Scott Wilder at Legacy Moms

Wow! At our last Legacy Moms meeting, we had Scott Wilder, host of "The Scott Wilder Show" on KWRD 100.7 FM visit with us and share with us some amazing stories about his adventures taking Bibles to countries where it is illegal to do so. The feedback on his time with us has been amazing! People have told me that the things he shared "changed them" and that they would never forget what they learned that night. What a blessing it was for all who came. This is what being a Legacy Mom really is: getting outside ourselves and our little bubble and caring about what God cares about!

Here is just one of the stories he shared with us:

While those who bring Bibles into the country face some risk, the real risk is faced by those inside the country who work as couriers taking Bibles to the house churches and to the villages. While those from outside are not treated so poorly, those inside the country who do this work often face prison sentences to work hard labor. The charges are so vague as to be impossible to defend oneself against.
We heard many stories of people who are right now working in re-education camps in the People's Republic of China. Here is just one:Three people were transporting scriptures from one village to another and they were stopped by the authorities. Of course, they were detained and arrested and the scriptures were confiscated.
They were put in prison and for the first several days they were really beaten very severely. They were given only water to drink, nothing to eat. After about four days of that, they took these three people, all men, out into the village square.
The Police chief said, 'We're going to have a great celebration and you people are going to be the center of it all.' He said that very sarcastically so these three people knew that this was not going to be anything good.
They got out to the village square and there was a huge crowd of people that the authorities had gathered to observe this event. In the middle of all these people was a table. Remember that these men hadn't eaten in four days. They'd had a bit to drink, but nothing to eat.
On this table were three piles of food: some rice, some rice cakes, and some sweet foods. Quite a bit of food in three piles. Each man was asked to stand behind a pile of food at the table.
Then the officer said to them, "All you have to do to get your freedom is to simply indicate that you will stop witnessing, that you'll stop transporting these Bibles, by stepping forward and eating the food. You don't have to say anything. Just step forward and eat the food. That will be the indication that you're going to quit."And he said, "And there's nothing you can do to save these books!" and he pointed to the end of the table where all the Bibles that had been confiscated were piled on the ground.
"Ah," he said, "but there is something you can do to save these books."
And from under the table, he took three rice bowls filled with sewer water. (We saw these open sewers along the side of the road...what they call a benjo ditch. This sewer water is thick black sludge...human waste. That is what was in these bowls.)
The officer said, "If you drink these bowls of sewer water, you can have these books."
After he had said that, the three men, without a moment of hesitation, stepped forward and each of them drank the bowls of sewer water.
Of course, the authorities didn't know what to do because they had promised that they could keep the books. The crowd understood that the authorities would lose face if the they'd kept the books. There were many Christians in the crowd looking, so some in the crowd came forward and took the books for their use.
The three men were put back in prison. They suffered for another seven days. They were beaten some more, but finally they were released.
The amazing thing is that none of the men got sick. Normally, if you were to drink that sewer water, you'd probably die. In some miraculous way, God protected these three people.
Everything the authorities try to do in a sense backfires and that was a tremendous witness to the people of that village. Seven months after this event, there were 800 baptisms in the village where this had taken place.
Now the need for Bibles was greater than ever.

Thank you all who came and shared a wonderful evening with us! Hopefully during this time with so much uncertainty about our country, we can all be reassured that our God is sovereign and that His hand in on his children.

Will Work for Skittles!

One of our members of our leadership team, Elizabeth Fowler, sent me this funny story and I just had to share it with you. Maybe you can relate and get some creative ideas of your own! She wrote:

"I have a cute idea to share with you.
We always talk to the kids about seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked (not to mention just picking up their own stuff). I have noticed lately that I am doing way to much picking up around the house.
Yesterday the trash was over-full & I am the one who would do it. I decided to leave it in there to see if anyone else who lives in our house might see the need and take it out. However, I put a mini-pack of skittles under the bag for the person who took it out to find and enjoy (as a special surprise reward) for their servant heart.
You know how it went. Even though it was tied up in the container (HINT, HINT), everyone just stuffed more and more trash in. Someone even set a piece of trash on top of the tied up bag. What is that!?
So this morning, we talked about leadership, serving, seeing needs around them, etc & I showed them the skittles.
Then I told them that for fun, I would hide the skittles every day in or by a job that needed to be done. With a one year old in the house there are always toys to be picked up, food to be cleaned up, etc. They were so excited.
Maybe I'll even put some in the dishwasher this afternoon!!!!"

Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth! But beware of leaving candy around!!! Have you read my post about the mice???? They don't help out like the ones on Cinderella! If only......

God Bless!

Get to know.....GINGER PELLETIER!

On this "get to know..." post, I want to introduce you to Ginger Pelletier. Ginger has been with Legacy Moms from the beginning....and many years before our little group turned into Legacy Moms! I first met Ginger and Jeff when they were pregnant with their first baby and they attended a parenting class we were helping to teach. It has been such a privilege and joy to see what God has done through them as their family has grown and how they now minister to others through parenting classes and marriage classes. If you were at our annual "Dad's Night" this summer, you got a chance to hear Ginger and Jeff talk about marriage and you saw first hand how great they are. We are so privileged to have Ginger on the team!

Ginger, describe some of the things you do at Legacy Moms?

I serve as a table facilitator/ coffee maker/ encourager to mommies!


Tell me about your family.

My husband, Jeff and I celebrated our 13th anniversary on August 19th! Being married to him has been a blast. Our oldest son, Justin is 9 years old. Our daughter Maegan is 7 and youngest son, Ryan is 5. The older two children attend Coram Deo Academy. This school affords them the opportunity to have classroom instruction two days a week on campus and spend the other days at home with me…making sure that they complete all their assignments before the next day of class. I’ve decided to have Ryan stay home from pre-school this next year and hang out with me. Being the third child, I feel like he gets the short end of the stick much too often and I’m enjoying the hang time with him! We have a dog, Charlie. He’s a mutt and we love him. As a family, we like to snow ski, hang at the beach, bike ride, camp in a tent, go to the lake and read together.

Where do you go to church and what sort of things are you involved in there?

We have been members of Fellowship Church for 12 years. Jeff and I enjoy serving together in ministry. We serve in the married life ministry where our purpose is encouraging and strengthening marriages. Serving in the Parenting Ministry allows us to minister to families as they maneuver through some of the toughest season’s of their lives. And last, but not least, we love to help in the Kids ministry during special events. Serving at kids’ camp for the first time this summer was wonderful!

What is the most rewarding part of being involved in LM for you?

Gleaning wisdom from Kym! God has used her to shape the way that I view my role as a wife and mother. I have been equipped in parenting and can partner with my husband and the Holy Spirit to bring these little ones to moral maturity…God willing! When I am not doing such a great job, I can rely on my Legacy friends to lift me up, put things into perspective and set me off on the right path. I have a safe place to go when I need to admit my inadequacy, failure, struggles and needs. It’s a blessing to have their support and this is why I serve in this ministry; to give other mom’s the same safe place! It’s both rewarding to give and receive!!!


When did you become a Christian?

In college. I lay in my bed one night crying because of the mess I made of my grades, friendships and work situation. For the first time in ever I got an overwhelming knowledge of God. I was so embarrassed that I had not thought about Him or lived for Him…ever! I asked God to forgive me and to please help me out of the mess I made of my life. I had no idea how to get to God. A week later I was at work as a waitress and a handsome young lad was sitting at one of my tables. I realized that I knew him from my hometown. So we made the connection with one another and went on a date….water skiing! He then began to take me to church and introduce me to Jesus and encourage me to trust in Him. I accepted Jesus into my life a few months later and then married the boy!


Finish these statements:

If you see me around town it would most likely be at: The grocery store! Why can’t I seem to make just one trip? Lifetime Fitness in Flower Mound….Love It! The Lewisville Library.


The last great book I read was: Lord, Change My Attitude before it’s too Late by James MacDonald. I didn’t know I had an attitude problem till I read this book. It’s great!

My favorite part of being a mom is: Hanging out with these cool kids. Now that the kids are a bit older, we have the best time together. Conversations are meaningful and thought provoking, recreation is more fun than a beating and it seems like we work more as a team to keep the house running than me doing everything for everyone all the time!

The most challenging part of being a mom is: Parenting! Pinpointing behaviors and putting wise words to correcting attitudes is challenging for me. Balancing time between the three is seemingly impossible and I constantly feel like I’m failing someone. If I get all my chores and to do list done, I find that I’ve ignored the kids all day. Will I ever learn to do both? Who knows! I find myself staying up late to get things done and telling the Lord to help me cherish every moment of these child rearing years because once they are gone, I’ll miss the commotion. I sure do love my kids!

