The Inside Scoop on Gossip

Someone comes to you and says, “You’re not going to believe what I just heard about so-and-so….” And in the blink of an eye you find yourself caught up right in the middle of it. Gossip. The dirt. The inside scoop. Whatever you call it, we have all done it, we’ve nearly all been hurt by it, and we all know better. Then why is it so hard for us to not do something that the Bible clearly tells us is wrong? Is it because society treats it lightly, even promotes it with entire TV shows and magazines and websites dedicated to it? Is it because it makes us feel good to be “in the know” about someone else? Or is it much deeper, much more personal than we would really like to admit?

I recently taught on this subject and got several requests to blog on it. Although I can’t include everything from that lesson in this post, I’ll try to hit some key points and answer some really tough questions about gossiping so that we can all learn to get a handle on this problem that seems so minor, but can lead to a legacy of sin that we will hand down to our children if we don’t get a handle on it.

There is a big misconception out there that if you are sharing something that is true, then it’s not gossip. Gossip is anything we say that raises questions or doubts about another person or their character. It is conversation that occurs behind someone’s back that puts them in a bad light (even if that was not the intention). And then there’s gossip’s evil twin: slander. Slander is to speak critically of a person with the intent to hurt their character or their reputation

I don’t think we usually begin our day with intentionally gossiping about someone or harming their character on our list of things to get done. Sometimes we have a real concern or compassion or curiosity for a person and/or their circumstances and we convince ourselves, “If I can just get more information about this situation, or if I just share this with someone, we can pray for them or help in some way.”

But, if we are really walking with Christ on a daily basis, you know when your talk has become gossip. You get that tug, that pit-in-the-stomach- feeling from the Holy Spirit that tells you that you have shared too much.

Several years ago I encountered a difficult situation with a person that I disagreed with and felt justified in my opinions. I was speaking at a parenting conference and one of the speakers was teaching techniques and opinions that I whole-heartedly disagreed with and even worse…the speaker wasn’t even a parent! I thought it was outrageous. I couldn’t wait to talk about it with a couple of my friends because I knew they would agree with me that I was right…..it was outrageous what was taught and especially coming from someone with no practical experience. I repeated word for word for my friends what was said, even imitated the inflection and gestures used by this person. Then I got that feeling…that tap on the shoulder….uh oh…I was gossiping.

So, why do we talk about others even when we know gossip is wrong, harmful to us and others and we don’t really want to hurt other people? I think it’s like this: I once forgot that I had left a cast iron skillet in the oven and the oven had been preheating. Without thinking, I just grabbed the handle and burned my hand pretty good. Later that day, as I was taking a shower, I realized that the hot water was burning my hand further. However, it was too hard to use my left and hand and wash my hair with just one hand, so I decided to just go ahead and use my hand even though it was hurting, because it was easier to do what I had always done. That the same thing we do with gossip. It’s hard to change habits or to be the one to stop the conversation, so we just go ahead and do what’s easy if we know we are going to pay for it later. That’s the lie of sin. It seems so minor…or fun….for the short term. Then it turns around and bites you. Habits are hard to break.

We as women are naturally talkers and relationship oriented. (That’s not to say that men don’t gossip too) but we as a whole tend to be characterized by having loose lips from time to time. We are by design social creatures. Many of us desire to be included, to be in groups, to fit in and know what is going on in other people’s lives. These things all create the perfect storm for gossip.

We want to be valued, feel connected and get affirmation from those around us. When you share a certain opinion about someone, you are being vulnerable and laying it on the line. When the other person affirms your opinion and shares their true feelings, there is a “bond” -an intimacy that is formed by sharing a “secret” or knowing “inside” information.

If we are really going to get real about gossip and do something about it, we have to feed that root need behind the gossip in a more productive way.

The question is what is your root need that you are trying to fill with gossip? Is it that your self-esteem is low and you need to feel superior to someone by criticizing them? Is it that you feel left out in a group and want to be “in” the group? Do you just need someone to tell you that your opinions are valid?

Let’s be honest, at times we are all that 12-year-old girl inside that still wants to fit in and be accepted. That girl that needs to be in the “in” group and wonders if people really like her and if they are talking about her and judging her behind her back. And the tactics we used in jr. high to feel like part of the group are sometimes the same old tactics we use now, except that now the stakes are much higher! Now there are careers, marriages, testimonies and church unity that can be damaged by our words. Not to mention our children and our legacy.


