricia York's table at Legacy Moms, then you know her for her infectious laugh, her amazing wit and sense of humor, and a beauty and joy that shines from the inside-out. Well, as you may have heard, Tricia is facing the biggest trial of her life right now. Her beloved husband, Jimmy, went home to be with the Lord just a few short weeks ago. Jimmy was the Married Life Pastor at Fellowship Church, and was a loved and respected husband, father, friend, pastor and mentor. In these past few weeks, I have seen a strength of character in Tricia that I have never witnessed before in anyone....ever. I told Sam the other day that I want to be just like Tricia York when I grow up, because as a 31-year-old widow with two small children, she has her priorities straight and has taught me what it means to trust in the Lord, not just when it is easy, but when nothing makes sense. As a leadership team at Legacy Moms, we are pulling together to love on her and to try to collect funds to ease some financial burden from her. Many of you have asked how you can help. A fund has been set up to help Tricia and her boys, and if you feel led, I would encourage you to donate to that fund. Here is the info:

Jimmy York Memorial Fund
People’s Bank
Colleyville Branch:
5712 Colleyville Blvd.
Colleyville TX, 76034
817-605-3250

Grapevine Branch:
601 W. Northwest Hwy.
Grapevine, TX 76051
817-251-2820

In the meantime, I wanted to share with you a blog post that Tricia wrote just a few short days after Jimmy's passing. This is the kind of person she is: in the midst of grief and suffering, she is wanting to make sure that everyone she comes in contact with knows Jesus as their savior. If that isn't a true Legacy Mom, then I don't know what one is. Here is her post:

Jimmy Michael York 1975- 2009
Words cannot begin to express my gratitude for all of your prayers and support for me and my family during this devastating time. Your outpouring of love and support has absolutely overwhelmed me. Please know that we feel all of your prayers and God has been (and ALWAYS will be!) faithful to answer them. His love is sustaining all of us as we try to cope with the loss of one of the greatest men this world has ever known. I have never been more proud of my husband than I am today. Each one of you have shared your stories about how Jimmy has touched your life and it makes my heart smile to know that all of you got to truly see the amazing man that he was. His legacy will continue on through your memories and stories. His ministry will continue, even though he is no longer physically here to carry it out. Jimmy's passion each and every day was to help heal broken marriages and to teach young married people how to create an amazing one. He not only talked the talk, he walked the walk. He was the best husband a woman could ever ask for and he lived out what he taught on stage. If there is anything that he would want any of you to take from his passing, it would be to put God first in your life. When you do that, everything else just falls into place. Jimmy had such a passion for men being true men of God. He challenged husbands each and every day to live up to the role that God called them to. He believed in his heart that we could change the world if we could change men and how they lead their families. My prayer is that if you don't know Christ personally, that you would come to know Him. I have now witnessed how quickly life can be taken from you. We are not promised tomorrow. We are not promised five minutes from now. The time to turn your life to Christ is right now. Jesus Christ is the ONLY thing that will give you joy, peace, love, passion and purpose. I wouldn't want a single person that knew Jimmy to not know that truth. He lived his life to point others to Christ and I want his ministry to continue. I have peace because I know without a shadow of a doubt that Jimmy is walking with the Lord at this very moment. I hurt for me and my family because he will be so DEARLY missed, but I don't hurt for Jimmy because I know who he belongs to and where he is. I pray that no one that encountered him or our family walks away from us not knowing that truth. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. They are appreciated more than you will ever know. May God bless all of you and your marriages.

Tricia, we love you. I am quite sure that I can picture Jimmy's winning smile right now and the light he always had in his eyes when he spoke about you. I know he would be so proud of how you are doing. Your boys have an incredible Mom...and the legacy of a dad that just "got it." Thanks for sharing yourself with us, we are blessed by you.

God Bless!

Journal Questions for Feb.

2009-01-27T18:52:00.000-06:00

Here are the husband/wife discussion questions for this month. For those of you that heard the lesson, I encourage you to have honest, open discussions about these issues, and start working on them for the next month to prepare for our next session. Use these questions for your Legacy Moms journal as well.

*Do I understand and demonstrate in my lifestyle and behavior that nakedness is not just biological, but also spiritual?

*Am I dressing and behaving in a way that tells my children that biblical modesty is something I value?

*Do my entertainment choices meet the standard set in Phil. 4:8?

*Do I discuss with my children the values and messages that are portrayed in the things we watch and listen to?

* Am I getting Biblical Truth in front of my kids and teaching them a Christian worldview, or am I letting someone else decide what my kids need to know and when?

E-mail me and let me know how it goes this month. Looking forward to seeing you on the last Monday night of February! Get there early if you want a seat, we filled up last night!

Blessings!

Get to know......LISA LANGSTON

2009-01-05T13:07:00.000-06:00

Hi there!

Well, if you have been following our blog then you know that I have been highlighting some of the wonderful women that make up our Leadership Team at Legacy Moms. I am really excited to introduce you to Lisa, but if you have been coming long to our group, my guess is you have already gotten to know her! She is such an integral part of our team and does so much behind-the-scenes that it would be improssible for me to list it all. In fact, when I first presented the "idea" of Legacy Moms to that little group of women in my living room, Lisa was the first one to jump in and say, "I am IN...I'll do anything, even sweep floors if that is what it takes." What a sign of things to come! She is truly a servant and serves in humility and love and I know God is so pleased with the way she serves Him. What a treasure she is to us, and you will be blessed to get to know her as well. So here is my interview with Lisa:

Tell me about your family.
Team Langston consists of my husband, Dean, my almost 9-year old son, Jakob, and my 7 year old daughter, Avy. We love Friday night family nights, working and playing on our 1.5 acres, anything outdoors and most sports. We have 2 dogs and a dwarf hamster.

What sort of things are you involved in besides Legacy Moms?
I care for children in my home and that keeps me very busy. I also organize many things for my neighborhood as well as serve at my kiddos school once a week.

What is the most rewarding part of being involved in LM for you?
Watching GOD work in WOMEN……meeting new women who are wanting to leave a legacy for their children, learning from women that have gone before me, building relationships with women that will last forever, seeing and hearing testimonies of what Legacy Moms and God has done in women’s lives that will definitely leave a legacy.

When did you become a Christian?
I became a Christian in May of 1999. I was 27 years old. Thank goodness it’s never too late to make that life changing choice!