The best advice I have ever received was: This is just a season of your life and you should embrace it instead of wishing it away. This was most helpful when I had three children in preschool/diapers. I remember it being very challenging physically, emotionally and relationally.

My family would describe me as: Just asked my kids. Justin said that I “am loving, joyful, happy, spiritual and strict”. Maegan said that I’m “nice, cute, helpful and that’s all”. Ryan says that I “praise Jesus, like daddy, and like our hamster”.

The lesson God has been teaching me lately is: To have an eternal perspective with my husband and kids. He’s been helping me let go of feeling like I should always say “yes” to every volunteer and social opportunity. I spend as much time as possible at home. I don’t talk to my friends nearly as much as I desire, but am honoring God by keeping my schedule manageable for our family’s sake. And keeping myself available for Kingdom Moments!

When my kids are grown, the thing I hope that remember about me the most is: I loved every minute spent with them. That I always encouraged them to lean on Jesus and develop a personal relationship with Him. I pray that they will always know that it was not I who raised and parented them; it was the strength and wisdom of the Holy Spirit through me that did it. All glory be to God!

What I wish I had known when I first started having kids that I know now: Everyone talks about how your life is changed when you have kids. “You’ll never love anyone as much as you love your kids” I wish that I would have known how much my marriage was going to change. Jeff and I had never had a disagreement before these little munchkins came along. It is a constant battle to stay connected both to one another in our marriage relationship and stay on the same page in parenting. We have grown so much through our parenting experience.

Thank you, Ginger, for sharing your heart and your time with us!

Get to know....Shelly Moss!

Shelly is such a fun person and really, deeply, cares about people. God sent her to Legacy Moms during the development stages and although I knew then it was a blessing, I didn't fully understand or appreciate what an absolute GIFT she would be to the ministry! We could not have gotten Legacy Moms off the ground as quickly as we did without her tireless work and expertise. I'm excited for you to get to know her:

What is your role in Legacy Moms? I am the legal counsel (and board member)

Tell me about your family? My Husband is Rodney Moss and we have 4 children, Hannah 15, Ian 13, Olivia 10 and Sophie 9. We also have 3 dogs, a guinea pig and a hamster.

Where do you go to church and what sort of things are you involved in there? We attend Fellowship Church. We have done volunteer work, Hometeam Leadership and we are about to get involved in the mission trips.

What is the most rewarding part of being involved in LM for you? Sharing. Knowing that as Christian Moms that we are not alone. We have Sisters in Christ how can stand with us as we raise our children to know Jesus.

When did you become a Christian? I became a Christian at the Calgary Baptist Church in Paris, Texas when I was in third grade. It was my Grandmother’s Church and she took me there when ever we visited. She never missed Church and she is still one of the Christian women I look to as a role model.

Finish these statements:

If you see me around town it would most likely be at: a sporting event for a child

The last great book I read was: Same Kind of Different as Me. It is an awesome book and everyone should read it!

My favorite part of being a mom is: Just being there, being part of their lives, dreaming of what they will do and who they will become

The most challenging part of being a mom is: Discipline. To discipline in a meaningful way, as a correction, not as a result of my short temper.

My favorite saying: You can ask for anything as long as you are willing to accept “No” for the answer.

My family would describe me as: Caring. They know that I care about each of them and what they are doing and how they are feeling.

The lesson God has been teaching me lately is: That I can’t please everyone. I have please God and He will work out the rest.

When my kids are grown, the thing I hope that remember about me the most is: That I loved God first, My Husband second and them third. I hope they go on to do the same.

What I wish I had known when I first started having kids that I know now: That the time really does fly and you should enjoy every single moment and I mean every moment!

Thanks, Shelly! We are blessed to have you on the team!

Get to know.....MICHELE RICHARDSON

Hi there!

One of the greatest privileges I have in my life is being involved in Legacy Moms, mainly because I get to be surrounded by the incredible women that make up our leadership team. They are truly remarkable women and I am really humbled to get to serve alongside them. I have learned so much from them. These are the women that sharpen me, hold me accountable, and listen when I need a friend. I would love for you to get to know each and every one one of them. So, every now and then I will feature one of them in The Journal. I hope that as you read the interviews, you will feel like you just sat down over a cup of coffee and got to know them personally. I also hope that as you get to know more about different people on our team, you will come to Legacy Moms, sit at different tables, and let us get to know you, too!