So, here are five reasons to avoid gossip:
1. It tears apart homes and families.
Proverbs 14:1
“A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands.”

One of the ways we tear down our own homes and families, as well as other’s families is with our foolish words.

2. It leads to bitterness.

Hebrews 12: 14-15
“Try to live in peace with everyone, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that no bitter root of unbelief rises up among you, for whenever it springs up, many are corrupted by its poison.”

One little comment made about you or made by you about someone else can start a root of bitterness and pain that can grow into weeds that choke out even the closest of relationships.

3. It changes how you perceive other people.

Proverbs 18:8
“What dainty morsels rumors are – but they sink deep into one’s heart.”

Someone asks a leading question like, “Is everything okay between Mark and Susan? I’m really concerned about their marriage.” You’ve had no reason to think anything was wrong….but now you start to wonder.

Even if the gossip you share isn’t a big deal to you, or if what you hear about someone isn’t even true and you know it’s probably just gossip, it plants a seed of doubt in your mind. Your mind is then forever changed about that person. You sometimes then analyze it and make it into something huge in your own mind. Then begins the speculation, the suspicions, and the judgment- all which may be based on hearsay or something that may not even be true.

4. It defiles you.
To be defiled means to be made unclean. It makes you dirty…basically. Jesus, talking to the Pharisees who were all wrapped up in the religious rules about what was clean and unclean to eat, says the following:

Matthew 15: 11-12 and 16-20a

“You are not defiled by what you eat; you are defiled by what you what you say and do. ……Anything you eat passes through the stomach and goes out of the body. But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all others sexual immorality, theft, lying and slander. These are what defile you.”

Slander is right there on the list with murder and adultery as things that defile you. What comes out of our mouths is a reflection of what is going on in our hearts. If the heart is right, the speech will be also

5. It has lasting impact on your circle of influence: your friends, your family and your children.

We are supposed to be discipling our children - that is, leading them and teaching them to follow the Lord. They are our first and most important mission field. I know we would all tell our children not to be gossips or tattle-tales. But we can’t take our children any further than we ourselves are willing to go. We must get this right now - if we don’t, we are creating an open door of generational sin to flow right down to our children. Is that the legacy we want to leave our kids with? Is that how we want to be remembered, “My mom was always on phone with her friends talking about people?” It’s a hard question, but we must take it seriously.

There is no doubt that as women we will fail many times in the area of gossip. We will talk too much from time to time in an effort to deepen our relationships. If we are going to talk though, let’s at least make our words encouraging and beneficial. Let’s commit to use our words to build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Wouldn’t it be great to know that the women in your life have your back no matter what? They aren’t going to slander you, they aren’t going to criticize your weaknesses, and they aren’t going to talk about you to other people? We can do that for each other! As Legacy Moms, we can commit to be women of integrity, women who stand for what is right, and women who have the self-confidence because of who we are in Christ. We don’t need to drag other people down with gossip. We don’t need to gossip to feel more connected and included.

We are all in process of becoming more like Christ by growing in faith and in spiritual maturity. We have all failed. Don’t focus on your own failure and the failure of others. Instead, let’s forgive each other and help each other to grow, improve and move forward from here. Let’s encourage one another to be better moms and better women today than we were yesterday.

Helping Your Kids See the Big Picture of the Bible

Did you know that if you want your son or daughter to become a teenager with authentic faith that lasts, then he/she first needs to be able to articulate their God-story? I got some great information from my oldest son's pastor at church and I wanted to share it with you (with his permission.) He is reading a book called "Almost Christian" by Kenda Creasy Dean, and in this book they lay out an extensive survey on American teen spirituality, and found that being able to articulate a God-story is one of the keys of having faith that is consequential (meaning it lasts.)