Finish these statements:

If you see me around town it would most likely be at: Walmart or Quiktrip or driving the large van with many kids to preschool, gym class, or library!

My kids get embarrassed when I: sing and dance in public

My favorite part of being a mom is: There are so many, but the top ones are the hugs when not expected, ‘I love you’s’, hearing sweet prayers from their mouths, the ‘aha’ moments when all the training comes together….usually just in time when all hope is almost lost!

The most challenging part of being a mom is: Trying not to worry when they are not in your hands, the consistent training, keeping the energy to do all that needs to be done.

The best advice I have ever received was: Proverbs 22:6, but I have received so many pieces of training to support that scripture from Legacy Moms….siblings are best friends, train your child’s heart, priorities of life: God, spouse, children, everything else.

My favorite saying: Right now…."I love you too much to argue."

My family would describe me as:
Dean – good mother, good teacher, caring, servant, puts others first, bad duster (honest!)
Jakob – same things dad said Avy - pretty

The lesson God has been teaching me lately is: Get in His Word, share Him with everyone.

When my kids are grown, the thing I hope that they remember about me the most is: I had so much love for them, that I shared Christ with them in all that I did and said, and if I slacked in any area, it was because I was sharing Him with someone else. I can only hope!!!

The one thing that no parenting book can prepare you for is: all the emotions and feelings that go along with it! Only one book can help you get through it all.

Thank you Lisa!

Scott Wilder at Legacy Moms

2008-11-04T08:23:00.000-06:00

Wow! At our last Legacy Moms meeting, we had Scott Wilder, host of "The Scott Wilder Show" on KWRD 100.7 FM visit with us and share with us some amazing stories about his adventures taking Bibles to countries where it is illegal to do so. The feedback on his time with us has been amazing! People have told me that the things he shared "changed them" and that they would never forget what they learned that night. What a blessing it was for all who came. This is what being a Legacy Mom really is: getting outside ourselves and our little bubble and caring about what God cares about!

Here is just one of the stories he shared with us:

While those who bring Bibles into the country face some risk, the real risk is faced by those inside the country who work as couriers taking Bibles to the house churches and to the villages. While those from outside are not treated so poorly, those inside the country who do this work often face prison sentences to work hard labor. The charges are so vague as to be impossible to defend oneself against.
We heard many stories of people who are right now working in re-education camps in the People's Republic of China. Here is just one:Three people were transporting scriptures from one village to another and they were stopped by the authorities. Of course, they were detained and arrested and the scriptures were confiscated.
They were put in prison and for the first several days they were really beaten very severely. They were given only water to drink, nothing to eat. After about four days of that, they took these three people, all men, out into the village square.
The Police chief said, 'We're going to have a great celebration and you people are going to be the center of it all.' He said that very sarcastically so these three people knew that this was not going to be anything good.
They got out to the village square and there was a huge crowd of people that the authorities had gathered to observe this event. In the middle of all these people was a table. Remember that these men hadn't eaten in four days. They'd had a bit to drink, but nothing to eat.
On this table were three piles of food: some rice, some rice cakes, and some sweet foods. Quite a bit of food in three piles. Each man was asked to stand behind a pile of food at the table.
Then the officer said to them, "All you have to do to get your freedom is to simply indicate that you will stop witnessing, that you'll stop transporting these Bibles, by stepping forward and eating the food. You don't have to say anything. Just step forward and eat the food. That will be the indication that you're going to quit."And he said, "And there's nothing you can do to save these books!" and he pointed to the end of the table where all the Bibles that had been confiscated were piled on the ground.
"Ah," he said, "but there is something you can do to save these books."
And from under the table, he took three rice bowls filled with sewer water. (We saw these open sewers along the side of the road...what they call a benjo ditch. This sewer water is thick black sludge...human waste. That is what was in these bowls.)
The officer said, "If you drink these bowls of sewer water, you can have these books."
After he had said that, the three men, without a moment of hesitation, stepped forward and each of them drank the bowls of sewer water.
Of course, the authorities didn't know what to do because they had promised that they could keep the books. The crowd understood that the authorities would lose face if the they'd kept the books. There were many Christians in the crowd looking, so some in the crowd came forward and took the books for their use.
The three men were put back in prison. They suffered for another seven days. They were beaten some more, but finally they were released.
The amazing thing is that none of the men got sick. Normally, if you were to drink that sewer water, you'd probably die. In some miraculous way, God protected these three people.
Everything the authorities try to do in a sense backfires and that was a tremendous witness to the people of that village. Seven months after this event, there were 800 baptisms in the village where this had taken place.
Now the need for Bibles was greater than ever.

Thank you all who came and shared a wonderful evening with us! Hopefully during this time with so much uncertainty about our country, we can all be reassured that our God is sovereign and that His hand in on his children.

Will Work for Skittles!

2008-10-01T14:11:00.000-05:00

One of our members of our leadership team, Elizabeth Fowler, sent me this funny story and I just had to share it with you. Maybe you can relate and get some creative ideas of your own! She wrote:

"I have a cute idea to share with you.
We always talk to the kids about seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked (not to mention just picking up their own stuff). I have noticed lately that I am doing way to much picking up around the house.
Yesterday the trash was over-full & I am the one who would do it. I decided to leave it in there to see if anyone else who lives in our house might see the need and take it out. However, I put a mini-pack of skittles under the bag for the person who took it out to find and enjoy (as a special surprise reward) for their servant heart.
You know how it went. Even though it was tied up in the container (HINT, HINT), everyone just stuffed more and more trash in. Someone even set a piece of trash on top of the tied up bag. What is that!?
So this morning, we talked about leadership, serving, seeing needs around them, etc & I showed them the skittles.
Then I told them that for fun, I would hide the skittles every day in or by a job that needed to be done. With a one year old in the house there are always toys to be picked up, food to be cleaned up, etc. They were so excited.
Maybe I'll even put some in the dishwasher this afternoon!!!!"

Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth! But beware of leaving candy around!!! Have you read my post about the mice???? They don't help out like the ones on Cinderella! If only......

God Bless!

Get to know.....GINGER PELLETIER!