It is only fitting that I start with Michele Richardson, who is really the "hands and feet" of Legacy Moms, one of my dearest friends and someone I admire greatly:

What is your role in Legacy Moms? Co- Founder, VP and administrative coordinator to the leadership team

Tell me about your family. I have a godly husband, Toby. We have been married 16 years. Our three children are Graham (13), Kayli (10) and Ty is 7 years old. Toby is a territory manager for a company called Secure Computing. He works out of our home office which can be a blessing but also difficult in the summer with three loud kids who have friends over all the time! My children go to Liberty Christian School and love it! Graham is on the 8th grade football team. Kayli plays select softball with a group of Liberty friends and is very social. Ty is my outgoing, never met a stranger type of kid... He makes friends so easily. He loves Legos and action figures and can talk to a wall :)!

Where do you go to church and what sort of things are you involved in there?
We have been members at Fellowship Church for 16 years. Over the course of 16 years we have served as Sunday school/preschool teachers, Kindergarten leaders, HomeTeam leaders, Adventure Week volunteers, Prep. For Toddler leaders, Prep. For Parenting leaders, Growing Kids God way leaders, Reflections of Moral Innocence helpers and First Time Visitor Guides. We are currently HomeTeam Leaders in Southlake. We recently moved to Bartonville (Argyle) to be closer to the kids school which is making the drive to church more of a challenge... Especially the youth Wednesday night activities. So we are in prayer as to God’s will if we should find a new home church. What a difficult decision when we have been so blessed at FC for so long!

What is the most rewarding part of being involved in LM for you?
I love sitting around the table each month and hearing all that God is doing in the lives of the women at my table. Their stories encourage me and uplift me to be the best mom I can be. It is as if God has given Kym the perfect topic each month just for me to speak to my heart .

When did you become a Christian?
September 27, 1988. I was a sophomore at TCU and met a guy who loved Jesus. His example was so powerful in my life that I finally realized that all I needed to do was ask God to take control of my life and accept the gift of salvation without having to be perfect.... His grace was all I needed! So, in my dorm room that night, I got on my knees and asked Jesus into my heart and life hasn’t been the same since.... What a joy filled life I now live :)... God is so good!

Finish these statements:

If you see me around town it would most likely be at: the gym taking step classes, jogging around my neighborhood or playing tennis in Southlake.

The last great book I read was: The Shack by William P. Young.... Great book!

My favorite part of being a mom is: the hugs my 7 year old still gives, my sweet daughter always telling me she loves me and the deep talks about God I have with my teenager.

The most challenging part of being a mom is: Seeing my kids go through challenging times and letting God help them through it. I so badly want to go in and try to “fix it” for them.

The best advice I have ever received was: My mother-in-law is always giving me great godly advice and she is the one who has told me to let God work in my kids lives at a young age because she felt like she always went in the “fix” their problems and therefore they had to go through them again as adults etc...

My family would describe me as: Laid back and spontaneous.

The lesson God has been teaching me lately is: to trust my husband with all the decisions for our family. God has put him as head of this household and I need to follow his lead. I have known this for 16 years of marriage but when hard times come, I want to take control myself!

When my kids are grown, the thing I hope that remember about me the most is: My daily quiet times in the mornings... Praying and studying God’s word.

What I wish I had known when I first started having kids that I know now: what a great responsibility God has given me to raise these kids to follow Him and be servants for His kingdom. At first I thought it was all about the joy of having a family (and the tough times of nursing them and diapers etc..... )... now I know and hope my kiddos will grow to love Him with all their hearts and serve Him deeply as adults. I can’t wait to see what God does in their lives.

Thanks Michele! You are a blessing.