What does is mean to articulate a God-story? I think of it as being able to articulate the big-picture story of what God is doing from creation to the end. Here's how our youth pastor explained it: It ..."means that your son or daughter needs to know a basic understanding of what God has done in history and what direction He is taking us. As Christians our God-story is based on the revelation of Scripture. I know that it is easy to feel inadequate and insecure about teaching the Bible to your children. We are uneasy because we don't really know the story ourselves. The good news is that God doesn't need you to be a Bible scholar or pastor to teach your children well. A simple, clear understanding of the flow of the Bible is what a middle schooler needs to understand. This is something you CAN help them with."

Here is one basic overview of the Bible that may help you develop a God-story of your own:

1. God has created all things (including humans) for His glory and purposes.- Gen. 1-2
2. Humanity rebelled against God, causing a devastating rift in our relationship that leads to death and separation.- Gen. 3
3. In His great love, God chose Abraham and his descendants (Israel) to be His people through whom he would bless and save the world.- Genesis 12-Exodus
4. Israel failed to faithfully serve God and therefore a Messiah was needed to represent Israel and save the world.- Deuteronomy-Malachi
5. Jesus, fully God and fully man, came as the long awaited Messiah who fulfilled God's promises to rescue us from our sin.- the Gospels
6. Jesus established his church, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to continue His work on the earth until His return.- Acts - Jude
7. Jesus will return to earth to judge those on earth, completely destroy Satan and sin, and restore creation to an unhindered relationship with God.- Revelation


I hope this helps you as you lead your son or daughter as you talk about the Bible and Biblical truth and help them to see the "big picture." I have found it helpful with my kids to always take them back to the big picure, then help them understand how the stories and lessons in the Bible fit in that story so they can see that God is working, He is in control, and that we are a part of a bigger plan.

By the way, if you have little kids, I know that Big Ideas just produced a series of dvds called "Whats in the Bible" to help little ones see the big story as well.

(Thanks to Kevin Libick, Middle School Pastor at Christ Chapel Bible Church for allowing me to share his thoughts!)

Blessings,

Kym

PG 13 - Is it really suitable for your teen?

This issue has really been on my heart this week and I felt led to share my thoughts. My heart breaks when I see children being exposed to things that they are neither spiritually or developmentally ready for, or when they are exposed to just blatant raunchy, rebellious behavior all in the name of "humor." Don't get me wrong, I love comedy and love to laugh, but I am seeing a trend that concerns me. I think that we sometimes get numb to sin when it is presented as humor, and I think we need to be accountable as parents as to what we allow our children to see on TV and in movies. When we tell our kids to obey God's word and to make wise choices based on His word, yet we allow them to see movies that make light of sexual purity, drug use, and present clearly sinful behavior as normal or something to laugh about, we are sending our children mixed messages.

Take, for example, PG-13 movies. Do you assume that because it is rated PG-13 that it is appropriate for anyone over 13? A new movie came out this week that is aimed at teens and is billed as a spoof of the Twilight movies,Vampires Suck. Here's just a part of what is in this PG-13 movie: (from www.pluggedin.com)

Edward shows up in Becca's room at night, ogling and/or cuddling her. After making out with him, Becca strips down to an S&M-style bra and panties. Wielding a whip and other bondage-oriented accoutrements, she throws Edward down, lies on top of him and kisses him passionately. (She's trying to make him "do everything" since they're both virgins. He resists her by breaking a lamp over her head. She responds by saying she likes it rough.) When Edward bites Becca, the act becomes very sexualized as they writhe and groan.

Jacob is portrayed as effeminate and his pack of "wolves" as homosexual dancers. Two men kiss for a prom photo. (Prom is portrayed as a sexual free-for-all.) "Lesbian" is used as an epithet. Becca says that she and Jacob played doctor as children, and that she once gave him a prostate exam. Couples make out. "Humping" and incest are mentioned. Virginity and abstinence are mocked. A girl describes how she still can't ride a bike because she and her lover had such rough sex. A paralyzed man complains that he can't feel his penis. Frank remarks on the size of his daughter's breasts, and he makes disgustingly inappropriate sexual comments to her. He even parades his blow-up sex doll—a running joke—around in her presence. Male and female genitalia are crudely referenced, as are various sex acts. One f-word and at least 15 s-words. God's name is abused about 10 times, twice coupled with "d‑‑n." Christ's name is misused once. Other language includes "h‑‑‑," "b‑‑ch" and "a‑‑." "Blow," "balls" and "douche bag" are also used. A man displays a "single-digit salute."