2008-09-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

On this "get to know..." post, I want to introduce you to Ginger Pelletier. Ginger has been with Legacy Moms from the beginning....and many years before our little group turned into Legacy Moms! I first met Ginger and Jeff when they were pregnant with their first baby and they attended a parenting class we were helping to teach. It has been such a privilege and joy to see what God has done through them as their family has grown and how they now minister to others through parenting classes and marriage classes. If you were at our annual "Dad's Night" this summer, you got a chance to hear Ginger and Jeff talk about marriage and you saw first hand how great they are. We are so privileged to have Ginger on the team!

Ginger, describe some of the things you do at Legacy Moms?

I serve as a table facilitator/ coffee maker/ encourager to mommies!

Tell me about your family.

My husband, Jeff and I celebrated our 13th anniversary on August 19th! Being married to him has been a blast. Our oldest son, Justin is 9 years old. Our daughter Maegan is 7 and youngest son, Ryan is 5. The older two children attend Coram Deo Academy. This school affords them the opportunity to have classroom instruction two days a week on campus and spend the other days at home with me…making sure that they complete all their assignments before the next day of class. I’ve decided to have Ryan stay home from pre-school this next year and hang out with me. Being the third child, I feel like he gets the short end of the stick much too often and I’m enjoying the hang time with him! We have a dog, Charlie. He’s a mutt and we love him. As a family, we like to snow ski, hang at the beach, bike ride, camp in a tent, go to the lake and read together.

Where do you go to church and what sort of things are you involved in there?

We have been members of Fellowship Church for 12 years. Jeff and I enjoy serving together in ministry. We serve in the married life ministry where our purpose is encouraging and strengthening marriages. Serving in the Parenting Ministry allows us to minister to families as they maneuver through some of the toughest season’s of their lives. And last, but not least, we love to help in the Kids ministry during special events. Serving at kids’ camp for the first time this summer was wonderful!

What is the most rewarding part of being involved in LM for you?

Gleaning wisdom from Kym! God has used her to shape the way that I view my role as a wife and mother. I have been equipped in parenting and can partner with my husband and the Holy Spirit to bring these little ones to moral maturity…God willing! When I am not doing such a great job, I can rely on my Legacy friends to lift me up, put things into perspective and set me off on the right path. I have a safe place to go when I need to admit my inadequacy, failure, struggles and needs. It’s a blessing to have their support and this is why I serve in this ministry; to give other mom’s the same safe place! It’s both rewarding to give and receive!!!

When did you become a Christian?

In college. I lay in my bed one night crying because of the mess I made of my grades, friendships and work situation. For the first time in ever I got an overwhelming knowledge of God. I was so embarrassed that I had not thought about Him or lived for Him…ever! I asked God to forgive me and to please help me out of the mess I made of my life. I had no idea how to get to God. A week later I was at work as a waitress and a handsome young lad was sitting at one of my tables. I realized that I knew him from my hometown. So we made the connection with one another and went on a date….water skiing! He then began to take me to church and introduce me to Jesus and encourage me to trust in Him. I accepted Jesus into my life a few months later and then married the boy!

Finish these statements:

If you see me around town it would most likely be at: The grocery store! Why can’t I seem to make just one trip? Lifetime Fitness in Flower Mound….Love It! The Lewisville Library.

The last great book I read was: Lord, Change My Attitude before it’s too Late by James MacDonald. I didn’t know I had an attitude problem till I read this book. It’s great!

My favorite part of being a mom is: Hanging out with these cool kids. Now that the kids are a bit older, we have the best time together. Conversations are meaningful and thought provoking, recreation is more fun than a beating and it seems like we work more as a team to keep the house running than me doing everything for everyone all the time!

The most challenging part of being a mom is: Parenting! Pinpointing behaviors and putting wise words to correcting attitudes is challenging for me. Balancing time between the three is seemingly impossible and I constantly feel like I’m failing someone. If I get all my chores and to do list done, I find that I’ve ignored the kids all day. Will I ever learn to do both? Who knows! I find myself staying up late to get things done and telling the Lord to help me cherish every moment of these child rearing years because once they are gone, I’ll miss the commotion. I sure do love my kids!

The best advice I have ever received was: This is just a season of your life and you should embrace it instead of wishing it away. This was most helpful when I had three children in preschool/diapers. I remember it being very challenging physically, emotionally and relationally.

My family would describe me as: Just asked my kids. Justin said that I “am loving, joyful, happy, spiritual and strict”. Maegan said that I’m “nice, cute, helpful and that’s all”. Ryan says that I “praise Jesus, like daddy, and like our hamster”.

The lesson God has been teaching me lately is: To have an eternal perspective with my husband and kids. He’s been helping me let go of feeling like I should always say “yes” to every volunteer and social opportunity. I spend as much time as possible at home. I don’t talk to my friends nearly as much as I desire, but am honoring God by keeping my schedule manageable for our family’s sake. And keeping myself available for Kingdom Moments!

When my kids are grown, the thing I hope that remember about me the most is: I loved every minute spent with them. That I always encouraged them to lean on Jesus and develop a personal relationship with Him. I pray that they will always know that it was not I who raised and parented them; it was the strength and wisdom of the Holy Spirit through me that did it. All glory be to God!

What I wish I had known when I first started having kids that I know now: Everyone talks about how your life is changed when you have kids. “You’ll never love anyone as much as you love your kids” I wish that I would have known how much my marriage was going to change. Jeff and I had never had a disagreement before these little munchkins came along. It is a constant battle to stay connected both to one another in our marriage relationship and stay on the same page in parenting. We have grown so much through our parenting experience.

Thank you, Ginger, for sharing your heart and your time with us!

Get to know....Shelly Moss!

2008-09-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

Shelly is such a fun person and really, deeply, cares about people. God sent her to Legacy Moms during the development stages and although I knew then it was a blessing, I didn't fully understand or appreciate what an absolute GIFT she would be to the ministry! We could not have gotten Legacy Moms off the ground as quickly as we did without her tireless work and expertise. I'm excited for you to get to know her:

What is your role in Legacy Moms? I am the legal counsel (and board member)

Tell me about your family? My Husband is Rodney Moss and we have 4 children, Hannah 15, Ian 13, Olivia 10 and Sophie 9. We also have 3 dogs, a guinea pig and a hamster.

Where do you go to church and what sort of things are you involved in there? We attend Fellowship Church. We have done volunteer work, Hometeam Leadership and we are about to get involved in the mission trips.

What is the most rewarding part of being involved in LM for you? Sharing. Knowing that as Christian Moms that we are not alone. We have Sisters in Christ how can stand with us as we raise our children to know Jesus.