A Boy Story

We have a lot of wildlife around our house. We live near a river and have lots of trees, so we get to experience a lot of different "critters." For example, in the past three months I have witnessed a group of five (yes, I said five) armadillos making their way across our backyard, I've looked out the window and witnessed a hawk swooping down to pick up a snake, then backing off when the snake reared up at it, and we had a few mice move in with us (temporarily) when I went out of town unexpectedly and my children left a pixie stick and a Tootsie-Roll pop in our garage, along with a trail of Goldfish crumbs leading to our kitchen and practically hung a "Welcome" sign on the door. We also had a blue-tailed skink (I really have no idea what that is, but that's what Cameron called it) running around our living room last week which he had to catch in a jar and take outside before I had a meltdown.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not a big fan of little critters when they are in my living space! Don't get me wrong, I love the bunnies that live in our yard and the squirrels don't bother me a bit, but the creepy things literally make my skin crawl! My boys have learned that I do not really want to see the frog, or the lizard, or the dead anything that they found outside.
Well, today just takes the cake! You see, we were running late to football camp, so I told Cameron to grab his football shoes (which are kept in the garage) and put them on in the car because I didn't have time to wait for him to tie them. (That is a whole other story that you are probably familiar with if you come to Legacy Moms!)
Anyway, we are driving on the highway when Cameron sticks his foot in his shoe and yells out, 'Oh, Man! That is gross!" First of all, I'm trying to drive on the freeway. Suddenly yelling out was mistake #1. Secondly, I know those shoes have been in the garage and my mind is spinning....is something about to come out? What if it touches me? How quickly can I pull over and get out of this car??? Thirdly, do you have any idea how gross it must be if HE things it is gross???
So I ask Cameron what it is and with a look of disgust, he tells me that there is a baby snake, cut in half, now smashed inside his shoe. He then goes into detail about how the blood and guts are all squished inside his shoe and the eyes are still looking up at him. At this point, I am about to get sick (especially since I am getting over a little stomach bug as it is!)
We pull over and Cameron shakes the smooshed baby snake carcass out of his shoe and then proceeds to just put his shoe back on! As if nothing happened! When seeing my look of horror, he looks at me and says "I'm just glad I have socks on!" Then he laughs and says to me "Hey, mom! There's a snake in my boots! Ha Ha! Just like Woody in Toy Story!"
All I can say is, I sure am glad I have a mini-man in my life that can handle all these traumatic events for me when the Big Man isn't around! And then just laugh about it! That's my BOY! He's gonna make some girl a really good husband one day!

God Bless!

'Tween Girls

If you have a daughter between the ages of 7-12, you know how busy and preoccupied she can become. From Hanna Montana to American Girl dolls, to friends, Webkinz, dance class and sports, your daughter has many different things fighting for her attention. This is a time when girls are starting to figure out who they are and what kind of young women they want to be.
As a mom, you might feel her pulling away from you and you may sense that there is tension there. You might be sailing through thinking that the hard part of parenting has ended and she doesn’t really require so much of your attention anymore. But the fact is, she needs you now more than ever! She wants your focus and your attention (even if she doesn't always act like it) and she wants to bond with you so that she can carry on the Legacy that you are creating, With everything that is influencing her, don't you want to be the biggest influence? Can you be the biggest influence if you haven't established trust with her and have a bond that pulls her toward you instead of away from you?
That's why we are offering the first ever “Little Legacies” Mother-Daughter Workshop for Legacy Moms and their daughters ages 7-12! It will be a day of fun, learning and bonding that she will never forget. Click on the link below for more info and to register. Space is limited, so don't delay! Remember...she won't be this age forever, and the time to build the bridge is NOW!
http://legacymoms.org/registration.aspx
I look forward to seeing you there!

I want more.

Do you ever find yourself looking forward to that next "big thing", only to find that it didn't really fulfill you and now you are focused on the next one? I think we all suffer from a lack of contentment from time to time. Maybe it's the next big trip, or that piece of furniture or jewelry that you've been eye-balling forever. Maybe you think to yourself, "Things will be great once (fill in the blank) happens." Maybe you think your life will be so much better if you had a new house, or a new car, or once your kids start school, or your husband gets a better job, or when you get pregnant, or your kids are potty-trained. Then, once that happens, you realize that you still aren't fulfilled and there is something else you want, need and wish for. Our sinful, human nature is so bent toward missing the joy of the here-and-now because we consume ourselves with what we don't have. I can be the world's worst about that! I have (through years of trial and error!) had to learn to focus on the blessings of the present while still having hope for the future. I have tried hard not to pass this on to my children. I really want them to be glass-half-full people like my husband. Today, my daughter Jordan wrote a poem that I thought I would share with you:

I Want More!

by Jordan Carter

age 9

When I get four,

I want more!