I saw first-hand similar issues with another teen favorite Dinner for Schmucks. My husband and I actually went to see this one for ourselves and were shocked to see not only young teens, but families coming out of this film, some with kids as young as 8-10 years old.

I wonder how many parents assume that the MPAA has their back, and that if they give a movie a PG-13 rating, that means it's appropriate for everyone 13 and over? Nothing could be further from the truth. The real deal is that teens bring in a huge chunk of money to the movie industry. PG-13 allows movies to be raunchy and rebellious, yet still open to teens and put the responsiblitly on the parents. Here's how the MPAA themselves describe the PG-13 rating: "PG-13 places larger responsibilities on parents for their children's moviegoing. The voluntary rating system is not a surrogate parent, nor should it be. It cannot, and should not, insert itself in family decisions that only parents can, and should, make. Its purpose is to give prescreening advance informational warnings, so that parents can form their own judgments. PG-13 is designed to make these parental decisions easier for films between PG and R." From my point of view, movies that are PG-13 now are overwhelmingly similar to R movies from when we were teens.

Obviously, YOU are the parent of your children, and no one can or should tell you what is best for your kids. But I want to encourage you, as Christian moms, to not make decisions about media without knowing what you are allowing. When we tell our kids that something is wrong, but then we expose them to 100 voices telling them that it is okay, we become one voice in 100 and the majority will win out.

Listen, today's culture is absolutely battling for the hearts and minds of your children. Get your sword and shield and don't be afraid to fight for your kids. Ask questions. Do your homework. Don't make assumptions. Don't be afraid to say "No." Your kids may not understand now, but they will thank you later.

Remember, you are creating a legacy with the decisions you make each and every day and the choices you make now matter. They affect your family now and they affect future generations.


By the way, www.Pluggedin.com is a great resource for parents to review movies, video games and more for content. We use it frequently.

Many Blessings!

Summer Family Event

Legacy Moms,

Hope you are having a fun summer with your children. I don't know about you, but have I been blessed with so much I take for granted such as being able to take my kids to the movies or go out to eat. Sometimes I feel more entitled to these things then thankful. Jesus tells us to remember "the least of these". Those that are struggling just to provide the basics for themselves and their families this summer.

Legacy Moms wants to provide you an opportunity made easy to serve those in need. On Monday, August 9th we will serve at the Beautiful Feet ministry in FTW from 8:30-1 (www.thefeet.org).

We will help them prepare/serve breakfast and lunch and do whatever "feet jobs" they have that day, like unloading trucks and organizing donations and food. Older children are encouraged to come and serve by your side.

Also, please collect any donation items you could give including food, clothing and toys. You could even have your kids collect things from neighbors. They are especially in need of men's clothing and kits that they pass out to the homeless that include travel size bathroom items.

Anyone is welcome to join us so spread the work and let's bring an army of servants (and train a generation of servant leaders!)

Blessings,

Elizabeth Fowler
Legacy Moms Leadership Team

"If you have done it to the least of these, you have done it unto me." Matthew 25:40

A Word About Loyalty

A few weeks ago my teenage son had to write an essay in which he was asked to describe our family. Here is a portion of what he said:

“I have a very strong relationship with my family. They are loyal to me and love me with all their hearts. My parents keep me safe and help guide me through my day-to-day struggles, and my siblings are loyal to me and are fun to be around.”

What stood out to me was that of all the things he could have said about us, the thing he mentioned about us and his siblings was that we are all loyal to him.
Then last week, as I was driving my seven-year-old home from VBS, I asked him what the lesson was on and he answered, “Loving your family and being there for them.” Of course, I followed up with, “Well, what does that mean to you?” He quickly answered, “Well, if you love your family, you just have their backs no matter what.”

Dictionary.com defines a loyal person as someone who is characterized by or showing faithfulness to commitments, vows, allegiance, obligations, etc.
This got me thinking. How do we develop loyalty as something we value in our families? I think it starts with setting the standard that the people in your family are your teammates, your allies, and making loyalty to one-another a non-negotiable. That means you don’t share confidences or embarrassing stories with others without that person’s permission. You keep commitments you make to them and make them a priority. You take their side and defend them if you can, and if they are in the wrong you help them see it with gentleness and love, while never letting them wonder whose side you are on ultimately. You don’t let things that don’t matter come between your relationship and you support each other and encourage each other in your individuality even if you don’t share the same tastes and interests.