When did you become a Christian? I became a Christian at the Calgary Baptist Church in Paris, Texas when I was in third grade. It was my Grandmother’s Church and she took me there when ever we visited. She never missed Church and she is still one of the Christian women I look to as a role model.

Finish these statements:

If you see me around town it would most likely be at: a sporting event for a child

The last great book I read was: Same Kind of Different as Me. It is an awesome book and everyone should read it!

My favorite part of being a mom is: Just being there, being part of their lives, dreaming of what they will do and who they will become

The most challenging part of being a mom is: Discipline. To discipline in a meaningful way, as a correction, not as a result of my short temper.

My favorite saying: You can ask for anything as long as you are willing to accept “No” for the answer.

My family would describe me as: Caring. They know that I care about each of them and what they are doing and how they are feeling.

The lesson God has been teaching me lately is: That I can’t please everyone. I have please God and He will work out the rest.

When my kids are grown, the thing I hope that remember about me the most is: That I loved God first, My Husband second and them third. I hope they go on to do the same.

What I wish I had known when I first started having kids that I know now: That the time really does fly and you should enjoy every single moment and I mean every moment!

Thanks, Shelly! We are blessed to have you on the team!

Get to know.....MICHELE RICHARDSON

2008-08-14T14:24:00.000-05:00

Hi there!

One of the greatest privileges I have in my life is being involved in Legacy Moms, mainly because I get to be surrounded by the incredible women that make up our leadership team. They are truly remarkable women and I am really humbled to get to serve alongside them. I have learned so much from them. These are the women that sharpen me, hold me accountable, and listen when I need a friend. I would love for you to get to know each and every one one of them. So, every now and then I will feature one of them in The Journal. I hope that as you read the interviews, you will feel like you just sat down over a cup of coffee and got to know them personally. I also hope that as you get to know more about different people on our team, you will come to Legacy Moms, sit at different tables, and let us get to know you, too!

It is only fitting that I start with Michele Richardson, who is really the "hands and feet" of Legacy Moms, one of my dearest friends and someone I admire greatly:

What is your role in Legacy Moms? Co- Founder, VP and administrative coordinator to the leadership team

Tell me about your family. I have a godly husband, Toby. We have been married 16 years. Our three children are Graham (13), Kayli (10) and Ty is 7 years old. Toby is a territory manager for a company called Secure Computing. He works out of our home office which can be a blessing but also difficult in the summer with three loud kids who have friends over all the time! My children go to Liberty Christian School and love it! Graham is on the 8th grade football team. Kayli plays select softball with a group of Liberty friends and is very social. Ty is my outgoing, never met a stranger type of kid... He makes friends so easily. He loves Legos and action figures and can talk to a wall :)!

Where do you go to church and what sort of things are you involved in there?
We have been members at Fellowship Church for 16 years. Over the course of 16 years we have served as Sunday school/preschool teachers, Kindergarten leaders, HomeTeam leaders, Adventure Week volunteers, Prep. For Toddler leaders, Prep. For Parenting leaders, Growing Kids God way leaders, Reflections of Moral Innocence helpers and First Time Visitor Guides. We are currently HomeTeam Leaders in Southlake. We recently moved to Bartonville (Argyle) to be closer to the kids school which is making the drive to church more of a challenge... Especially the youth Wednesday night activities. So we are in prayer as to God’s will if we should find a new home church. What a difficult decision when we have been so blessed at FC for so long!

What is the most rewarding part of being involved in LM for you?
I love sitting around the table each month and hearing all that God is doing in the lives of the women at my table. Their stories encourage me and uplift me to be the best mom I can be. It is as if God has given Kym the perfect topic each month just for me to speak to my heart .

When did you become a Christian?
September 27, 1988. I was a sophomore at TCU and met a guy who loved Jesus. His example was so powerful in my life that I finally realized that all I needed to do was ask God to take control of my life and accept the gift of salvation without having to be perfect.... His grace was all I needed! So, in my dorm room that night, I got on my knees and asked Jesus into my heart and life hasn’t been the same since.... What a joy filled life I now live :)... God is so good!

Finish these statements:

If you see me around town it would most likely be at: the gym taking step classes, jogging around my neighborhood or playing tennis in Southlake.

The last great book I read was: The Shack by William P. Young.... Great book!

My favorite part of being a mom is: the hugs my 7 year old still gives, my sweet daughter always telling me she loves me and the deep talks about God I have with my teenager.

The most challenging part of being a mom is: Seeing my kids go through challenging times and letting God help them through it. I so badly want to go in and try to “fix it” for them.

The best advice I have ever received was: My mother-in-law is always giving me great godly advice and she is the one who has told me to let God work in my kids lives at a young age because she felt like she always went in the “fix” their problems and therefore they had to go through them again as adults etc...

My family would describe me as: Laid back and spontaneous.

The lesson God has been teaching me lately is: to trust my husband with all the decisions for our family. God has put him as head of this household and I need to follow his lead. I have known this for 16 years of marriage but when hard times come, I want to take control myself!

When my kids are grown, the thing I hope that remember about me the most is: My daily quiet times in the mornings... Praying and studying God’s word.

What I wish I had known when I first started having kids that I know now: what a great responsibility God has given me to raise these kids to follow Him and be servants for His kingdom. At first I thought it was all about the joy of having a family (and the tough times of nursing them and diapers etc..... )... now I know and hope my kiddos will grow to love Him with all their hearts and serve Him deeply as adults. I can’t wait to see what God does in their lives.

Thanks Michele! You are a blessing.