When I get nine,

It's still not fine.

When I get twenty,

I do not have plenty.

When I get a million,

Why not a billion?

Maybe that's not what life was meant,

Maybe I should learn to be content.

May you and I find joy and contentment right where we are today! Thanks, Jordan, for the reminder. Out of the mouths of babes........

God Bless!

Time Flies

It seems like just yesterday, but twelve years ago (tomorrow) my life was forever changed. I gave birth to my first child and I became someone's MOM! There are some in this world who see having a baby as something that "happens" to you, something that needs to be "dealt with" or an inconvenience or obstacle to overcome in order to reach their "real" calling in life, but not me! I know that God doesn't see it that way, either. God values moms.

It was after I became a mom that I learned God had a purpose and calling for my life. Now, I must admit, I didn't figure this out over-night. I also must admit that there are many rewarding aspects to my life, such as being married to a wonderful husband and having really deep, like-minded friends that have stretched me and supported me, but being a mom has been so crucial in my growth as a Christian. It has been a journey, a process of discovering just who I am and how God wants me to use my talents, my life experiences and my mistakes to grow and become who He called me to be. Quite simply: He has used my children to draw me closer to Him!

I heard that one of the Legacy Moms said that God used her son to "soften her heart" towards God. How true for most of us!

I'm not a perfect mom. In fact, there are days I'm not even a very good mom. I can be impatient, cranky and overwhelmed. But when I hear the laughter of my children, when I see the smile on their faces and feel their arms around me, I know that they are gifts from a loving God and He must love me an awful lot to let me be their mom! I also know that nothing....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING....can be as rewarding as knowing that my kids are happy, that they know they are loved and they feel secure, and that I am teaching them to know Jesus and love Him.

Tomorrow is bitter-sweet for me. My little boy is turning 12 and is becoming more and more of a Godly young man everyday. I am so thankful for the past 12 years and can't wait to see what God teaches me over the next 12 years! Time is short and they are all growing up so fast. My greatest hope is that I make the most of the time I have and don't waste a single moment on things that are temporary and insignificant.

Well, I have to go for now....my five-year-old just asked me to hold him. In the blink of an eye, he'll be 12 too , so I better hold him while I can!

Blessings!

The rest is up to you!

Our leadership team just returned about a week ago from our 2nd Annual Legacy Moms Leadership Team Retreat. It was such a great time for all of us to get refreshed and refocused on what God has in store for us personally as moms, but also for Legacy Moms as a whole. We are so excited to see what God has in store for all of you through this ministry!
One of the things we talked about is the healing and restoration that we go should through after a time of wandering away or after a dark time in our life. The steps can be found right there in a familiar passage, The 23rd Psalm:

"The LORD is my shepherd; I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name."

You see, we are often just like sheep: stressed, cast-down, wandering away. But Jesus, our good shepherd, wants to restore us and strengthen us, but we have to take that first step. The first step is to REST.
Rest???!!!! Do you even remember what that is? As moms, our lives are often so full of noise and activities that we think we have no time for rest. God gives us rest. But we have to go to Him for that. He knows we need it and when we honestly come before Him weak and weary, He will give us rest. It is easy for us to keep ourselves busy and "productive" and distracted, but we must take time to be still, to be quiet, and let him give us rest.
AFTER we have rested, then He strengthens us, refreshes us, and heals us. But it starts with rest. Many times, after we have gone though a season of darkness and stress and are worn down, if we allow Him to restore us and build us back up, we are more refined and better than we were before. Finally, after rest and strengthening, He takes us by the hand and gently leads us back along the right path. The path that is full of peace and brings honor to His name. That is the place where we are truly leaving a legacy to our children. A legacy that teaches that we all go through hard times, we all feel cast down at times and burdened. But there is hope and healing and restoration available if we take our burdens to Jesus.

It starts with resting in Him. Take time out from the hustle and bustle of your life and just spend time with Him and let Him give you rest. It will do you some good! God Bless!