I’m sure my daughter doesn’t enjoy freezing in the stands of countless football games, or spending hours on end in the sun at track meets anymore than he enjoys sitting through hours of a ballet performance…but they do it in support of one-another. Do they always choose to? No. If they could, they would probably choose to go hang out with a friend or do something else, but we as a family have decided that we support each other and cheer each other on no matter what.
We try to tell our kids that friends will come and go, but your family will be your “forever friends” for the rest of your life.

Proverbs 17:17 (NLT) says: “A friend is always loyal,and a brother is born to help in time of need.”

If we want to have healthy families and leave a Godly legacy, I truly believe that loyalty has to be on our radar of things we are working toward. Our homes need to be places where we are free to be ourselves and loved unconditionally without ridicule or fear of being “exposed” to the outside world. If we can’t trust those that we live with, who can we trust? If we raise children in an environment of distrust and betrayal by those closest to them, how can they even truly learn to trust a future spouse, or most-importantly, how will they trust Jesus with their whole life?

Our families are not perfect, and they never will be this side of heaven. But If I had to choose…I’d rather live with a bunch of sinners trying their best to love one-another and have each other’s backs than a bunch of self-seeking disloyal ones any day! And the good news is this: loyalty and trust can be built over time no matter how far off track you have gotten, you just have to make a priority, one day at a time, and before you know it, you will see the fruit of the changes you have made.

Blessings!

Kym

Looking at Lasts

“Firsts” are a big deal for us moms. We look forward to and celebrate all those “firsts” - first steps, first birthday, first words, first day of school, first lost tooth, etc… But have you ever considered that there will be a “lasts” too? Last time your child will want to be tucked in. The last time your daughter will dress up like a princess. The last time that feisty little boy will ask you to play Legos. The last time your child will be carried to bed? The tough thing about lasts is that there is no ceremony to it, no big anticipation. It just quietly goes away with little notice, until one day you realize it never happened again. Most of the time, the “lasts” happen and we don’t even remember when they happened. We simply notice that the dolls have been put away, the blankie is no longer needed, and the little boy looks like a man. As my children get older, I am painfully aware that even though we have many “firsts” yet to look forward to, the “lasts” are coming more and more frequently.
With this summer in mind, think about the lasts. What if the time your child asks you to swing him is the last time and you want to say no because you are too busy with laundry, but instead you say yes? What if your child asks you to hold her, and even though she is getting really heavy, you stop what you are doing and make the effort , only to realize later it was the last time you got to do that? Would it be worth it? Of course it would! Make your days count and parent with no regrets, and those “lasts” will be a treasured memory instead of something you wish you could do over.
Many Blessings,
Kym

Making Summer Memories That Matter

I knew a mom once that would enroll her kids in three or four different VBS programs at local churches because she thought it was a fun, easy, free, yet "good" activity to keep her kids busy and teach them about the Bible. I am all for church camp, VBS, etc., but the truth of the matter is, no one has more influence and responsibility for the spiritual training of kids more than the parents. You are the biggest influence in your child's life and when YOU teach them Biblical truth, it reaches their heart in a way nothing else can.

Maybe you don't feel equipped or that you know enough about the Bible to teach it to your kids. Get an age-appropriate devotional at your local Christian bookstore (or order one through our Legacy Moms Amazon affiliate store and then you help support us too!) and spend a few minutes each day this summer working through it. You'll be surprised at how much YOU learn too!

One book that I would recommend for everyone regardless of your Biblical knowledge is Parents Guide To The Spiritual Growth of Children: Helping Your Child Develop a Personal Faith. It is a jam-packed guide with everything you need broken down by age group, with topics to cover, activities to do, tips for parents, etc.

Doing something like this might take 10-20 minutes a day. Imagine what could happen in your family this summer if you devoted 10-20 minutes a day x 100 days of summer to the spiritual development of your family? That would equal approximately 25 hours invested in the eternity of your child! And it costs you next to nothing.