A Boy Story

2008-07-08T21:41:00.000-05:00

We have a lot of wildlife around our house. We live near a river and have lots of trees, so we get to experience a lot of different "critters." For example, in the past three months I have witnessed a group of five (yes, I said five) armadillos making their way across our backyard, I've looked out the window and witnessed a hawk swooping down to pick up a snake, then backing off when the snake reared up at it, and we had a few mice move in with us (temporarily) when I went out of town unexpectedly and my children left a pixie stick and a Tootsie-Roll pop in our garage, along with a trail of Goldfish crumbs leading to our kitchen and practically hung a "Welcome" sign on the door. We also had a blue-tailed skink (I really have no idea what that is, but that's what Cameron called it) running around our living room last week which he had to catch in a jar and take outside before I had a meltdown.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not a big fan of little critters when they are in my living space! Don't get me wrong, I love the bunnies that live in our yard and the squirrels don't bother me a bit, but the creepy things literally make my skin crawl! My boys have learned that I do not really want to see the frog, or the lizard, or the dead anything that they found outside.
Well, today just takes the cake! You see, we were running late to football camp, so I told Cameron to grab his football shoes (which are kept in the garage) and put them on in the car because I didn't have time to wait for him to tie them. (That is a whole other story that you are probably familiar with if you come to Legacy Moms!)
Anyway, we are driving on the highway when Cameron sticks his foot in his shoe and yells out, 'Oh, Man! That is gross!" First of all, I'm trying to drive on the freeway. Suddenly yelling out was mistake #1. Secondly, I know those shoes have been in the garage and my mind is spinning....is something about to come out? What if it touches me? How quickly can I pull over and get out of this car??? Thirdly, do you have any idea how gross it must be if HE things it is gross???
So I ask Cameron what it is and with a look of disgust, he tells me that there is a baby snake, cut in half, now smashed inside his shoe. He then goes into detail about how the blood and guts are all squished inside his shoe and the eyes are still looking up at him. At this point, I am about to get sick (especially since I am getting over a little stomach bug as it is!)
We pull over and Cameron shakes the smooshed baby snake carcass out of his shoe and then proceeds to just put his shoe back on! As if nothing happened! When seeing my look of horror, he looks at me and says "I'm just glad I have socks on!" Then he laughs and says to me "Hey, mom! There's a snake in my boots! Ha Ha! Just like Woody in Toy Story!"
All I can say is, I sure am glad I have a mini-man in my life that can handle all these traumatic events for me when the Big Man isn't around! And then just laugh about it! That's my BOY! He's gonna make some girl a really good husband one day!

God Bless!

'Tween Girls

2008-05-30T14:13:00.000-05:00

If you have a daughter between the ages of 7-12, you know how busy and preoccupied she can become. From Hanna Montana to American Girl dolls, to friends, Webkinz, dance class and sports, your daughter has many different things fighting for her attention. This is a time when girls are starting to figure out who they are and what kind of young women they want to be.
As a mom, you might feel her pulling away from you and you may sense that there is tension there. You might be sailing through thinking that the hard part of parenting has ended and she doesn’t really require so much of your attention anymore. But the fact is, she needs you now more than ever! She wants your focus and your attention (even if she doesn't always act like it) and she wants to bond with you so that she can carry on the Legacy that you are creating, With everything that is influencing her, don't you want to be the biggest influence? Can you be the biggest influence if you haven't established trust with her and have a bond that pulls her toward you instead of away from you?
That's why we are offering the first ever “Little Legacies” Mother-Daughter Workshop for Legacy Moms and their daughters ages 7-12! It will be a day of fun, learning and bonding that she will never forget. Click on the link below for more info and to register. Space is limited, so don't delay! Remember...she won't be this age forever, and the time to build the bridge is NOW!
http://legacymoms.org/registration.aspx
I look forward to seeing you there!

I want more.

2008-05-13T10:19:00.000-05:00

Do you ever find yourself looking forward to that next "big thing", only to find that it didn't really fulfill you and now you are focused on the next one? I think we all suffer from a lack of contentment from time to time. Maybe it's the next big trip, or that piece of furniture or jewelry that you've been eye-balling forever. Maybe you think to yourself, "Things will be great once (fill in the blank) happens." Maybe you think your life will be so much better if you had a new house, or a new car, or once your kids start school, or your husband gets a better job, or when you get pregnant, or your kids are potty-trained. Then, once that happens, you realize that you still aren't fulfilled and there is something else you want, need and wish for. Our sinful, human nature is so bent toward missing the joy of the here-and-now because we consume ourselves with what we don't have. I can be the world's worst about that! I have (through years of trial and error!) had to learn to focus on the blessings of the present while still having hope for the future. I have tried hard not to pass this on to my children. I really want them to be glass-half-full people like my husband. Today, my daughter Jordan wrote a poem that I thought I would share with you:

I Want More!

by Jordan Carter

age 9

When I get four,

I want more!

When I get nine,

It's still not fine.

When I get twenty,

I do not have plenty.

When I get a million,

Why not a billion?

Maybe that's not what life was meant,

Maybe I should learn to be content.

May you and I find joy and contentment right where we are today! Thanks, Jordan, for the reminder. Out of the mouths of babes........

God Bless!

Time Flies

2008-05-02T15:36:00.000-05:00

It seems like just yesterday, but twelve years ago (tomorrow) my life was forever changed. I gave birth to my first child and I became someone's MOM! There are some in this world who see having a baby as something that "happens" to you, something that needs to be "dealt with" or an inconvenience or obstacle to overcome in order to reach their "real" calling in life, but not me! I know that God doesn't see it that way, either. God values moms.

It was after I became a mom that I learned God had a purpose and calling for my life. Now, I must admit, I didn't figure this out over-night. I also must admit that there are many rewarding aspects to my life, such as being married to a wonderful husband and having really deep, like-minded friends that have stretched me and supported me, but being a mom has been so crucial in my growth as a Christian. It has been a journey, a process of discovering just who I am and how God wants me to use my talents, my life experiences and my mistakes to grow and become who He called me to be. Quite simply: He has used my children to draw me closer to Him!

I heard that one of the Legacy Moms said that God used her son to "soften her heart" towards God. How true for most of us!

I'm not a perfect mom. In fact, there are days I'm not even a very good mom. I can be impatient, cranky and overwhelmed. But when I hear the laughter of my children, when I see the smile on their faces and feel their arms around me, I know that they are gifts from a loving God and He must love me an awful lot to let me be their mom! I also know that nothing....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING....can be as rewarding as knowing that my kids are happy, that they know they are loved and they feel secure, and that I am teaching them to know Jesus and love Him.

Tomorrow is bitter-sweet for me. My little boy is turning 12 and is becoming more and more of a Godly young man everyday. I am so thankful for the past 12 years and can't wait to see what God teaches me over the next 12 years! Time is short and they are all growing up so fast. My greatest hope is that I make the most of the time I have and don't waste a single moment on things that are temporary and insignificant.

Well, I have to go for now....my five-year-old just asked me to hold him. In the blink of an eye, he'll be 12 too , so I better hold him while I can!

Blessings!

The rest is up to you!