Think Before You Speak

Have you ever noticed how judgmental we parents can be of other parents? How we tend to make assumptions about other people and their situations and diagnose their problems (as if we have all of our own stuff figured out!) Shouldn't we, who are in the trenches of motherhood, be the most understanding and helpful to other moms in need? Instead of giving them dirty looks, jumping to conclusions about their lack of parenting skills, or making rude comments? And if we see a child that is different, shouldn't we be kind and caring to that child instead of adding to their feelings of isolation by staring and pointing?

A few years ago, I got a tiny taste of what it must feel like to have a child that is different. Caedmon, (who is now a very healthy 5-year-old) was diagnosed with a kidney condition called Nephrotic Syndrome when he was just 1 year old. He was put on steroids for almost 4 months in order to solve the issue. During that time, the steroids caused him to balloon in size. (The photo was taken during treatment.) At one point he got so big he looked like an obese child. Once, a woman walked up to him and said, 'Well honey, does your mama ever tell you no? You don't look like you've ever missed a meal." Another time, as we walked in to a restaurant as a family, I saw someone gesture over to us and point to my older two children, then they puffed out their cheeks and pointed at Caedmon, laughing, I guess trying to figure out why he was the only one that looked so "fat." It crushed me to think that there are children (and moms) who go through this kind of thing their whole lives.

Recently, I received an e-mail from a mom of an autistic child that broke my heart and I felt everyone should read it. I edited the names to protect their identity. This is what it said:

"I don't know who I am sending this to or why I am sending it, I guess I just need to vent so I am putting it in writing. Most of you know G. and know the issues we have dealt with his entire life. He is such a great boy and works so hard at school and at therapy to overcome his obstacles the best he can. What most of you aren't aware of, except my playdate friends, is the rudeness we encounter from strangers on a weekly basis when G. acts up in public. I have been very strong and normally don't let people get to me, but the person today just sent me over my threshold of patience where I felt that I need to tell and ask for help from my friends and family.

So let me just re-enact the scene. I took the kids by myself to Chik-fil-A and G. has gotten really good playing in the play area. C. was sitting at a table with me eating and G. had finished eating so had gone into the play area. There were about 15 kids packed in this small play area and only one way to get into the jungle gym. There were about 5 kids (two of them under two years) clogging up the tunnel to go up. G. climbed right over them, pushing along the way. He does not have a problem pushing kids for no reason, but when they are in his way, he just pushes through because he can't say, "Hey kid, please move so I can get by."

Anyway, he pushed a little girl, who was about 18 months old and shouldn't be in there anyway and she started crying. I immediately went into the play area to have a talk with him, which he responds really well to and the three parents in there were looking for his mom and I heard this man say, "Well obviously there is something going on with him" and I asked who they were talking about and they said the boy in the blue shirt. I said it was my son and he had autism and he doesn't understand how to wait for the tunnel and not push his way through.

The man and ladies seemed fine and I pulled G. aside and had a long talk with him and then I headed back to the table to check on C., who was all by herself. The man said, 'You aren't leaving, are you?"'and I said, 'My three year old is out there by herself, do I need to stay?' and he said, 'Well the other kids shouldn't have to be punished because of him.'

I just stood there for a second soaking that statement in and the fire in my head started to boil. G. was so scared at that point that he was playing with a wheel at the bottom and not even near another kid. I told G. he was a good boy but that we needed to leave and I took him back to the table and just started crying. I just want him to be able to play in a play area with other kids. He has had 5 years of multiple therapies, thousands of thousands of dollars spent on getting him "normal" enough to take into public and not have someone say rude things like these. It breaks my heart for him and for me that we are treated like this. This is about the millionth time something like this has happened to me, in fact, I have been trying to come back with a good line to say with when this happens.
So, I don't have a clue to what you guys can do to help me. I guess, I just wanted to let people see some of the daily life of autism and what we have to deal with on top of all the other things we are dealing with, like insurance and not knowing if our son will ever read or not. It is not an easy life and we don't complain much about our struggles or the path that God choose for us, but we have them and sometimes it can overcome someone when a rude person makes a comment like this. If you can just take the time when you see a child that has special needs and don't judge them or stare at them or say mean things to their parents. Instead, ask if you can help with anything, tell them you know someone who has a special little boy and he is the greatest gift ever!

Well, thanks for reading my story, or if it was too long, I am sorry, like I said I just had to vent. If you can pass this along so that people can be made aware of what parents of special needs kiddos have to face just to get a chicken sandwich..."