Here's another "fringe" benefit: this type of focused attention between you and your children will actually fill their emotional cup and create bonds between siblings as they talk about different issues, pray together and spend quality time with you where they are getting your undivided attention. You'll be surprised how it reduces the nagging, clingy, needy behavior some kids show when their need for your attention is filled in a positive way and they know they can count on it each day.

Many blessings to you for a productive and meaningful summer. Keep following us on Facebook and Twitter for more summer tips. Longer ones will be posted as blogs, shorter ones just as updates.

Kym

Happy Mother's Day!

I wrote this to our Legacy Moms back in in 2008 or 2007, but so many new moms have joined us that I decided to post it for all of you for Mothers Day:

Being a mom can be the most fulfilling and rewarding experience we as women will ever have. However, we all know that there are times when it is challenging, disappointing and there are times when it feels like the loneliest and most thankless job in the world. As I was trying to decide what I wanted to say to each of you this Mother's Day, I wondered what Jesus would say to me and to you if we were to talk to him about being a mom. So humor me here, but this is what I imagined Him saying:

"My beloved, I have loved you since the day you were formed in your own mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13-16) I have watched you grow and mature and become a mother yourself. Remember that time you looked at your baby and your heart filled with so much love that you thought it might burst? I was there, and I feel that way about you. (John 15: 9-17 )Remember that moment when your child did something that you knew was so amazing, but you dared not share with anyone because you knew that no one could really understand how great this small accomplishment really was? I was there, and I rejoiced with you. I also rejoice over your accomplishments great and small. (Luke 15:8-10) Remember the time your heart was broken because your child was disappointed and hurt and you couldn't give them what they needed? My heart broke too, but you both remain in the palm of My hand.
(Rom. 8:28) Remember when you worried that you weren't doing enough, that you aren't a good enough mother, and that you have "messed up" ? Well, I chose you to be the mother of your child for a reason. (Psalm 127:3) Please come to Me and listen to Me and I will show you the way. (John 10:3-10) Remember the time you cried alone in your room about the problem that seemed too much to bear? I was there to wipe your tears and comfort you. All you have to do is ask. (Matt. 7:7) I know this journey can be hard, confusing and wonderful all at the same time. I know that you think no one understands. I do, and I am molding you to be the person I created you to be. (Phil 1:6) Trust Me, walk with Me, and I will hold your hand and lead you to the blessings I have in store for you. Beloved, I have much in store for you if you will just follow ME, and lead your children to Me as well."

"Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her saying: Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all." - Proverbs 31:28,29

Happy Mothers Day, from all of us at Legacy Moms.
We pray for each and every one of you!

Love, The LM Leadership Team

Why?

A weird thing happened to me today. I found out that an organization that has nothing to do with us, Christian ministry or parenting had created a website using our name and a welcome video using our stated purposes, requesting that you give your name and e-mail address to join the “Legacy Moms Movement.” Well, I’m still not sure what their real intent was in this, but needless to say since Legacy Moms® is a registered trademark, those things have all been removed from the internet.

This got me thinking today about why some people will do things that they clearly know are illegal, unethical, immoral, or deceptive, just until they get caught. My guess is that when you have no moral compass or framework to judge right and wrong, then it is easy to think that the ends justify the means and that rules, laws and boundaries only matter when someone enforces them. The question is, how can we; as moms, teach our children to do the right thing-just because it is the right and moral thing, whether or not anyone would ever find out or not?

I believe the answer is in the way we present rules, boundaries and consequences. If we tell our kids what to do and what not to do, and imply that the only reason we obey rules is to avoid to consequences, then we are raising kids that can act moral when they need to, but don’t really have morals in their heart. This leads to adults who only stay within boundaries and laws when there is a risk of getting caught, and spend a lot of time finding ways to sneak around and hide their actions and choices. It also leads to the false belief that whatever pleasure or benefit comes from the choice is worth the consequence if and when it comes.

The remedy for this is to know why we do certain things, and why we don’t do other things in light of God’s Word because He is God and His Word is Truth. There is an absolute standard of right and wrong and it is found in the Bible. If we do the right thing because we love Him and have a personal relationship with Him, because we want to honor Him, and because we know that the boundaries of right and wrong laid out in the Bible are there for our own good, then we more often make moral decisions that hold others in high esteem and show personal dignity and responsibility. It’s not to avoid consequences, it’s because it sets us apart as believers. It’s all in the “why.”