2008-03-04T11:42:00.000-06:00

Our leadership team just returned about a week ago from our 2nd Annual Legacy Moms Leadership Team Retreat. It was such a great time for all of us to get refreshed and refocused on what God has in store for us personally as moms, but also for Legacy Moms as a whole. We are so excited to see what God has in store for all of you through this ministry!
One of the things we talked about is the healing and restoration that we go should through after a time of wandering away or after a dark time in our life. The steps can be found right there in a familiar passage, The 23rd Psalm:

"The LORD is my shepherd; I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name."

You see, we are often just like sheep: stressed, cast-down, wandering away. But Jesus, our good shepherd, wants to restore us and strengthen us, but we have to take that first step. The first step is to REST.
Rest???!!!! Do you even remember what that is? As moms, our lives are often so full of noise and activities that we think we have no time for rest. God gives us rest. But we have to go to Him for that. He knows we need it and when we honestly come before Him weak and weary, He will give us rest. It is easy for us to keep ourselves busy and "productive" and distracted, but we must take time to be still, to be quiet, and let him give us rest.
AFTER we have rested, then He strengthens us, refreshes us, and heals us. But it starts with rest. Many times, after we have gone though a season of darkness and stress and are worn down, if we allow Him to restore us and build us back up, we are more refined and better than we were before. Finally, after rest and strengthening, He takes us by the hand and gently leads us back along the right path. The path that is full of peace and brings honor to His name. That is the place where we are truly leaving a legacy to our children. A legacy that teaches that we all go through hard times, we all feel cast down at times and burdened. But there is hope and healing and restoration available if we take our burdens to Jesus.

It starts with resting in Him. Take time out from the hustle and bustle of your life and just spend time with Him and let Him give you rest. It will do you some good! God Bless!

Think Before You Speak

2008-01-23T13:56:00.001-06:00

Have you ever noticed how judgmental we parents can be of other parents? How we tend to make assumptions about other people and their situations and diagnose their problems (as if we have all of our own stuff figured out!) Shouldn't we, who are in the trenches of motherhood, be the most understanding and helpful to other moms in need? Instead of giving them dirty looks, jumping to conclusions about their lack of parenting skills, or making rude comments? And if we see a child that is different, shouldn't we be kind and caring to that child instead of adding to their feelings of isolation by staring and pointing?

A few years ago, I got a tiny taste of what it must feel like to have a child that is different. Caedmon, (who is now a very healthy 5-year-old) was diagnosed with a kidney condition called Nephrotic Syndrome when he was just 1 year old. He was put on steroids for almost 4 months in order to solve the issue. During that time, the steroids caused him to balloon in size. (The photo was taken during treatment.) At one point he got so big he looked like an obese child. Once, a woman walked up to him and said, 'Well honey, does your mama ever tell you no? You don't look like you've ever missed a meal." Another time, as we walked in to a restaurant as a family, I saw someone gesture over to us and point to my older two children, then they puffed out their cheeks and pointed at Caedmon, laughing, I guess trying to figure out why he was the only one that looked so "fat." It crushed me to think that there are children (and moms) who go through this kind of thing their whole lives.

Recently, I received an e-mail from a mom of an autistic child that broke my heart and I felt everyone should read it. I edited the names to protect their identity. This is what it said:

"I don't know who I am sending this to or why I am sending it, I guess I just need to vent so I am putting it in writing. Most of you know G. and know the issues we have dealt with his entire life. He is such a great boy and works so hard at school and at therapy to overcome his obstacles the best he can. What most of you aren't aware of, except my playdate friends, is the rudeness we encounter from strangers on a weekly basis when G. acts up in public. I have been very strong and normally don't let people get to me, but the person today just sent me over my threshold of patience where I felt that I need to tell and ask for help from my friends and family.

So let me just re-enact the scene. I took the kids by myself to Chik-fil-A and G. has gotten really good playing in the play area. C. was sitting at a table with me eating and G. had finished eating so had gone into the play area. There were about 15 kids packed in this small play area and only one way to get into the jungle gym. There were about 5 kids (two of them under two years) clogging up the tunnel to go up. G. climbed right over them, pushing along the way. He does not have a problem pushing kids for no reason, but when they are in his way, he just pushes through because he can't say, "Hey kid, please move so I can get by."

Anyway, he pushed a little girl, who was about 18 months old and shouldn't be in there anyway and she started crying. I immediately went into the play area to have a talk with him, which he responds really well to and the three parents in there were looking for his mom and I heard this man say, "Well obviously there is something going on with him" and I asked who they were talking about and they said the boy in the blue shirt. I said it was my son and he had autism and he doesn't understand how to wait for the tunnel and not push his way through.

The man and ladies seemed fine and I pulled G. aside and had a long talk with him and then I headed back to the table to check on C., who was all by herself. The man said, 'You aren't leaving, are you?"'and I said, 'My three year old is out there by herself, do I need to stay?' and he said, 'Well the other kids shouldn't have to be punished because of him.'

I just stood there for a second soaking that statement in and the fire in my head started to boil. G. was so scared at that point that he was playing with a wheel at the bottom and not even near another kid. I told G. he was a good boy but that we needed to leave and I took him back to the table and just started crying. I just want him to be able to play in a play area with other kids. He has had 5 years of multiple therapies, thousands of thousands of dollars spent on getting him "normal" enough to take into public and not have someone say rude things like these. It breaks my heart for him and for me that we are treated like this. This is about the millionth time something like this has happened to me, in fact, I have been trying to come back with a good line to say with when this happens.
So, I don't have a clue to what you guys can do to help me. I guess, I just wanted to let people see some of the daily life of autism and what we have to deal with on top of all the other things we are dealing with, like insurance and not knowing if our son will ever read or not. It is not an easy life and we don't complain much about our struggles or the path that God choose for us, but we have them and sometimes it can overcome someone when a rude person makes a comment like this. If you can just take the time when you see a child that has special needs and don't judge them or stare at them or say mean things to their parents. Instead, ask if you can help with anything, tell them you know someone who has a special little boy and he is the greatest gift ever!

Well, thanks for reading my story, or if it was too long, I am sorry, like I said I just had to vent. If you can pass this along so that people can be made aware of what parents of special needs kiddos have to face just to get a chicken sandwich..."