My heart breaks for that mom and her little boy. We moms need to stick together and be advocates for ALL kids, not just our own. I hope that we can all learn to think before we speak and give people a little grace. You never know what someone is going through and making a rude comment or making assumptions about what you think is going on is never helpful in a situation. Our children need love and acceptance. They need understanding. They need someone to stick up for them and be their friend. Are you teaching your children to be kind to others, or to be critical and judgmental? They are watching every move you make. If we are Christ followers, our hearts need to break for those in need: be it physical, emotional, or spiritual. We need to teach our children and model for them what it looks like to reach out to those in need and give a kind word or some encouragement.

"Then the King will say to those on the right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.' " Then these righteous ones will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison, and visit you?' And the King will tell them, 'I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!' " Matt. 25:34-40

God Bless!

Jump in!

Many years ago, after my (now) husband and I had been dating for a couple of years, it became obvious that our relationship was headed toward marriage. I suddenly became very discontent and felt wish-washy about everything. I found myself obsessing about every little thing and worrying about the future. I was constantly asking myself, "What if...." this and "What about...." that. I was worried about making a mistake. I would think, "Is this the man God has for me?" I knew I loved him and wanted to marry him, but I was desperately afraid to make a mistake and commit. Even though I really wanted him to be "the one," I kept expecting some "sign" from God so I could know for sure. So, I spent the next 6 months in turmoil, worrying, and over-analyzing everything. Now, keep in mind that all of this was mostly taking place in my own private thoughts, and he was basically oblivious to my inner struggle. He thought things were great! (Isn't that so typical!)
Finally, after seeking wise counsel and much prayer, I decided to trust God that this was, indeed, the man for me, and just in the nick of time! Soon after he proposed and I accepted.
Here is why I tell you this story....after I decided to commit and made a decision and knew for sure that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with, all those little "issues" that I was so worried about just went away! I had peace, the little things didn't matter that much anymore, and I knew where I was headed....even if I didn't know all the details....I knew I was committed 100% to being his wife and it felt great to have some clarity about it.
So, are you feeling discontent and worried about where you are at in your life? Is it possible that you are "on the fence" in your relationship with Christ, and that if you would just commit 100%, you could find peace and contentment? Or maybe you have given your life to Christ, but your have not committed fully to His calling on your life. Maybe you are afraid to make a mistake, over-analyzing everything, or waiting for a "sign" before you commit to what you know He has called you to do. I went through the same cycle again when I felt God was calling me to start Legacy Moms. (Why don't we learn our lessons the first time!!!!)
We may not know everything about where we are going, but maybe committing to it is half the battle. Life is like a rushing river and it is going by.....fast! You can either stand by wondering where the river is going, worrying about all the unknowns......or you can trust God and jump in! I say, "Let's jump!"
God bless!

Being a Better Me

The new year usually motivates me and causes me anxiety at the same time. On the one hand, I'm excited to get back to life as normal: regular schedules, regular meals, etc... but even better. I'm always ready to turn over a new leaf and be a better version of myself. I'm going to get up earlier! I'm going to have a quiet time first thing everyday! I'm going to work out and eat right! I'm going to be a great mom! I'm going to be a great wife! I'm going to floss everyday! But then I feel all this pressure....because the new year is HERE and it's time to get started! (Oh no! I have to get up earlier? Uh oh...I was supposed to work out today! GUILT is setting in already!) And I know that more than likely a year from now I will be trying once again to be the better version of me for as long as I can sustain it, but truth be told, I will probably be the same old,average, imperfect me.
Now, I know that I will never be perfect this side of heaven. I also know that in my strength alone I will never be the best version of myself. In fact, the more I try to improve myself with my own will, the worse I seem to get! This year, instead of focusing on the kind of person I want to be, I am going to focus on the kind of person God wants me to be. I'm going to lay all my imperfections at His feet and ask Him to mold me into the woman He wants me to be. If I trust in Him for everything, and obey His word, I have a feeling that through His power, I will just naturally be the better version of me. I'll be a better mom, a better wife, friend, etc.. Not for my glory, but for His. Besides, where would I be if I hadn't learned all that I have through the lessons of my failures? Being a Legacy Mom isn't about being perfect, it's just about doing the best you can with what you got, doing the best you can today and giving the rest to God. I am praying for you to do just that!