By the way, if you happened to go to a site that you thought was us, and it sounded like us and what we are all about, yet required you to give your information to join, please let us know, especially if you are contacted for any reason.

Genesis 50:20 (New Living Translation)
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good."

Blessings!

Easter activity that creates memories!

If you have young children or grandchildren, this is a simple yet meaningful activity to do with them that really helps them grasp the true meaning of Easter. We will be doing this with our kids on Saturday night, hope you will too!

You will make these cookies and explain each part the night before Easter.

You need the following:

1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 cup sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon
tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300 degrees (this is important-don’t wait until you’re half done with the recipe!)

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces.
Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life.
Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl.
Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar.
Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isa. 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. Read Matt. 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.
Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.
Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed. Read Matt. 27:65-66.

GO TO BED!
Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter, Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matt. 28:1-9

Have a blessed Easter!

Martha, Martha!

My brother used to teasingly call me “Martha Stewart” when we were younger. I wish I could say it was because I am a wonderful cook, a brilliant hostess, keep a perfectly clean and organized home, and an artistically gifted decorator, but that wasn’t it. Actually it was because I can be a bit of a perfectionist, a “jack of all trades, master of none” and a Martha Stewart Wannabe in all things domestic.

Not long ago, as I was busy with all I needed to get done for the day, feeling quite proud of myself for how productive I had been and all that I was getting done, you know…doing my “Martha” routine…I walked into my teenage son’s room to clean it up and got in a huff. “Look at this mess!” I thought to myself. It wasn’t really that bad, his bed was made, but wrinkly, there were books and things on his bed, it was just “cluttered.” I thought to myself, “If you are going to make your bed, at least do it right, and why lay stuff on top of it after it is made?” (See, I told you I can be a bit picky!)

So, as I began to vacuum all the little “paper pieces” that fly out when you rip paper out of a spiral notebook, (a mom definitely did not invent spiral notebooks!) I closed his bedroom door so I could vacuum behind it and noticed a post-it note on the back of the door. It read “Do your quiet time” and it was in my son’s handwriting.
Suddenly, the story of Mary and Martha in The Bible came flooding into my heart and mind. Here’s how it reads in The Message:

“As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. "Master, don't you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand." The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her.” Luke 10:38-42

After reading his reminder on his door, I took a closer look at the “mess” on his bed. I then saw it was his Bible and daily devotional he got from Kanakuk, which quickly made me realize that in my hurry to get things “done” that day, I had not taken time out to read The Word or pray....but my son had, even if it meant he had to quickly make his bed before school. Martha indeed! No Martha Stewart here…but another kind of Martha for sure. He made time for the most important thing, while I was all worked up and missing out on time sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Don’t you love it when God uses your kids to speak to you and gently rebuke you when you are wrong?! I do! My hope is that I can change my legacy - not to be a “Martha Stewart Wannabe” and not to be “Martha” at all. I hope my legacy is that I was most like Mary.

God Bless!

Can a family change in just one month?

Do you believe in the power of prayer? What do you think would happen if we humbly approached the throne of God for 31 days straight on behalf of our children in order to bring about Godly character in their lives? I think we might see amazing things happening in our families and our communities. Join us as Legacy Moms all over the country embark on a powerful month of prayer for our children in the month of March. Here's how it will work: through our Facebook Fan Page, each day in March we will send out a specific character quality with verses for you to pray for your children following a program developed by Bob Hostettler. Just make sure to check each day for the update. (Become a fan at www.facebook.com/LegacyMoms )

Can you imagine all of us praying about, focusing on, and discussing with our children the same thing on the same day? WOW! If you are not already, make sure to become a fan on Facebook so you can join us. And make sure to "suggest to friends," share the links on your own page and see how many moms we can lock arms with in prayer and witness the radical transformation of our families that can only come through prayer.