My heart breaks for that mom and her little boy. We moms need to stick together and be advocates for ALL kids, not just our own. I hope that we can all learn to think before we speak and give people a little grace. You never know what someone is going through and making a rude comment or making assumptions about what you think is going on is never helpful in a situation. Our children need love and acceptance. They need understanding. They need someone to stick up for them and be their friend. Are you teaching your children to be kind to others, or to be critical and judgmental? They are watching every move you make. If we are Christ followers, our hearts need to break for those in need: be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. We need to teach our children and model for them what it looks like to reach out to those in need and give a kind word or some encouragement.

"Then the King will say to those on the right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.' " Then these righteous ones will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?' And the King will tell them, 'I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!' " Matt. 25:34-40

God Bless!

Jump in!

2008-01-11T13:21:00.000-06:00

Many years ago, after my (now) husband and I had been dating for a couple of years, it became obvious that our relationship was headed toward marriage. I suddenly became very discontent and felt wish-washy about everything. I found myself obsessing about every little thing and worrying about the future. I was constantly asking myself, "What if...." this and "What about...." that. I was worried about making a mistake. I would think, "Is this the man God has for me?" I knew I loved him and wanted to marry him, but I was desperately afraid to make a mistake and commit. Even though I really wanted him to be "the one," I kept expecting some "sign" from God so I could know for sure. So, I spent the next 6 months in turmoil, worrying, and over-analyzing everything. Now, keep in mind that all of this was mostly taking place in my own private thoughts, and he was basically oblivious to my inner struggle. He thought things were great! (Isn't that so typical!)
Finally, after seeking wise counsel and much prayer, I decided to trust God that this was, indeed, the man for me, and just in the nick of time! Soon after he proposed and I accepted.
Here is why I tell you this story....after I decided to commit and made a decision and knew for sure that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with, all those little "issues" that I was so worried about just went away! I had peace, the little things didn't matter that much anymore, and I knew where I was headed....even if I didn't know all the details....I knew I was committed 100% to being his wife and it felt great to have some clarity about it.
So, are you feeling discontent and worried about where you are at in your life? Is it possible that you are "on the fence" in your relationship with Christ, and that if you would just commit 100%, you could find peace and contentment? Or maybe you have given your life to Christ, but your have not committed fully to His calling on your life. Maybe you are afraid to make a mistake, over-analyzing everything, or waiting for a "sign" before you commit to what you know He has called you to do. I went through the same cycle again when I felt God was calling me to start Legacy Moms. (Why don't we learn our lessons the first time!!!!)
We may not know everything about where we are going, but maybe committing to it is half the battle. Life is like a rushing river and it is going by.....fast! You can either stand by wondering where the river is going, worrying about all the unknowns......or you can trust God and jump in! I say, "Let's jump!"
God bless!

Being a Better Me

2008-01-02T12:25:00.000-06:00

The new year usually motivates me and causes me anxiety at the same time. On the one hand, I'm excited to get back to life as normal: regular schedules, regular meals, etc... but even better. I'm always ready to turn over a new leaf and be a better version of myself. I'm going to get up earlier! I'm going to have a quiet time first thing everyday! I'm going to work out and eat right! I'm going to be a great mom! I'm going to be a great wife! I'm going to floss everyday! But then I feel all this pressure....because the new year is HERE and it's time to get started! (Oh no! I have to get up earlier? Uh oh...I was supposed to work out today! GUILT is setting in already!) And I know that more than likely a year from now I will be trying once again to be the better version of me for as long as I can sustain it, but truth be told, I will probably be the same old,average, imperfect me.
Now, I know that I will never be perfect this side of heaven. I also know that in my strength alone I will never be the best version of myself. In fact, the more I try to improve myself with my own will, the worse I seem to get! This year, instead of focusing on the kind of person I want to be, I am going to focus on the kind of person God wants me to be. I'm going to lay all my imperfections at His feet and ask Him to mold me into the woman He wants me to be. If I trust in Him for everything, and obey His word, I have a feeling that through His power, I will just naturally be the better version of me. I'll be a better mom, a better wife, friend, etc.. Not for my glory, but for His. Besides, where would I be if I hadn't learned all that I have through the lessons of my failures? Being a Legacy Mom isn't about being perfect, it's just about doing the best you can with what you got, doing the best you can today and giving the rest to God. I am praying for you to do just that!

A Great Gift!

2007-12-09T13:21:00.000-06:00

If you have a son or husband that loves action/adventure/fantasy movies like Pirates of the Caribbean or books like The Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia, then I have a great gift idea for you! (Okay, to be fair, some of you moms might like that kind of stuff too!) Let me recommend the book The Legend of the Firefish by George Bryan Polivka. I bought this book for my son, Cameron, and he devoured it, stating that it was by far his favorite all-time book. Then my dad read it and now I am currently reading it. We gave an autographed copy of it away at Open Book night, and I talked about it briefly at that time. It is the first installment in the "Trophy Chase Trilogy" and has been compared to a pirate version of the show "24." Let me share with you three reasons why you should get this book:

1. It is a Christian fantasy/adventure, so there is no worry of mystical/magical themes that are dark and might be objectionable for you as a parent. However, it has all the action, suspense and adventure to appeal to the most serious reader who might otherwise overlook Christian fiction. I would recommend it for anyone 12 or over, because the thematic elements do deal with the reality of good and evil in our world. The author says this, "Although the kingdom of Nearing Vast is mythical, it is not magical. Like our world, it is populated with people who have very real limitations. The world, the flesh, and the devil press in, and threaten destruction. But here, as in our world, there is power in faith, and all people have hope for redemption. This is not a 'sword and sorcery' tale, but one of 'sword and spirit.' There is no magic....but there are miracles."
2. As a mother of two boys, I have at times struggled to raise boys that are Godly young men, yet still masculine MEN. (Thank God I have a husband who is a great example of a Godly man to lead that process!) This book beautifully addresses this struggle that I have no doubt many men struggle with as well. How do you obey God's word and follow Jesus' example (like turning the other cheek), yet avoid becoming weak and pushed around? When do you fight and when do you just walk away? Packer, the hero in this story, is a great example of what it means to be a man of faith in the face of trials and temptation. He exudes biblical "meekness" which is really strength under control.
3. The third reason I love this book is that Polivka creates a heroine that is strong because of her God-given female traits, not in-spite of them. You gotta love that! Panna faces trials and temptations with perseverance and overcomes her human flaws with faith and persistence.