Are you ready? Well, here's a few tips. First of all, it's great to silently pray each day for your children, but consider also saying the prayer with your children and let them in on what you are asking God for in their life. Discuss each quality, point it out when you see it, and help them understand what it would like in your family. (For example, on the day we pray for responsibility...use the verses and the prayer to open up a dialogue about what that would look like in practical terms in their life.) Also, keep in mind that you can not expect God to take your children any further than you yourself are willing to go. ( Ouch...I know! ) But, if we are going to pray for our children to possess Godly character, we must be showing it in our own lives. So start praying now and ask God to convict you and show you where you have fallen short and ask Him through his grace and mercy to mold you into the Legacy Mom He created you to be....passing a truly Godly legacy to your family through your thoughts, your words and your actions.

We can't wait to hear how God moves in your family. Write on our wall on the Facebook page or send us an e-mail and let us know about the victories big and small!

Blessings,

Kym

Special Announcement for DFW Legacy Moms!

Covenant Christian Academy in Colleyville, Texas is hosting a Live Via Satellite Event with Beth Moore entitled "So Long, Insecurity" on Saturday, April 24th from 9 am to 3 pm. Tickets are $25 each (includes lunch) but one lucky (blessed!) winner at this month's Legacy Moms is going to win 2 free tickets courtesy of Covenant Christian Academy! Make sure you are there for your chance to win! (We will have a limited amount of tickets for purchase there if you don't win.) To purchase tickets online or to get more detailed info click here www.ccanet.org/beth-moore-so-long-insecurity-simulcast-event/

I will be there, along with lots of other Legacy Moms, and I hope you can join us for this fun day of fellowship. I hope to see you Monday and I hope YOU win!!! : ) See our events page on Facebook or our website for info on this month's topic.

Blessings,

Kym

Ink Commitments

We are blessed with one of the most talented teams I think any organization could have. One of those incredible leaders, Elizabeth Fowler (those are her adorable kids) , wrote this and I couldn't wait to share it with you. I pray it helps you think about the commitments you make this year and which of those things will really impact your family in a positive way:

"I ordered my 2010 calendar online so it could be just like I like it: Month-at-a-glance with space on the side to make notes. Now it's time to go back through last year's calendar and transfer important dates to remember like birthdays, anniversaries, and hopefully schedule a vacation! Some things go on the calendar with pencil (like gym classes) but some go in ink. Legacy Moms is one of those ink commitments and I'd like to share why.

In Ezekiel 3:17 God tells Ezekiel, "I have made you watchman for the house of Israel." I believe God has made me a watchman over the house of Fowler and also, in a sense, a watchman over my children's hearts.

My #1 goal as a parent is to raise Godly children, but is so easy to lose sight of that goal in the busyness of day to day life. And what do "Godly children" look like anyway? Legacy Moms keeps me focused on my goal and gives me the tools to define what godliness looks like in my children and in my parenting.

Over my years with my legacy friends, I have learned things like what to do instead of counting to three to have my children obey me, how to establish healthy sleep patterns for my baby, how to encourage my children to become each other's best friend, how not to "carry the rock" but parent WITH my husband with him as the leader of our home, detailed advice about how and when to tell my children about sex, how to make summers memorable and fun for my children (and me!), how to teach them to make wise choices and how to make it right when they sin, just to name some of the material we have covered.

No question or topic has ever been off-limits. We have shared our struggles, hurts and disappointments. When I have been at my lowest parenting low, I have turned to Kym and/or another Legacy Mom for comfort and advice. My Legacy friends have also been there to celebrate the highest highs. I truly feel we are on the parenting journey together.

As you consider the mom role that God has given you and you look to the year ahead, I pray you will make an "ink commitment" to Legacy Moms and join me on the last Monday night of every month a time of re-focusing and encouragement. Together we will strive to be good and faithful watchmen over our children's hearts and raise Godly children.

Elizabeth Fowler

Thanks, Elizabeth, for sharing your heart with us. Did this inspire and motivate you?! It did me! I love getting to parent with a "villiage" of other Christian moms to support and encourage me! Join us this month, on January 25th at 7 pm as we talk about teaching our children to have forgiving spirits. We will look at the difference between "I'm sorry" and "Will you forgive me" and what it really means to forgive someone and get past hurt and resentment and revenge. Those patterns begin early in childhood and can rip a family apart. Forgiveness is the key to a life of peace. Join us and find out how to bring some PEACE to your home!