Well, in the spirit of full-disclosure, I must tell you there is one more reason I love this book. The author, George Bryan Polivka, is incredibly talented, and he gave me my first job out of college and taught me many of the skills that I now use in my ministry of speaking, teaching and writing (even though we were working in television and not in a Christian environment!). God used him in my life many years ago to prepare me for the path He would eventually call me to, long before I was even a mom or had any notion of starting a ministry. We crossed paths again recently and I was so happy to see how God is using him through these books. He is a fantastic writer and I hope you enjoy it as much as we have. By the way, don't forget to click on our Legacy Moms "store" and order it through Amazon. When you order anything through Amazon by going through our store first, Amazon gives Legacy Moms a referral fee. 100% of the money goes back into our ministry so we can continue to equip and encourage moms. Thanks for supporting us. Blessings!

Open Book Night

2007-11-06T12:12:00.000-06:00

Don't you just love a good story? One of my favorite parts of being involved in Legacy Moms is getting to hear what God is doing in the lives moms just like you. Many of you have e-mailed me your "stories" and they are amazing! Maybe it was an epiphany that you had during one of our Legacy Moms meetings. Maybe it was something that God spoke to your heart during our journaling time that changed the way you saw your situation or the way you were parenting. Maybe it was just a fun idea that you heard during your table discussion and it helped you connect with your kids in a new way.
Have you ever read the "testimonials" page on our website? They are full of stories about how God has used Legacy Moms to change the lives of women. He deserves ALL the glory! God is working in each of our lives. The question is, do we keep the story to ourselves, or do we share it and give God the glory for what He has done?
At our last meeting, Michele Richardson, co-founder of Legacy Moms, shared with us how using a prayer journal has changed her life by helping her remember how God has taken care of her every need over the years. She shared the story from Joshua where the Israelites took 12 stones from the Jordan river to create a memorial of what God had done for them. In Joshua 4:21-24 it says, " In the future, your children will ask, 'What do these stones mean?' 22 Then you can tell them, 'This is where the Israelites crossed the Jordan on dry ground.' 23 For the LORD your God dried up the river right before your eyes, and he kept it dry until you were all across, just as he did at the Red Sea when he dried it up until we had all crossed over. 24 He did this so that all the nations of the earth might know the power of the LORD, and that you might fear the LORD your God forever."
This is exactly why we started having a journaling time at our meetings: so that you can record specifically what the Lord is doing in your life and so you will have that in writing to pass on as a legacy to your children. However, there's more to it than just that. Do you realize that those lessons you have learned and the things that have touched your life can encourage those around you right now! We as women need to be transparent in order to reach out to those around us and be used by God to encourage others. You have to be an "open book" literally. As Legacy Moms, we should share our triumphs, our fears, our lessons learned and a few laughs with other moms. That is why we are having a very special celebration at our November 26th meeting and I hope that you'll make every effort to be there. We are calling this "Open Book Night." This is a chance for you to reflect back on what the Lord has taught you and share it with us.
Look back at your notes and at your journaling over the past year and consider the following questions: What has God revealed to you through Legacy Moms? Is there a specific lesson, story, or verse that particularly touched you or changed you somehow? How have you grown as a wife, a mother, or as woman in general? What have you learned that you wish every mom knew? How has your family life changed since getting involved in Legacy Moms? If you have something to share, please don't keep it to yourself! Join us at "Open Book Night" for food and fellowship and a time to express our gratitude to God for all He has done. There won't be any pressure to talk or share if you don't want to, so please join us even if you have nothing to say. Only those that want to share something will. Some of you might just want to come and listen and consider it a chance to catch up on what you might have missed! We will have special surprises for everyone, extra door-prizes, and lots of fun.
If you've never come to Legacy Moms, what a great time to join us and see what the Lord has done! Remember, this is not about praising Legacy Moms, your table leader, or anyone else but God. So let's open up our journals, our lives and our mouths and praise Him for what He has done for us! See you there!

Good catch!!!

2007-09-30T19:44:00.000-05:00

"More is caught than taught." You've probably heard that line before, but I had an experience this week that really proves how true that is. My kids and I attend CBS (Community Bible Study) and my two older kids and I have the same memory verse : Romans 1:16-17. We were all three trying to memorize it and after reading it out loud together a few times, we tried to say it by memory and we got stuck in verse 16, "I am not ashamed of the gospel.... um..because....um......because it's....." Out of the blue, my 4-year-old pipes up, "Because it is the power of God!" So my husband asked him if he could say the whole verse. Here is what happened: (make sure you have your sound up!)

When I realized he had heard us reciting the verse and had memorized it (even before we did) it got me thinking. The "more is caught than taught" thing can really be a double-edged sword. It happened to work in my favor this time, and I am so thankful it was God's word that he "caught" and hid in his heart! But what else has he "caught" when I assumed he wasn't listening or didn't understand? Have you ever thought about the lyrics in the music you listen to? Have you ever considered the content of the TV shows you watch when you assumed your child was too young to catch what was going on? It is so important as moms that we monitor what our children are exposed to. Keep in mind, not all preachers stand in pulpits and not all teachers are in classrooms. The words you say, the music you listen to, and the media you bring in to your house all impact your children and the way they view their world, even when you think they aren't paying attention, even when you think they are too young to be affected. You never know when that light will come on, the question is....what is it that they will "catch" when it does?

God Bless!

Welcome

2007-09-19T09:14:00.000-05:00

Do you enjoy your kids? I do. I don't mean that I enjoy every part of the nitty-gritty, wiping bottoms, cleaning up spills, saying no to candy for morning snack 10 times, finding the lost shoe, "He started it!", and for goodness sakes , "What is that smell?" kind of stuff. But I really do like who my kids are. (And it's not just because they are just like me!) I have a relationship with each one of them, and I find each one of those relationships rewarding. My husband and I have a goal. We want to be friends with our kids when they are grown. But for now, we have to be parents....which means that it is our job to teach them and train them. We have to be the ones to say "no" and give them rules and structure and consequences for disobedience. We must teach them in God's wisdom and place truth in their hearts. But, if we try to do all that without having a real relationship built on trust, it will all be worthless. So, if you feel that you have lost the enjoyment of being a mom.....get back to basics. Put your rules aside for a moment and get to know your kids. Listen to them, play with them, and build that trust. If they trust you, they will be more likely to follow your lead. God bless!